August 2, 2013
We are all humans. Though we are different we still compare ourselves to others. Comparison between individuals is done for a feeling of approval, a feeling of acceptance in the society. We measure how we fit into this society by comparing ourselves with others. If my car is better than my neighbor’s car then I feel happier but when I feel my neighbor has a better ride than me I feel depressed. People compare themselves to others around them, may be at job, college etc, without realizing that they need to focus on their own lives and compare how they were a few years ago and now.
Do not judge yourself negatively in comparison to others because this can affect you in negative ways. For example, young girls learn to hate their own bodies because they compare themselves to the ideal figure of divas on TV. Young boys compare themselves negatively to superheroes. They end up feeling insecure about their looks. The only way they can make themselves feel better is to compare themselves with someone worse or to put others down in some way. That is why we see bullying in schools and colleges. What society does is differentiate people and they make you believe that you have lesser rights to be happy because you do not fit an idealistic lifestyle. By comparing yourself to others you tend to throw your self-esteem down as there will always be those who are better than you, and those who are worse than you.
Reminds me of a story my friend James told me few years ago. James and Jillian joined piano classes when they were in class 5. They both passed level 1 of piano classes, James fell sick and couldn’t go to school for a year. When he returned, Jillian had already got into level 4 of piano classes and James was jealous of her, because she knew things better than him though they joined during the same time. He gave up on his piano classes because he felt he was no good compared to her. His piano was lying in his garage for many years and one day when he was watching a musical show on TV he remembered his piano classes and dusted his old instrument and played beautiful music. This made him feel good.
Do things that make you happy rather than comparing yourself with others making you feel bad. If you feel you need self-improvement set a goal for yourself. Be sure that you're doing it because it will make you happier, rather than impressing somebody else. For example, stop applying makeup if it makes you feel better. Start helping others. Learn something new. Work towards a better grade, be nicer to someone, try to be more outgoing, train yourself to run faster, work harder towards that promotion, learn to better manage your time, change your habit of being a perfectionist, etc. Do it because you feel good about it, not because you feel bad about yourself. This is your life.
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