Udupi: 'Neglected by children, most senior citizens live on streets'

Sat, Sep 26 2015 06:11:51 PM

Pics: Umesh Marpalli
Daijiworld Media Network - Udupi (HB)

Udupi, Sep 26: "National Senior Citizens' Day will be celebrated by the entire nation on October 1, but in reality most of the senior citizens live on the streets without a roof and the affection of their children, said Dr Ravindra Shanbhag, founder of Human Rights Foundation, Udupi.

Addressing a press meet here on Saturday September 26, Dr Shanbagh said that he has received 285 atrocity cases against senior citizens up to June this year, and 45 additional cases have been received till September. Out of these, 28 have been settled.

"The court has officially passed a verdict on domestic violence cases, but only three of the victims have received justice. The assistant commissioner should wind up every case within 90 days, but 150 to 385 days are taken to close a case. Implementation of judgement is a very tough task," he said.

He further said that in many of the cases, the government officials support the opposition party instead of the victims. "Some judges lack knowledge about acts and legal restrictions. There is no visible difference in placing judicial power in executive officials’ hands. Section 17 of the Senior Citizens Protection Act clearly mentions that the justice himself should investigate the case of senior citizens. Unfortunately, lawyers come forward and present their arguments in court in such a way so as to weaken the confidence of the victims."

Shanbhag cited the example of a 70-year-old widow named Bhagyamma, who was allegedly thrown out by her daughter-in-law, wife of her elder son Surendra. Her two others sons died of illness. "At present she is taking shelter at Mysuru in a small home. Her grandson has threatened her saying if she comes back and demands her house back, he will kill her ruthlessly. Now she has come to HR foundation Udupi seeking justice," he said.

Ravindra Shanbhag stressed on the need for every district to have a nodal agency to take care of deprived aged people. "They must have special powers to handle domestic issues. Old age homes are becoming commercial instead of serving senior citizens. Complaints of domestic issues from places like Koppal, Tumakuru and neighbouring states have also been received at Udupi Human Rights Foundation," he said.

He urged the government to take keen interest in the implementation of laws concerning the needy enshrined in the Constitution.

Bhagyamma was present at the press meet.

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Comment on this article

wj, mangalore
Wed, Sep 30 2015
Everybody is blaming children. But many times there could be valid reasons where parents themselves are to be blamed for being thrown out. If these parents had treated their parents badly then their children will continue the same story. If the parents teach good ideals to their children right from childhood then this will not happen. A lot of cases where parents dont treat their daughter in laws as their own daughter and treat them badly with dowry harassment, mental and physical harassment. This will destroy the peace in that home. Then the son will have to either throw out his wife and kids or throw out his parents if he cannot afford it or has no other option. Therefore let us not be one sided and blame children but also make it a point the parents have a major role in life to avoid such situations. I have seen so many family broken because mother was creating disparity between husband and wife, sons and daughters, children and father etc. Mothers role is to bind the family together and not break it. So sometimes Mr. Shanbaj look beyond the crying face and trying to find out the truth of the matter before you support any such cases.

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suverna, udupi
Sun, Sep 27 2015
Very sad to hear this all...i am remembering my mother... this age how they throw her..which kind of heart they have.. ..they never thought oneday they will be come same age? may be thier belong one's throw them same out... how ..how ...they do this type of cruel work...my tears not stoping ..very bad, when her son was small she hold his hand with full love...now in this her age he should be hold her hand this is the rules of god...why not we all think of.. this is not our duniya..we are staying here only for temporary basis... this is god decision... we need to go back of him... our permanent place is near of god ...why this all not thinking ... please please take care of her.....Hi..bad Gentlman if she fight ,,or shout ... she tell anything bad ..afterall she is your mother..please take care of her... dont make yourself way to go NARAK...MR. Shanbhag please take care of her..my heart broken ... how they do this how?.....

