May 18, 2011
Marriage is one of the deepest and most complex webs of human relations. It is the most essential part of society and social system as well. Radha Krishnan (1956) writes, “Marriage is not a mere convention but an implicit condition of human society. It is an adjustment between the biological purposes of nature and the sociological purposes of man.”
A marriage is a legally recognized union between a man and a woman in which they are united sexually, cooperate economically, and may give birth to, adopt or rear children.
Marriage has been more recently defined as a legally binding contract between a woman and a man that conveys certain rights and privileges including sexual exclusivity, legitimating of any children born of the union, and economic responsibilities.
READINESS/PREPARATION FOR MARRIAGE
Marriage is a life time decision. Once it is taken it cannot be reversed. There is also no freedom for trial. Once you have developed a relationship, it is difficult to get away completely. One of the partners may get involved emotionally and then break up will be disastrous. Both the partners and their families should be prepared to accept the changes emerging out of this new wedlock.
PHYSICAL PREPARATION
This aspect is related to physical growth and maturity. Age is an important factor. Early marriages are harmful and so also late marriages. Proper knowledge about sexual life and child birth is important.
MENTAL PREPARATION
Individual should be mentally prepared for the marriage. They should be prepared emotionally to appreciate their spouse and accept their in-laws as their own parents. Faithfulness and honesty are other characteristics, which will help in building up happy marital relationship.
SEXUAL PREPARATION
Proper sex education about the sexual needs, sex behaviour, pregnancy, childbirth, etc, is also essential for girls and boys both, before the marriage. Family members or friends, the doctors or family counselors can guide them in a better way by giving scientific knowledge and also information about family planning.
PSYCHOLOGICAL PREPARATION
There are certain behaviors or habits that hinder one from getting along along with the other in married life. These are – doubting, holding grudges, gossiping, jealousy, laughing at or making fun of others, biasing, arguing and combating others, sarcasm and cutting remarks.
The person who holds grudges tends to keep looking for more wrongs. They make themselves and others unhappy without cause. Gossiping is viewed as a means of hiding weaknesses of self.
ECONOMIC PREPARATION
FACTORS IN MARITAL SATISFACTION
Expression of Affection
Affection in a relationship is expressed through both words and actions. In the early stages of relationships, partners usually pay a great deal of attention to each other and behave thoughtfully in a variety of ways. But while affection in new relationships seems to come easy, the real trick is to develop and sustain a genuine level of affection over time.
Communication
Early in relationships, partners often describe their ability to talk endlessly. But over time, communication involves much more than generating an interesting dialogue. Communication becomes a matter of listening to one another's thoughts, ideas, feelings, and opinions. Communication involves trust, a desire to confide, and an ability to express one's self without fear of harsh judgment. Above all there must be secret between partners about their marital relations.
Consensus
As relationships develop, partners establish understandings between them about issues such as money, recreation, their home environment, parenting, and relationships with others in their lives. A certain level of agreement is necessary for partnerships to function well, and this usually requires willingness to compromise.
Sexuality and Intimacy
Among the most important ingredients in a marriage are the elements of sexuality and intimacy. Sexual love is a crucial and binding force in marital relationships. Sexuality and intimacy reassure partners that they are loved, valued, and attractive. In addition, sexuality and intimacy provide relationship security by satisfying this basic human need.
Conflict Management
When partners disagree, the disagreement itself is usually not the biggest problem. Rather, the greater problem may be the fall-out from ways in which partners struggle to get their way. It is wise to consider how conflicts are handled in your marriage.
Distribution of Roles
Marital satisfaction is also related to spouses' satisfaction with the roles they play in the marriage. The problem is that roles changes bit, over time due to - finances, work schedules, children, and the needs of other family members. The trick to maintaining happiness in this unique partnership is learning to work well together, being supportive, and remaining flexible. When change is supported, marriages typically become more solid and loving.
Forgiving
Forgiveness is an important part of problem solving in marriages. As couples work through the various misunderstandings that arise in marriage, they hopefully learn from their mistakes and grow closer through the process. When there is the lack of forgiveness, the relationship enters into a state of decay. Problems are not forgotten; so when conflicts have not been resolved sufficiently to achieve forgiveness, it is extremely difficult to be loving.
Respect for Each Other
The bottomline is that Mutual Respect makes the relationship more satisfying.
Being Sensitive and Supportive
It is essential that spouses learn how to be sensitive and supportive to one another. In supportive relationships, spouses would be more likely solve problems through teamwork. In non-supportive relationships, spouses would be more likely to solve problems through criticism.
Lifetime Commitment
While lifetime commitment does not guarantee eternal happiness, it is an unwavering agreement to Stop Shopping for other mates, to solve problems rather than run away from them, and to stick together through thick and thin. This is especially critical once there are children in the picture.
Keeping their Lives and Relationships in Balance
In a marriage, personal life of partners and their relationship need to be maintained in a balanced manner. Each spouse needs to have some "alone" time to exercise, to collect their thoughts, and in general, to take care of themselves.
Saying ‘NO’ to third Person between the Married Couple
Marriage Relationship spoils when the couples stop giving importance to each other and attracts towards other third person emotionally or physically. If this type of relations with third person exceeds beyond limits, then the marriage gradually gets bitter experience.
Marital satisfaction refers to an individual’s subjective experience of the marriage. Individuals are usually satisfied when their needs are being met, and when the individuals expectations and desires are being satisfied. Marital Satisfaction is a relatively stable attitude and attribute which reflects the individual’s overall evaluation of the relationship. Marital satisfaction depends upon the individual’s needs, expectations, and desires for the relationship.
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