August 30, 2024
Today, I write in pain, because we have failed as men. Now, we are looked upon as nothing less than brutal sexual predators by women and why won't they see us that way, the amount of crime and atrocities committed by men on women and the way they are committed is truly barbaric, it is obvious that any woman will be scared by us men. I used to not believe in monsters before, but some men have proved that they really do exist. I was shocked to see a report from National Crime Bureau which states that on average 80 rapes happen every hour in India and this data is based on reported rape crimes, now imagine how many more unreported cases must be happing every hour. Hell, a girl might be getting raped as we read this article. My God, the very thought of it sends a shiver down my spine. I read about 8 different cases of rape and murder just a few hours after the Kolkata Doctor’s incident. Reading the news nowadays is like watching a horror movie. I, being a man, am truly disturbed by these incidents and I can just imagine the fear women must be having. We thought that the Delhi Nirbhaya case would at least bring a change in the law and society, but I guess we were wrong. It just keeps getting worse every day. People used to blame the girls for getting raped. They used to blame her clothes, her character and her choices. If that was really the cause then how come an 11-month-old baby gets sexually assaulted? Was it her dress, or was it her character? Even more gut-wrenching are the cases of an 80-year-old bedridden lady getting raped. Ah! Seriously, what dress, and what character are we talking about? We are good at blaming the victim always. Let me be honest, I too am a man, I too get attracted to women, but good lord, never will a thought of harming them would ever come to my mind. Who gave us the right to claim and possess a woman's beauty? What authority do we have to destroy a girl's life? We must understand what being a real man truly means. All we men have some kind of pride in our manhood. We claim it as if it's some kind of a privilege. But let me tell you, being a man is not just about gender, your beard and moustache or a pair of balls between your legs. Being a real man is all about how you treat those around you. It is about how you respect the women. Being a man doesn’t come with the right to dominate or possess a woman. You are a true gentleman if a girl doesn’t feel the need to readjust her clothes by the way you look at her. You are a true gentleman if a woman does not feel scared walking past you in the street alone. You are a true gentleman if a woman doesn’t feel awkward stepping inside an elevator with you. Being a true man is all about how you treat and make the lady feel. As long as the women are afraid of the mere presence of us men near them, then I must say we really have failed as men. Yes, men and women may not be physically equal to each other, but when it comes to living life, both men and women have equal rights. All these perversions of men have made women feel disgusted and afraid of us. What kind of men are we if our women do not feel safe around us? Just for the sake of fulfilling a momentary urge of sexual arousal men are raping and destroying the life of women. Such a beautiful hope-filled life is forever gone because of some monstrous men and the way they commit the crime is something that makes my hands tremble even to write it.
Every time in every part of the world, whether it's war crimes or any other conflicts, it is the women's modesty that is always suffering. Women are always targeted, in war conflict zones, where women and children are raped and killed. A woman is a cradle of creation, it is from where we men are born too and yet it is a man who desecrates it. We, men, have made this world so scary for women that many feel that being born as a woman in today's world itself is a curse and for this, we men are to be blamed. Even if the girl's character is flawed, we as men should not take advantage of it. Even when a girl is in her vulnerable state, we men should not abuse her rather we must protect her and guide her. Men, let us not play with the lives of women. She is not just a body of flesh and skin, she is a human with feelings, she is someone’s daughter, sister and wife. She is an individual by herself. She too has hopes and aspirations. Men- don’t let your lust ruin her life. And when a woman trusts you, please don’t break that trust because a majority of the gang rape cases I have read about were committed by people whom the girl knew and trusted. This is truly sad. We belong to India where women are considered divine and yet our respect for them seems to be only limited to Navarathri festivals and other rituals. We men should show respect to every woman no matter who they are in our day-to-day interactions and not just wear a façade of fake women empowerment and feminism. No candlelight marches, no amount of slogan crying, nor the law or police can make this society safe for women. The real change will begin only when we men start becoming a true gentleman by our actions. Until then, no country is safe for women. Although I want to take a gun and blow the rapist’s brains out, it won't solve the problem. Every man is responsible for the women's safety. The day a woman doesn’t feel threatened by the presence of men as she walks in the dark lanes after her office hours is the day we truly become a real man. Our presence should make the woman safe, not scare her. Our presence should make her feel strong, not suspicious. Each of us men have the choice to be either like the Maryada Purushottam Shree Rama or Dashamukha Ravana, it is what we choose to be that matters. Through this writing, I pray to all my fellow men out there, let us be real men, not monsters.