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Hafeez, Dubai
Sun, Sep 27 2015
What a sad story? This is a universal problem, this type of issues had happen in the past it is happening now and it will happen in future also. The main cause of this problem is we believe that our children will take care of us when we are old? That is the main cause? First of all parents should not depend on them, being parents, you have to make them to understand that, their moral obligation to educate them and teach them the value of the life and make them stand on their feet and to search for their living and guide them find livelihood. Nothing more or nothing less,

But our rich parents hoarding properties, bank balance to make their children safe and risk free in their life? This is big the mistake,

we have to tell them we are not depending upon you go make your own life and do not disturb them.

Parents should save for their retirement life enough they should not keep any assurance that kids will take care of them? Kids have to come home as guest and go with out any demands? Old parents will not suffer from kids when they kept away from them,. Everyone after money, such situation you can hire
Maids and drivers paying them good salary and they are ready to take care of you 24/7 if they are treated them as human by educating their children and helping them in their difficult time n sitting with them as family member sharing them happiness, here you will get happy helping them and also they also feel homely feeling and take care you till the last breath,

By this you are getting second family to spend your time in the old age and your poor maid family get a job and livelihood

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Ambrose D'Mello, Pangala / Mumbai
Sun, Sep 27 2015
Real sad state. In pursuit of ones own material welfare, family values, respect to elders seem to be fast eroding. Children must realize they too will get older one day and how you treat your elders today will indeed apply to you too when you get old.

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Stan, Udupi/ Dubai
Sun, Sep 27 2015
No other curse is required if parents are thrown out of the house. The children who throw them out also grow older.Life is beautiful gift of god and we can carry only our good deeds and not our wealth when we die.Blessing will come upon those children who look after their parents well at their old age.

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Joseph F. Gonsalves, Bannur, Puttur, Mangalore
Sun, Sep 27 2015
Suppose the Old aged parents have inheritance rightly preserved after their death to their children then Old is Gold. Otherwise Children are bold without Gold

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PEDDU, MANGALURU
Sun, Sep 27 2015
FORGET THE OLDIES NOWADAYS THE CHILDREN AND NEW BORN BABIES ARE BECOME BURDEN NOWADAYS !! THAT'S WHY THE LKG UKG AND KINDERGARTEN ALL THAT STUFF IN THE NAME OF PRE-EDUCATION.

THE SHOWOFF IS BECOME A FASHION NOWADAYS AND DON'T WANT TO TAKE ANY BASIC RESPONSIBILITIES !!

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Roy D' Silva, Cordel / Dubai
Sun, Sep 27 2015
Recently have noticed this in our Catholic community of Mangalore.

Few decades ago the daughters were married off with gold/dowry etc
and once they were married they were daughters in law of their
Husband's Home and not much interfere in Her paternal Households. The property was distrubuted among the Sons and the major share was given to the one who used to stay at Home to look after ancestrol property / agriculture and He was supposed to look after the aged parents. Even the Sons who were in Bombay/ Gulf too were concerned about the parents and used to contribute
financially uptill the Parents were alive.

Recently the daugthers too get equal share and there the problem
starts when every child will think why should I look after the aged
parents when everyone has got equal share. Further, even if the
brothers who have settled abroad and left their share to the one
who had stayed at Home, the grandchildren from abroad will fight for their share as the land price has shot up in Mangalore.

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Rudolf Rodrigues, Mangalore/Mumbai
Sun, Sep 27 2015
Sharing of property you have described is only if it is 'ancestral' i.e. flowed down from ancestors time and not 'self acquired'!! If it is self acquired, the law is very clear, then it is not at all 'binding' on the owner to even distribute among his legal heirs, he can give to 'anyone' he likes, this is latest law at least in the state of Maharastra, which may not be wary of!!

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Rudolf Rodrigues, Mangalore/Mumbai
Sun, Sep 27 2015
The problem arises when the 'naive' parents transfer entire properties/assets in the names of the children when they are alive trusting that the children will look after them, or in some cases the children my grab it from the parents by using various pressurizing methods!!

The parents should make such an arrangement or Will by which the assets/property to get transferred to the heirs after their demise only!! In such a case no child dare even speak against the parents or ill treat them for fear of being in the bad books of them!!

