shahnawaz kukkikatte, dubai/udupi

Dear Irene, my sister has not gone for love marriage and she is in arranged marriage and perfectly a happy woman, wife and mother. The same is true in my case. If my sister were to go for love marriage without the blessings of my family and if she was to face a similar situation like above, I am sure she will be left alone and there wont be any helping hand for her.

I straightaway refuse to recognise her and strain all relations and contacts with her. Those who believe in love marriage argue in its favour but the larger and majority of the people in civilized society are against this mad love marriage culture. Love marriage destroys bonds, relations and peace of mind. It promotes hatred and enemity. Here only the parteners love each other and there is no love between the two families and two communities.

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Gopal, Manglore

But this is common in arranged marriage also

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Madhup,

I strongly advise NGO to find a job for Sunitha and for husband not to take her back. It is meaningless to find happiness in a broken all out war. Nobody will be happy. Look at her own maternal uncle, she has also given up. -Mens Rights activist

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irene, mumbai

Some of the comments given by the people I do not agree.What are talking about arranged marriage are 100%sucessful it is all destiny yes we need elders blessings.Love is not blind lovers are blind everything is rosy as long has honey and money is there about dowry quiet possible most people are judged her fate let us not look at the cover of the book one has to go through the book.What a nasty comments some men are given if this happens to your sisters?

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LONA ALBUQUERQUE, MUMBAI

Very sad to know that dowry system still exists in our society.

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Sophie Poulose, Kerala / Dubai

Feel sorry for this lady. But let it be a lesson for young generation that marriage is not only a love bond between the couple but also a family link. It has to be blessed by our God, in the presence of family, friends and relatives. That is real happiness in life.

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Vinaya Soans, Mangalore/Bahrain

Some ladies harrass their husbands, taking advantage of being a female. All the sympathies go to them. NGOs, Public, Police all are with them without knowing the real story.

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Roshan, Mangalore

Often we think that neighbours problem is his problem and never our problem'..But please note that dowry problem does exists in all societies. Let us all think about it before commenting.

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henry MISQUITH, MANGALORE/BAHRAIN

ANOTHER SHOCKING NEWS OF DOWRY SYSTEM. THIS IS AGAINST TO OUR CULTURE. AND THIS IS SHAMEFUL TO THE PEOPLE LIVING IN WHOLE OF INDIA.

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Nelson Dsouza, Karkala\Riyadh

Marriages are made in heaven and love on the "Ground"!! Yes, Indeed marriages with family support are really blessed from heaven and love marriages..see aroung, the time the attraction and the greenery! wane..there you go "Love slowly fades" and reality comes in..the hard truth.

The possible solution for this case: NGO''s to pursue this case, get the boy whereever he is, may be provide him a decent Job and pursuade him to Live with his wife, because that is his life. Otherwise we should make sure "he dont have any married life in "Future" will rue for his decision for ever..

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Tony Pinto, Mumbai - Dubai

Enjoy Valentine day and rest of year CRY for this DAY. GOD BLESS YOU

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Lancelot N Tauro, Manglore - Doha qatar

This is actual meaning of AGAINST OUR CULTURE. So sad story.

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Lance, Mangalore

Hi Jerome, The question is not your sister and my sister. Here is a woman who has gone public of the injustice done to her. She denounces it. Kudos! She seeks justice. Ramasene, the self-proclaimed group that claims to restore justice, should help in ways that gives justice to the lady.

Here I do not recommend or advice that they take law into thier own hands or take up to some violent means or interfere directly with families involved. They could well take a procession or a protest march to denounce the injustice instead of taking useless processions.

Probably I did not make myself clear on this issue. Ramasene needs to denounce the evils, such as, dowry and atrocities against women.Ramasene needs to involve itself in conscientising the public about the social evils that exist in our society through processions or protest marches. Not processions of cultural jingoism.

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Imdadullah, Kotekar/Saudi Arabia

Nobody know their future. Nobody has control on whats gonna happen tomorrow. These decisions are taken today expecting to be a good decision tomorrow. So cannot blame anyone as it was their own decision. face it!!! good or bad!

