Jul 30, 2009
The response for my last article ‘Catholic Weddings’ was really encouraging and it made me ask my grandmother about other ceremonies like Roce, and Baptism. The comments and suggestions I received helped me get an insight into customs followed throughout Mangalore. Hope it helped it you too J.Many of my friends now ask me when am I getting married for which I found a reply. I simply answer “Almost 90% work is done only 10 % is remaining”. “Oh good. Who is the Girl”? This is the exact question I would be expecting and I drop my bombshell “That’s the 10 % work remaining”. It helps.
In this article I will write about the most happening ceremony in a catholic wedding, ROCE.I wanted to write about Baptism too but then I thought people hardly have time to read an article of 250 words, how and why would they read a lengthy one? So maybe next time I will write about the Post Wedding ceremony of Baptism depending on how fast the couple isJ.Now it’s a minimum of 9 months after the wedding but who knows in future it may be the next day ,same day or maybe before the wedding .You never know.
I will compare the olden days Roce and the present day Roce.First of all, Roce is a small ceremony prior to the wedding day, where coconut milk is applied to the person getting married. The bath after the roce symbolized his/her last bath as a virgin. Roce in olden and golden days was always in the night. But nowadays to accommodate the fast paced current affairs, it is held in the afternoon or sometimes moments before the nuptials.CHANGE.Barak Obama is for it and so are we.
Coming back to the intricacies of Roce: On the day of the roce, the families of the groom/bride offer a mass to the departed souls of their respective families, in a way asking the souls not to disturb the functionJ.The fun of the olden day Roce starts now. Even though my sister got married just before 4 years, I was amazed by some facts I was about to hear from my grandma. Though we tried to follow many of the rituals, somehow we could not follow all. After coming back from the mass, the neighbors used to come to the “happening” home to render their services. Gentlemen used to help put up the tents (MATAV) and ladies used to do what they know the best. No No Not chit chat, but help in the kitchen J.What is happening now? People go only at the time of the roce, just to eat, drink and dance. Community service is a thing of distant past.Anyways back to the roce, ladies made Sāmbhar powder in a “DAANTE” while they sang
“Kiri kiri Daantyaak mandli pity,
Sargar Dhaadlya cheeti hya Ghara roce mun”
I am sure many people don’t know what this DAANTE is. Even I dint know, then my cousin told me “Yar, that’s the machine which Dharmendra used for Chakki Peesing in Sholay”.I have attached some pics of the “chakki peesing machine”. Who said Hindi movies are hopeless huh?
There is one more thing the ladies made:”KARPO”.Karpo is a mixture of grated coconut and onions. Onions and grated coconut are fried, not so finely ground and dried. This would be later used for fish curry and vegetable. The food then was simple: Rice, fish curry cooked with coconut milk, vegetable and most important of all Warn (Paisam).All these were served on banana leaves making people sit in two lines (PANKTHI).Food was served by the relatives and neighbors. Today’s scenario is nowhere near to the old ceremony. Now there will be two counters, with smartly dressed waiters serving PCM (Pork, Chicken and Mutton).Warn is later served in a bowl.
When the bride/groom went for their bath after the roce, people said prayers and believe me it seems a full rosary of 5 mysteries were said. It’s been ages since I said a full 5 mysteries. I also heard that one more mystery is added recently. This holy part has now been replaced by a big dance floor, DJ and an open bar. Dance is the most important part of today’s roce.Even though I am writing this like a saint, I am not one. I remember the roce of my friend’s sister. The music was foot tapping and we danced like never before and in fact the DJ (an old man) reminded us that it was 3 am. As a token of gratitude, we loaded all his instruments back to his Omni. Hope my friends who are now scattered all over the globe, remember this.
A major change in Roce has creeped in off late. Oil and Roce commanded respect then, but now rotten eggs, tomatoes, bone chilled milk and beer act as replacements. Hope in future, oil and roce are not completely out of the ceremony. There would be a never ending JugulBandhi of Vove and Verse in an olden roce.I will not go deep into this, since there are many great books published on Vove and Verse. I have a few friends and relatives who are experts on Vove. I don’t have any problem for my roce J
Just a few words on what our catholic functions are famous: Liquor. Liquor in olden days was served by only those who could afford. It was served in something called “VEEDR”. My grandma explained how it looked like and promised me that she would show me one and I am very happy that she did. The picture of the Veedr is shown below.Veedr is a small cylindrical glass which has a capacity of say30 to 40 ml.Liquor was served during dinner. Two men of the family poured the “SORO” in the Veedr first, then into the glass and then handed it to those who wanted a drink. Mind you there were only two glasses; hence the Soro had to be gulped down in a second or two. Bottoms UpJ.A maximum of two servings of liquor were served, unlike today where there are open bars and whiskey, beer, vodka, rum and gin just keep flowing.
Can I end this without a mention of the attire the bride/groom wore during roce? When I asked my mom, she said the bride wore Kirgi Baazu and at the time of the application of roce, the bride wore a skirt blouse or a frock. I am still in search of a photo of Kirgi Baazu.If you have please mail me to anilsouza@gmail.com The men wore a Vaishti or a lungi.But now brides and her maids come out in Shorts which are really short. The day is not far when the groom comes out in underwear and the bride in a bikini. Hope not.
At least 4 of my cousins are lined up for marriage in the next couple of years and others who are still considered not ready for marriage ,though we have attained the govt age of marriage have decided to create an unique mixture for their roce.The contents are copyrighted and cannot be disclosed. Of course so called modernism has creeped in our age old ceremony.Roce comes once in a lifetime and it’s our duty to make it a memorable for the groom and the bride Isn’t it? Some want it traditional; many want it with rotten eggs and beer. So be it so far as we don’t forget a plate of roce amidst the beer !!
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