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Rudolf, Mumbai
Sun, Sep 27 2015
Grabbing assets/property and throwing out one's parents reminds me of the spine chilling very affluent family suicide case that took place years ago in Mumbai, read below:

'Mr. Vasudeo Dalal and his wife Tara Dalal committed suicide by roping themselves and jumping off the balcony of their eighth floor apartment on Sunday, June 14, 1998. Mr. Dalal had even left a suicide note alleging that they were disgusted and depressed by their lives due to continuous harassment by their son and daughter in law. The police arrested Balkrishna (48) and his wife Sonal Dalal (45) couple of days later on the charges of abatement of the elderly couple. During the court proceedings, the manager of Grand Paradi testified that Balkrishna and his wife wanted to get the flat transferred in their name. Nalini, Vasudeo's sister, also testified that Balkrishna and his wife used to abuse her brother.

During the seven years of trial, the Dalals were financially insecure. Their spare parts business was not doing well, and they might had been in debt. After defending themselves for seven long years, on the judgement day on Monday, March 28, 2005, at 6:30 AM, the Dalal's - Balkrishna, his wife Sonal and their 19 year old daughter Pooja committed suicide by jumping from the same apartment in the same manner as their parents did. It is quite possible that the Dalal's decided to take this extreme step because Balkrishna feared that he and his wife would be convicted and may hear an adverse verdict in the case. A ceremony was later performed to get rid of evil spirits from the eighth floor apartment, and the apartment in which three generations of the same family leaped to their death is sealed off.'~hauntedindia (dot)blogspot(dot)in~

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SUHAN, Mangalore
Sun, Sep 27 2015
It is unfortunate that elder citizens are being thrown out from their own homes by their sons, daughter in laws and grand children. Our law system is bad that many a times accused only get justice and victim is left to god's help. A clever skilled lawyer can make an accused by all lies. lawyer and lies have become part and parcel. There should be a fact finding panel even after court proceedings and judgement has to be delivered after the assessment of all by the honorable judges.

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Rita, Germany
Sun, Sep 27 2015
When we hear the Story of the Lady Bhagyamma,it remembers me of many things in Family.This careing of old People at home,/neglecting has two sides.like a coin.Let us remember ,how many times in-laws treat their d.in laws good?harass them?It does not mean daughter in law should treat them too bad or throw them out.when the son has respect ,loves his parents ,wouldnt allow his wife to mistreat them ,however she hates them.when m.in law has treated her daughter in law good showed love,of course she gets it back(might).Many times the Problem starts when it is a question of Money,land,and Gold goes to share.Even before parents death.Greed of Money leads to mislead.Even when parents are living with children, I know many of them doesnt Show love ,even maltreat them.As they get old and Alzheimer Patient,they Forget,but children think they are doing it intentionally.beat them just imagine.In such a condition,a home for the aged is better than maltreat at home.when children were small parents had to offer ,later when old have to suffer.sad,Only helps when some neighbours or relations Keep a watch on These old People and help in time to avoid them suffering.Best is only children respect,love and honour the parents and give back what they deserve.

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ibrahim, Mangaluru
Sat, Sep 26 2015
Don't say uff to your aged parents, old aged parents so much love and care by their children, that we should never hurt them a bit. In turn they always pray to God for the betterment of their kids. Mother has taken so much effort to bring up her kids, and how anyone can desert her? shame on those who turn blind eye while they are ill treated by their wife and kids. It is not the responsibility of daughter in law to take care of her mother in law, sons or daughters can take care. But if in any case if daughter in law shows disrespect get rid of such women and take care of parents. No one is above parents, parents are precious and deserve our attention and care. I have seen many young men quit their lucrative jobs in gulf only to be with their parents at native place..This lady in picture is literally in tears and hurt....so sad incident

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Lawrence, Dubai
Sat, Sep 26 2015
Treat your parents now with the best way possible with your capacity,certainly the same treatment you will get fron your children when you grow old.state govt must ease restrictions to provide financial assistance which is entitled for abandened parents.

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AKEEL, DUBAI
Sat, Sep 26 2015
its unfortunate that relationships are losing its core... if childrens donot take care of their own parents, then its true that one fine day even the same children are going to be parents of some child...
parents are the gems of ones life, so kindly i beg and request all here to plz love your parents and keep them happy forever..
god bless all of us..!!