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SHRINIVAS PRABHU, 92,HEROOR BANTAKAL/SHARJAH

Nothing wrong with love marriage My Respected Sunitha Madam. First enjoying and the result you konw....! Then pressure for marriage! Do you think this is love marrage. Present love marriages and our cultural love marriages are in differ.

Love marrage is in our culture aslo. 16 thousnd Nari''s loved lord Krishna? or Krishna loved them? Love is not in one way. There are two kinds of love one metured love and other on innocent love. This innocent love marriage is very danger. In the case of metured love both try to settle first and then they marry. Fianlly both have to live in thier own earnings.

We konw all the arranged marriages also not fully successful. How can you understand my comments? I worked six years in MIT Manipal as a rural development officer represented by 28 villages (Same Like Mr.Keshava). I worked at woman and childrens development, afforestration, Village information center ( My reserch project)etc so I have some basic knowledge about all of our society.

I know Mr. Keshava and his good NGO called "Spoorhti". I got MN Jai Prakash memorial "Spoorhti" award in 1985. Now working at Dubai in a oilfield company as an estimator. Sunitha, if my family members do such stupid things then our door is closed to them. All my property goes to "Maanasa" as per my will. Don''t bother about me.

I know Mr. Keshava will try to solve this problem and wish both live together life long. We can''t do anything by force. "Pyar se sub kuch hojatha hai" Aur o yehi pyar hai jo aapas se keench letha hai. All the best Spoorthi & Mr Keshava and thanks once again to Sunitha for your lovely comment on my comments. I can view one sight at a time and millions of sights view me 1 at a  time.

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Sunitha, Mangalore

Shridhar, very negative remark. Instead of pointing out fingers, provide solutions.

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Shridhar Shasthri, Mangalore

Sunitha, Anybody can go behind someone, but while running they have to step on right place, right path. Otherwise this will be an example to them...

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Anil, M''LORE/U.K.

Dear Lance I totally agree with you.

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RAJESH, Mangalore

Its just another sob story by her looks,she don`t look like she is poor / helpless women. "Bharat wanted me to abort my child so that I could convert to his religion" - to convert to a religion someone has to abort child ? what type of ritual is that? I think she want some money.

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shahnawaz kukkikatte, dubai/udupi

Here as someone mentioned love relation is not the issue and the issue is dowry. Its just drama. Had he loved her with all sincerity he would not have demanded any dowry. For him this relation was just a time pass and nothing else.

Secondly its very easy for a woman to charge a man on the grounds of dowry as law against dowry is very strict. If there is sincerity, true love and committment this problem of desertion would not have come. NGOs should investigate. Arranged marriages are good and get all support from family and friends and has a social recognition.

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Cyril D''Cunha, UAE

These kind of problems better if solved between family members and community heads. Legal department, Police force, Political influence will worsen the situation and creates only a issue. May be a temporary soluation.

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Alphonse Mendonsa, Pangla/Mangalore

I am surprised comments from many reg negative comments on love marriage, etc. the bigger question here is Dowry and how to solve this. The people so much commented on family values are not worried about her curent status, her agony. Falling in love is not a sin and I think we all watch all the movies, read stories and so on and all the above tell us about great love stories some end up with failures and most of them are successful though initially problems are there to adjust to each other, etc.

It is perfectly fine with Indian culture and family value to fall in love. Offcourse, the lovers always should and must try to explain properly to parents about their love relationship. At times it is very difficult to convince the parents and finally the lovers will take decision based on support from their relatives or friends.

The problem here is she fell in love but realized her husband''s true nature and harrashment from here in-laws. The NGO should help her to solve her problem and see if her husband willing to take her with persuation and a little guidance from NGO.

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Harold Albuquerque, Bondel-M''lore/Kuwait

Girl has to think ten times before stepping into love affair & marriage, ultimately she is the looser in this type of situation, that does not mean all arranged marriages are successful. Can’t come to the conclusion who is right, because this is one sided story.

