May 22, 2013
It can happen only to me!
My wife’s first cousin is a Pakistani citizen (while all of us are Indians), as I recently learned.
Those days, I mean early 50’s, the communication between the two countries was not so great and hence the bond between the two families was lost.
It is with the invention of present day communication revolution and my Wife’s brainwave of constructing Family Tree, (narrated in an earlier article), which resulted in this great union of two families. That is, my wife connected to her cousin Maria, almost after half a century, only to realize that the cousin is now nicely settled in Peru for over four decades having her own extended family.
With the above connectivity and desire from both the sisters to meet and see each other, though I have my own doubts that from other side it is all to see the sun/fun city of Dubai, our cousin landed in Dubai, this April, just as the season of IPL 6 was shining with full glory.
We take pride in saying that we are world Champions in Cricket. But many may not know the fact that not more than one and half dozen countries play this game. If at all it is played in these many countries, it could be due to the fact that we, people from Indian origin have spread over in these countries, resulting in cricket being played there. In a way it is blessing in disguise. Think for a while in this way, if Cricket was played say in over hundred countries, what would be the chance of we becoming world Champions? Did I hear some one say Zero??
For cousin Maria, living in the other part of the world for so long, Cricket was a strange game and a waste of time. However, being a guest and having to sit in front of TV, without having any other option, she decided to watch the matches taking important tips from my wife. My wife, a noble lady, an Aristocrat with princely tastes, knew everything that was happening in the world, except cricket. That is till the time my children started to watch the game and enjoying it. Now she has started to think that Cricket is the game she has mastered in and could be the right person to guide our guest Maria. Most of the conversation below, is narrated as heard during one of the IPL 6 matches.
Maria: So Cricket always ends in three hours...
Wife: No, in Tests it may go up to five days
Maria: OH! To play the game you have to appear for a test?
Wife: No, that is the orginal form of the game
Maria: So IPL is duplicate?
Wife: No.. it is a short version of the Test.
Maria: Like you appear in the preliminary exams before the tests?
Wife: It is not like that - cricket is played in five days, in one day, in three hours……
Maria: You must be kidding, is it some kind of joke of a game. Forget it, now let us discuss about the game. Eleven people are trying to get out two people, then why are there two people with strange looks, poking fun, standing in the middle and making all kind of signs...
Wife: They are Umpires and with sign language they give decisions.
Maria: Then why do you have TV replay?
Wife: To make sure the decision is correct
Maria: So you want umpire to give a decision, TV replay to ascertain if it is correct and we are here to determine if the TV decision is correct……. Forget it. It is so confusing and boring. Now the bowler throws the ball, then we have to watch the crowd, if the crowd is friendly to the bowling team, and if their cheers hit the sky, the batsman is out, correct? Likewise if the crowd is friendly to the batting team, and if they cheer (all of them) the batting team gets six runs, correct?
Wife: (Could not believe what she was hearing and could not respond either...there are times when even my wife can be quiet)
Maria: Silly ……..Point…..
Wife: What is so silly about it? OH! I mean you are saying Silly Point, that is field position.
Maria: And you have long leg, short leg, fine leg, cover point, deep leg, slip – what is this? Is this some kind of invention from a Sex Maniac?????
Wife: Maria you are taking it all wrong. These are all decent words and invented centuries before by the British
Maria: And you have a guy to keep the wicket looking like a chicken, Someone to run around with a bottle of water, time out to waste time, eleven plus two people plus TV guy to give out two innocent people in the middle and at the end of three hours you need super over, like only superman can save cricket!
And all this, you crazy people are watching and those people are getting money for wasting your / their time.
Wife: It is not like that, it is entertainment. Each one is representing a team and the joy and happiness when our team is winning is so much…..it is exciting!
Maria: Why is that person having a white towel attached to his belt while bowling?.
Wife: That must be to wipe the sweat
Maria: I've had it…..How come only one person needs the towel to wipe the sweat? What about others?
Wife: I have no idea
Maria: Exactly. You have no idea... what is happening there is not known to you, and still you are pretending to enjoy the game. I am glad that I shifted to a place where we have better things to do. It is almost midnight... let us go and sleep. I can only pray for you people who are crazy about watching this so-called game. If you ask me, we must complain to the United Nations, the Human Rights Commission – and ban this game.
My wife was joyous that this discussion got over as she had no idea how to reply to Maria. She was even more joyous that Maria left our home and the country to her destination, for when the secret of the White towel and rotating watch was revealed in the next few days, it would have created horrible scenes at home, all in the name of cricket.
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