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Dr S Kamath, Mumbai
Sat, Sep 26 2015
Solution to the problem :
1. Respect your own Father and Mother always and educate children the importance of that from very child hood and stress the importance of their blessings
2. Educate Children when they are young on Cultural ,Moral and spiritual values
4.As you grow older develop a very big friends circle of yours in the society so that none of your children dare to ill treat you from the fear of criticism from society .Amitabh-hema Malin movie Bhagbhan is real mirror of this
5. Try to give out money to instituitions like Church,Temple ,Mosque when you were earning well .The elders there would help you
6 Last option if nothing works go to old age home

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Alan, mangalore/ U.S.A
Sat, Sep 26 2015
Kamath, Wrong again, The best solution would be . Educate ,love , teach your children good values, Respect women in this male dominated society, Better still make your sons & daughters do the house hold chores. help the womenfolk in the household chores. And then when they are educated ask them to lead their own life. Now your responsibility is over. never depend on your children . Lastly do not donate to any religious Institute. Insted donate to your charity of choice irrespective of religion. Make religion our last priority & humanity your first priority. By the way what is your Bihar election prediction , Remember your Delhi elections were totally haywire . Your party of preference not only bit the dust it bit the dust Mite as well . So Long

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Matin Shirali, Oman
Sat, Sep 26 2015
finding respect,peace , honour and pride in old aged parents life! Their fragrance of love is all over our family, we smell it and feel it every moment. The greatest gift they ever gave to us. Please do not neglect your parents in their old age. Please consider it as a privilege not as responsibility, you will enjoy it. It will be a blessing for you and your generations to come.
1. held together for a just reason to protect our loved ones..
2. think before to act, your chikdren will also act with you in the same way.

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Valerian D'souza, Udupi / Mumbai
Sat, Sep 26 2015
What Dr Ravindra Shanbhag, founder of Human Rights Foundation saying is very true.
Education should have increased our wisdom, patience and values.
But sadly, gratitude and virtues in the society are eroding.
Many old aged men, they don't speak up, but are in very bad state of mind.

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Langoolacharya., Belman/Washington,DC.
Sat, Sep 26 2015
People,

Those who hurt their parents will never get peace and happiness in their life...I am sure their children will treat them same way...

Very sad development...

...JH...

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Sheikh M, Mangalore
Sat, Sep 26 2015
Why Moral police alias chaddies remains mute when elderly parents throwing out of the streets?

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rajesh, mulky
Sun, Sep 27 2015
They are busy taking care of cows while the human mothers are suffering

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KGShenoy, Mangalore
Sat, Sep 26 2015
She deserves the help and care provided she took proper care of her in laws.

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Ashok Gladys Monteiro, Bajpe ( Korakambla ) Bahrain
Sat, Sep 26 2015
we need to work hard for these people ,I think Being Human is the best NGO , please help Salu for these people ,

Ashok Gladys Monteiro

Bajpe ( Korakambla ) Bahrain

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Udupi: 'Neglected by children, most senior citizens live on streets'

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Comment on this article

wj, mangalore

suverna, udupi

Hafeez, Dubai

Ambrose D'Mello, Pangala / Mumbai

Stan, Udupi/ Dubai

Joseph F. Gonsalves, Bannur, Puttur, Mangalore

PEDDU, MANGALURU

Roy D' Silva, Cordel / Dubai

Rudolf Rodrigues, Mangalore/Mumbai

Rudolf Rodrigues, Mangalore/Mumbai

Rudolf, Mumbai

SUHAN, Mangalore

Rita, Germany

ibrahim, Mangaluru

Lawrence, Dubai

AKEEL, DUBAI

Dr S Kamath, Mumbai

Alan, mangalore/ U.S.A

Matin Shirali, Oman

Valerian D'souza, Udupi / Mumbai

Langoolacharya., Belman/Washington,DC.

Sheikh M, Mangalore

rajesh, mulky

KGShenoy, Mangalore

Ashok Gladys Monteiro, Bajpe ( Korakambla ) Bahrain

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Title: Udupi: 'Neglected by children, most senior citizens live on streets'

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