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Rajesh Rao, Mangalore

I think we should stop commenting on any ones personal life and refrain from giving unsolicited free advices.

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sathis.R, Mangalore

Dear SHRINIVAS PRABHU, One women is in trouble, she loved a man and that man turned out.no use in blaming her. No such cases in arranged marriage?? ...you are talking imported culture...think the net you are using also imported..........u dont wannna use...because its not ours??

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Vinaya Soans, Mangalore/Bahrain

Dont come to conclusion listening to one sided story.

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Sunitha, Mangalore

Mr. Rajesh, i totally agree with you. Instead of making irrelevant comments, let us try to solve this issue. Mr. Shrinivas, i did not understand your comments. you have mentioned that love marriage is not our culture, we imported it. What''s wrong in love marriage? Be careful, tomorrow your own family member might go behind someone.

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Rajesh, Abu dhabi

Well Said Mr. Kukkikatte.Parents never think bad for their childrens. Now a days youth just think about enjoyment and no respect for family culturesand their elders.

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Jawar D''Souza, M''Lore/Doha

This love affair''s alway''s fail 90% of them. The main reason is when you are in love you meet for a few hour''s and the main intention is to please your partner because they love each other. When it comes to marriage, being 24 hour''s together show''s each other thier weakness slowy they will be driven apart for they were expecting only good things.

Where as arranged marriages couples dont expect anything from each other for they dont know each other,so they will try to adjust and live together. Educating your child is a big dowry in itself. I dont think parent''s of a educated child have got nothing much to worry about dowries.No one can stop this menace for avarice for money is so great that people are ready to do anything for it. Only education might help.

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naveen , moodbedri

pyar ho gaya gadhi se uska samne pari kya cheez hey!!!!!!!!!

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SHRINIVAS PRABHU, 92, HEROOR /BANTAKAL

100% I agree with the comments of shahnawaz kukkikatte. We have to respect family values. Love marrage, Living together, Gay,Dating are not our culture but we imported it.

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Rajesh, Barbados

Shreelatha represents for disposable human. You must regret for your mistake and not fare going behind the same men who has no courage in life. It’s a big mistake you did to your parents, who has given you everything in life. There is no way they can keep you away for ever you must go back to them. Its only your parents who will have heart to forgive you. Daiji, lets know if we can contribute an help for this lady.

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Jyothi Mendonca, mangalore/ dubai

Money play a big role in this world, Dowry is become one of the big problem in india, In this article many people will comment, almost of them took dowry in their marriage. If we are not supporting to solve this problem then how it possible to give justice to this poor women. think before commenting.

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Sourya Prakasha, Permude

"I could convert to his religion" Why there is conversion between same religion ?!!

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Saleem GH, , Puttur / Abu Dhabi

Everyone should respect their parents in all means.

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Jerome, Mangalore

Dear Lance,if similar thing happened to your sister,would you ask Mutalik to solve it or yourself.Why do you have such bad taste.

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Robin, Kundapura

Very interesting. She fell in love with KSRTC fellow and not bothered about his background or religion he belongs to while loving. Haduvalli is a place where jains reside nowadays after Nawayath muslims occupied Bhatkal. When these arabs attacked Bhatkal the native jains run away from Bhatkal and stayed at Haduhalli which is some what away from Bhatkal to east.

You can see many Basadis in Bhatkal city but not Jains. Some Basadis were turned to become GSB temples. Like the saying "Alida oorige ulidavane Raja". I explained all these to say Jains have no resisting capacity historically. So let us see how this Jain KSRTC driver (I assumed they are Jains by their names, I am not sure.) will resist the pressure from social groups and public which always PRO that now weeping lady.

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Lance, Mangalore

Hello Mutalik and ramasene, Go and help this lady! Enable her to overcome the condiiton she finds herself in. Do not waste time taking useless procession.

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shahnawaz kukkikatte, dubai/udupi

Family values are important than personal choices. This lady went against the wishes of her family and married without ascertaing facts about her lovers family background and landed herself in soup. One must respect the wishes of ones family members in which they are born and brought up or else such problems shall be the order of the day. No regrets.

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