Are you into an Intellectually Compatible Relationship?

  •   Tue, Dec 21 2021
  •   By Vinet D'Souza

December 21, 2021

The success or failure of a relationship depends on several factors. Intellectual compatibility is one such essential factor according to relationship experts. It can make the relationship long lasting and more exciting for both the partners. When you are intellectually compatible, you’ll have similar levels of vocabulary, knowledge on certain subjects you can converse about without getting bored.

What does it mean to be intellectually compatible?

If you are able to talk about everything openly, could debate respectfully and have a pleasant feeling then you are compatible and have the same chemistry. If texting or talking on the phone or sharing links is exciting then that is what you want in a relationship. You should be compatible not only emotionally and physically but also intellectually. For a fulfilling relationship, we need to hold intellectual and stimulating conversations. If someone gets excited talking about their work and the other person gazes off into the distance without care, there is no intellectual compatibility.

Intellectual compatibility has more than one dimension. We can accept it up to a certain point, sharing vocabulary concepts and perspective can make it easier to have meaningful conversation. It means you and your partner share similar views on what you consider interesting or mentally stimulating.

When two people are intellectually connected, there is no hesitation in sharing their thoughts and ideas even when their opinions differ. They know each other from inside, much deeper than anyone else does. This doesn’t necessarily mean you both need to have a high IQ level. It simply means that you both have the capacity to indulge in deeper conversations that become mutually interesting for the two of you.

What if you are intellectually incompatible?

Intellectual compatibility matters in a relationship, though it is not entirely essential. Many relationships with mismatched personalities also lead a happy life together. People could be attracted to each other yet at different levels when it comes to intellect. Its compatibility that’s what makes a difference when it comes to various areas of relationship like social, behavioral or emotional.

Some people rely more heavily on intellect and logic, while some are driven more strongly by their feelings and emotions. If you approach someone who is driven by feelings and speak about nurturing, surrendering and love that will appeal to them greatly. But if you speak the same to an intellectually driven person, they may not be able to understand love and surrender because they are driven by intellect and knowledge rather than feelings. They perceive everything through the lens of knowledge.

If you know there is an intellectual difference in your relationship, always remember that you can’t force your partner to change who they are. You can, however, find other ways to strengthen your relationship by looking for mutual interest and other facets of life that you enjoy together. This can cement the relationship.

Bottomline

If you and your partner are intellectually incompatible, does that mean your relationship won't workout long-term? Not necessarily. Every couple has their differences. What you do with those differences will determine whether or not your relationship will be successful.

 

 

 
By Vinet D'Souza
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Comment on this article

  • Winston Almeida, Udupi/Abu Dhabi

    Thu, Dec 23 2021

    A well-written article by Vinet ........... quite insightful and informative. Most of us overlook this aspect when we get into a relationship.


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