August 9, 2013
There were good actors, bad actors and very good bad actors
Bollywood Republic of India’s most favourite form of entertainment (after IPL & soap opera) ‘The Bollywood’ has dished out its mediocrity to the mad crazy fans for a far long time. The entire system works on a spiteful consortium wheel, where two or more families help each other's children to make it big. The leading men and the ladies in bollywood are sons and daughters of the leading men and the ladies of the super seventies! Only the times have changed, but stars remain the same. And don’t be surprised, during award ceremonies that they refer to each other as ‘aunty’, ‘Uncle’, Beta’, Beti!!! They literary mean it, all are somehow related to one and other.
Thanks to the second string filmmakers and the Multiplex world, actors like Ranvir shorey, Vinay Pathak, Boman Irani, Suresh Menon, Rajpal Yadav, Saurabh Shukla etc have reshaped the comic ingredient into gem that was once known for and introduced a brand new style of comedy. But here we take a look at some of the actors drubbed as ‘comedians’, and hence were in a mission to make us breathlessy-laugh, but never able to succeed. These actors (call themselves actors) insulted our common sense, tested our patience, increased our blood pressure, made us bang our head against the wall, robbed our precious time and money and made us hate bollywood and everything associated with that.
Kader Khan: In the turbulent decades of bollywood, there ruled a turbulent actor, who amplified the turbulent times (the 80’s and the 90’s) that bollywood was going through. Kader Khan can be safely called as the ‘Father of Bad Comedy’. Khan mostly played supporting roles, as a ‘brain frying’ father or a brainless grandfather or simply a retarded old buffoon. Khader Khan’s delivery was loose, his comic timings was offbeat and he didn’t even bother to improve it. Neverthless, he was a regular pick up by directors and the disastrous scripts jammed well with Khan’s shady performance.
Govinda: Following Kader Khan’s footsteps was an overweight, shapeless bodied, loud noisemaker, who could dance. Govinda never attempted to improve his physique or his acting skills. Govinda relied heavily on creepy dialogues that were annoyingly unpleasant and were largely un-laughable. He created a record of twenty consecutive movies with similar sequel and theme. Whenever his movies are played on television today, one feels like pelting the remote at it. Govinda’s comedy sounded like brass brand played in a funeral possession.
Shakti Kapoor: The man whose role supported another embarrassing actor Govinda, that together earned them the title as ‘Disaster Duo’. Shakti Kapoor played roles that more often resembled his off-screen mind-set. Kapoor portrayed himself as a shameless womaniser, a loud-mouthed jerk and an element in the movie that torments the audience, each time his face appears onscreen. Even to the extent where people used to hate Shakti Kapoor look alikes!
Tushar Kapoor: With his sister's grace, the junior Jithendra was rammed into the silver screen in early 2000’s. Tushar Kapoor’s facial expressions, his peculiar voice, his confused looks and vast inability became the object of ridicule. Tushar started as a boy next door romantic lead, and saw his films being bombarded at the box office, so this brave gentleman decided to turn to comedy! And what followed was filth and garbage, Tushar Kapoor made films that shouldn’t have been made by professional filmmakers and certainly not for the well educated 21st century audience. His dialogues forces one to leave the seat and run out of the theatre in frustration.
Johnny Lever: As a talented stand up comedian and mimicry artist, Johnny Lever burst into the stage and screen world in the mid eighties. He often imitated and parodied politicians, actors and famous personalities. But eventually when he got into bollywood, due to the substandard scripts, Johnny Lever lost his midas touch, with which once he used to make his audience laugh. By the late nineties Johnny Lever era began to fade away, as he failed to innovate his comic skills and delivery. And with the emergence of comic power lords like Rajpal Yadav, Suresh Menon and the enigmatic Boman Irani, the filmmakers began to ignore Johnny Lever, and was never considered as the first choice comedian.
Akshay Kumar: Akshay Kumar’s roles were composed of abusive-humour, foul language, hyperbolic action sequence, unsuitable dialogues and over estimated self image. Akshay Kumar’s egoistic attitude has made him demand abnormal pay price and profit sharing ratio, undue to his credit. Akshay’s movies makes you to tear down your sofa with rage, as he pinpoints his female co-star in ‘Rowdy Rathore’ as ‘Maal’ atleast five times and breaks all moral codes in ‘Kambakhth Ishq’ using worst kind of foul slang’s, never used in Indian cinema.
However, traditionally bollywood has been blessed with majestic supporting actors with genuine class and elegance. In the fifties iconic comedians Johnny Walker and Murad used crafty acting skills blended with humour and won the hearts. In the sixties Mehmood and Rajendranath stole the show from the lead actors, making them incredibly bankable. The seventies decade was governed by lighted hearted comedies, and here actors like Asrani, Om Prakash, Amol Palekar, Jagdeep and the genius Keshto Mukerji swept the mandate and strengthened the position of Indian Comedy. But the next two decades of Bollywood were the most disappointing, where Mafia overtook bollywood and influence replaced merit. The Stars of the yesteryears had begun introducing their spoilt brat good for nothing children into the industry, thereby creating a vicious cartel system.
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