Media release
Mangaluru, Feb 22: As many as 20 couples tied the knot in a community wedding organized in memory of the service rendered by the institutes towards the destitute during the past 124 years.
Dr Francis Serrao, the Bishop of Shivamogga was the main celebrant of the nuptial mass. Along with the bishop, twenty four priests concelebrated the Holy Mass.
The bishop in his homily said, "The couple need to understand each other and follow 'give and take' policy. As both come from different homes, place and background, it is normal to have differences. But what is more important is to forego the differences and forgive each other. The couple should follow a rule of do unto the other what is expected from the other. If this golden rule is followed, then marriage becomes successful and a happy one.
At the end of the Holy Mass. the bishop honoured those who sponsored the event by handing over the statues of St Anthony as souvenirs.
In a felicitation programme held after the Holy Mass, Fr Onil D’Souza, director of the Ashram, introduced all the 20 couples to the people gathered. He then extended a warm welcome to the couple and the invitees.
The Ashram presented each of the couple with wedding rings. Each bride was given a Mangalsutra and wedding saree. The groom was given a pair of pants and shirt. Each couple was given household items worth Rs 15,000. In all, 60 invitees from each couple's side (Bride 30 and Groom 30) along with the sponsors and other guests participated in the wedding reception. This is the first of its kind programme organized in the 124 years of history of St Anthony’s Ashram.
Fr J B Crasta, designate director proposed a vote of thanks. Fr Larry Pinto, assistant director of the Ashram offered the grace before the meal.
Catholic mass marriages had started 48 years ago under Late Fr Fred Periera for 'Debt-free Coupling'
By John B Monteiro
The latest to join the mass wedding bandwagon is St Antony’s Ashram at Jeppu which calls for a backgrounder on the subject.
Marriage and hanging go by destiny; matches are made in heaven.” – Robert Burton (1576- 1640), English writer, philosopher and humorist is a great reference.
Late Fr Fred Periera
While matches may be made in heaven, weddings are celebrated on earth, often driving the celebrants into deep debts that cripple the newly-weds at the start of their marital journey. That was the rationale of starting mass marriages 48 years ago at Cathedral church of Holy Rosary (popularly Rosario Church). Why and how it was started has been tracked by me from the beginning, starting with an exclusive article in The Hindu.
This is a recall the first mass marriage mela held in the Rosario Cathedral and its campus on the first Sunday of May every year. How did it start and why? I go back to the time when this mass marriage movement commenced and its rationale which holds good even today – as reflected in the latest mass marriage at St Antony Ashram at Jeppu.
On the first Sunday of May since 1974, young Catholic couples have marched to the altar under the ornate dome of Rosario Cathedral in Mangalore. They participated in the free community wedding ceremonies and celebrations organised by the Cathedral Chapter of St Vincent De Paul Society. The late Fr Fred Pereira, the then parish priest at the Rosario Cathedral parish, actively encouraged and guided this initiative. Since the community wedding programme was initiated. over 1,000 couples have walked up the church isle, pronounced their wedding vows, exchanged rings and garlands. But the story should start from the beginning as the rationale of its founding still holds good – as I wrote covering the first event for the Madras-based The Hindu then.
In 1975, St. Vincent De Paul Society’s Cathedral Parish Chapter was marking its silver jubilee. It thought of free community weddings as a novel addition to the string of charitable work it did. And it had good reason to zero in on this project. The objective was to discourage vulgar display of money (often borrowed) through conspicuous consumption of food and drink in celebrating marriages. The organisers wanted to save the newly married couples the burden of expenses associated with private single-couple weddings. In the case of poor people, such celebration not only wiped out economic foundation of married life, but in most cases, the newly married couple started life with a burdensome legacy of debts. This, instead of starting a joint life on a joyous note, introduced a dreadful note of worry and depression on the marital canvas.
Wedding celebration among Canara Catholics is not a one-day affair. Conspicuous consumption starts days in advance of the wedding and lasts much beyond it through a series of dinners and return dinners, with drinks forming integral part of the menu, given in honour of the bridal couple and their parents. Any excuse is good enough to start an entertainment cycle. The bride viewing, which need not be one-time affair, could be an occasion for a dinner for the visitors. Then comes the engagement which is hosted by the bridal party.
The wedding-eve Roce, the ritual bath for the prospective bride and groom, separately in their respective houses, and now even in hired halls, is also an occasion for lavish entertainment. The post-nuptial dinner is an expensive affair with hundreds of guests on both sides participating. Though the other feasts following the wedding are supposed to be for the close relatives, the list stretches to cover scores of guests – in a competitive show off of large circle of relatives. All through these celebrations, a band of “helpers” has to be entertained through breakfast, lunch, dinner and spirits.
The starting of community weddings in Mangalore represented the beginning of revolt against the waste indulged in by Catholics in pointless celebrations. Catholic lay people and clergy banded together into a committee to organise the community weddings. The then Bishop of Mangalore, Basil D’ Souza, had been the chief celebrant for this annual event and, since his death, his successor bishops have been in this role.
The initial organisers viewed with alarm the consequences of wasteful expenditure on wedding celebrations. In many cases agreed marriages were indefinitely postponed due to lack of funds. Prospects of such expenditure meant constant nightmare for parents, especially of grown up girls. It induced some girls to elope with those who promised to marry them without much expense. Some opted for civil marriages.
Against this, the Mangalore community wedding organisers took care of both religious and social aspects of weddings on a collective level. They work months ahead to set the scene. On the appointed day the church ceremonies start with reception to the nuptial couples and ending with wedding feast. Each couple is allowed to invite 60 guests for the celebration. The bridal couples are given a pair of nuptial rings along with household articles and dress materials. More than the gifts, the bridal couples are given advice – not to have any more festive dinners at home by invitation to mark the wedding.
The idea is adopted by other religious communities including at Dharmasthala where 150/200 couples tie the knot annually with goodies, including gold kariamani to the bride, presented by the Dharmadhikari. Muslims have their own mass weddings. To those who might call it a gathering of paupers, it is notable that a son of an MLA in Tulunadu has taken this route.
(John B Monteiro is a writer and former journalist)