Los Angeles, Jun 7 (IANS): Hollywood actress Cameron Diaz admits she was unprepared at how "devastated" she would feel at the death of her father, but now has gradually come to terms with the loss.

The "Knight and Day" actress' father Emilio Diaz passed away two years ago aged 58.

"There was this period of terrible numbness. And it's impossible for anyone to know what's it like until it happens to you. It had happened to friends of mine and I'd go, 'Oh, I'm so sorry', but in reality how could I be truly sorry when I didn't know what it meant," she said.

"No one can ever underestimate how devastating it is. But at the same time, what I've learnt about losing someone so close is that my life is full of his presence," she added.

The 37-year-old actress was always close to her father, and thinks he helped her learn to survive because he taught her how to defend herself growing up.

"You got picked on if you didn't stand up for yourself or take what was coming at you. And as my dad always said, your bite needs to be as good as your bark," Diaz said.