London, Dec 25 (IANS): Former Arsenal defender Emmanuel Eboue revealed he had thoughts of committing suicide after facing monetary problems in his post-football life.

The 34-year-old who plied his trade for Turkish Cypriot sports club -- Türk Ocagi Limasol S.K. has been unable to play anymore due to ill-health.

The right-back, however remains an Arsenal hero where he made 132 appearances from 2004 to 2011. He was also a part of the London club which finished as runners-up in the 2005-06 Champions League season.

"I want God to help me," the 34-year-old was quoted as saying by the Independent on Sunday.

"Only he can help take these thoughts from my mind," Eboue added.

The former Ivory Coast international has also been struggling with the death of his grandfather, Amadou Bertin -- who raised him before being diagnosed with cancer and his brother N'Dri Serge -- who was killed in a motorbike accident. He has also faced divorce from his wife Aurelie -- who will be awarded all of their assets.

The defender admitted he cannot afford a lawyer anymore and he stays scared and keeps himself away from meeting people.

"I am in the house but I am scared. Because I don't know what time the police will come," Eboue who made 79 appearances for Ivory Coast said.

"Sometimes I shut off the lights because I don't want people to know that I am inside. I put everything behind the door.

"My own house. I suffered to buy my house but I am now scared.

"I am not going to sell my clothes or sell what I have. I will fight until the end because it is not fair," Eboue added.