By John B Monteiro
Mangaluru, Aug 20: The days of our years are three score years and ten; and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, yet is their strength, labour and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away. - Psalms XC 12.
This Biblical psalm seems to ignore another passage from the Old Testament wherein Methuselah, a patriarch, is cited as having lived for 969 years. (Genesis 8-27).
Helen Rego (nee Aemiliana Souza) who passed away on August 19, 2015 had beaten the Biblical landmark by a wide margin and could have been the oldest among us in this region – as she would have hit 108 years. She lived at Barbail, in Derebail Parish of Mangaluru - which is accessed through Yeyyadi. Writing for daijiworld two years ago I had noted that "If I am not enlightened otherwise by anyone, she could be the oldest in Mangaluru diocese". Visiting her on the morrow of her 106th birthday, I was rewarded by a one-way conversation, since she was hard of hearing and I am poor at shouting. But, perhaps, we should start with a bit of background.
Helen could be belonging to one of the two Rego families. Dr Michael Lobo, in his Distinguished Mangalurean Catholics 1800-2000, goes back to Pedro Rego (C 1740-) and notes that he "is the earliest known member of the Rego (Nayak) Derebail family. According to some historical account of the Seringapatam captivity, the Derebail Rego family was allowed to remain in Mangaluru, perhaps because some of its agricultural produce was required by Tippu’s soldiers. During the captivity both the churches at Rosario and Milagres (then only two in Mangaluru) were destroyed, but in 1792 when Tippu was beset with various other problems, Pedro Rego took the opportunity to build a chapel at Derebail and it was allowed to stand. The chapel is no longer in existence and the site where it was built is uncertain."
Dr Micheal Lobo also cites Antony Victor Rego (b1938-), member of the Rego family settled in Barebail, off Yeyyadi on the City-Airport Road, printing technologist and founder of Brilliant Printers, Bengaluru. Though Helen’s family is Barebail-located, it is not material for Helen’s story to determine to which of the two Rego clans she belonged.
The old are often used as worthless, useless, dependent and burdensome. They are accused of coming in the way of younger people, may be their own children and grandchildren. But, in the case of Helen’s daughters-in-law, all the three of them now widowed, they bonded together to look after their bed-ridden mother-in-law, with two of them, locally located, taking hands-on responsibility for care-giving. The financial responsibility was taken by Mabel Rego, based in Bengaluru. While the main responsibility was shouldered by Evelyn, whose husband (Late Sylvester Rego) was the latest of the six sons (Bernard (79), James (77), Henry (74), Sylvester (72), Denis (67), Richard (62)) of Helen to die 2012, her sister-in-law, Benny, located in an adjacent compound offered to look after Helen when Evelyn went to the Gulf to be with her only daughter during her confinement. The visit was initially to be for three months; but got extended to eight months. This reflects the sense of collective commitment of the family to look after their centurion plus matriarch.
Born on October 11, 1907, Helen had not much of an education and struggled for life bringing up seven children with income from selling jasmines grown on the one-acre family plot at Barebail. Since the early death of her husband, Eugine Rego (1970), she girdled herself to bring up her children, got them settled and eventually partitioned the family property so that the sons could pursue their lives as nuclear families.
Incidentally, Helen’s husband was a job-hopper. As his daughter, Monica Alvares, explains, he was working in shops in the Hampankatta area. Finally, he worked with Quality Textiles of Leo Pereira.
Coming back to Helen, as bad luck would have it, about 18 years ago she had a nasty fall which dislocated her hip bone. Considering her advanced age, and taking a dim view of her potential longevity and ignoring Helen’s survival instincts, the doctor ruled out correctional surgery and confined her to bed, except for short breaks on a wheel chair which is an improvised combination of a wheeled low platform, like the one we would have to move our gas cylinder around, and her favorite arm chair mounted on it. She had undergone cataract surgery. But, otherwise she has good health, appetite, ate by herself with preference for non-vegetarian food, took no medicine, had no diabetes or blood pressure. Helen had a sharp and alert mind and took in situations and reacted firmly. At her birthday in 2013, seeing that the priest had left some refreshments uneaten, she gave a mouthful to him on food wastage. When I met her, she was quick to comment on my receding bald pate and grey hair. She quickly had me brief her on my only one wife and two children – never mind if she could not take it in.
Among her seven children, six boys (Richard, Dennis, Sylvester, Henry, James, Bernard, Monica), the only survivor is Helen’s eldest daughter, Monica Alice. Born on May 4, 1932, she was married to Joachim Santhan Alvares (Shet) (1915 - 1993) from the Bondel Alvares family settled at Kelarai. He worked in Bombay for the Railways; but his fame is as a front-ranking Konkani writer and as editor of Mithr and Jhelo. After he retired to Mangaluru he ran a printing press named Swatantra, after the then political party. Monica, now 83, lives with her eldest son, Patric Alvares, in Derebail area. He helped me with inputs for this article.
One remarkable thing about Helen was her fiercely hugging the old house. Two of her daughters- in-law have built spacious modern houses in their adjoining plots and Evelyn would have welcomed Helen to the new house. But, Helen insisted on continuing to live in the old house, owned by her Bengaluru-based daughter-in-law, Mabel, where her small bedroom gave her westward view through a small window. Helen continued to live in this old house till the last. So, the care-givers had decided that old age home was not an option "She would have died long ago if we had put her in an ashram", declared Evelyn. She also said that Helen kept better cleanliness and personal hygiene than herself.
That takes us to conclude with Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, US poet (1807- 1882):
For age is opportunity no less
Than youth itself, though in another dress
The sky is filled with stars invisible by day
Helen continued to see the stars till her last day through her window open to the western sky!
Obituary: Click Here
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