Special Report: For ‘Single Women’ Marriage Loses Attraction...
Special Report
Daijiworld Media Network
New Delhi, Aug 9: Getting married is one of the important decisions of a person’s life more so in case of Indian women. India is changing and with that our mindsets also have undergone a marked change with regard to marriage, children, live-in-relationships, careers, adoptions etc. It is for this reason we find an increasing number of couple who are dinks (double income no kids) or as we see there has been a sharp increase in the number of career-oriented women who opt to remain single or who opt to be single parents. With channels of higher education and jobs open equally to all, there is an increasing number of women in India who are in business, in service, holding high positions or in an equally demanding jobs like men.
While this is perfectly acceptable and is a good development it is also true that many of these career-oriented women have been showing a tendency of either delaying the marriage or opting to remain single as it gives them the freedom and independence they have aspired for and worked hard to achieve. A recent survey conducted nationwide by All India Women’s Organization has confirmed that an increasing number of Indian women have been showing inclination to remain their own masters rather than becoming subservient to their husbands by getting entangled in the institution called marriage. That is why the moment one talks about a single women chances are that one imagines a single, career oriented and educated alpha female who has chosen the non-traditional and ultra-modern step of opting to remain single.
Of course the trend is prevalent more so among the urban, educated, employed women who deliberately choose to keep men away or far from their lives ‘as husbands’. With live-in becoming common and accepted in most urban areas there is no taboo in having relationships or dating. But a marriage is a strict no for most of them as they feel it is an impediment for their freedom, their mental equilibrium, career and independence.
This survey also reveals that apart from seeking freedom and independence, social evils like dowry related problems, sexual harassment, incompatibility, physical and mental harassment, torture, cruelty, and not finding “Mr Right” (suitable partner) in terms of wavelength, status, wealth, looks and career, have been some of the major causes that have compelled women to be single without worrying much about what the society thinks about them.
Traditionally, in the Indian male dominated society, remaining single is more acceptable in case of men than women. Tongues start wagging when women choose the same path and it is usually assumed that something is wrong with such women. The trend has changed for the better of late and we find more and more young women who either delay marriage or totally opt out of marriage. Many of these educated professionally successful women are at the peak of their professional careers when they are in the 25-35 age groups and do not wish marriage and subsequent motherhood to thwart their chances of going higher places as far as their career prospects are concerned. With a perceptible change in the mindset of the people in general, the “single woman” trend has gained acceptability.
Just because these career-oriented women delay or postpone their marriages having failed to find their “Mr Perfect” it does not mean they are ready to jump into the bandwagon and settle for any Tom Dick or Harry. Instead of rushing into a marriage and live in agony for the rest of their lives in the event of the marriage not going on smoothly, these women are not willing to compromise and would rather enjoy their freedom and economic empowerment. Gone is the prevalent rule especially in UK “you date an Indian girl and she wants marriage”. Guys need not get nervous any more for fear of the marriage factor when dating Indian girls.
Our society always looked upon marriage as the precursor for enjoying parenthood. Being single does not mean women have to thwart their motherly instincts of raising children. These single women have been receptive to the idea of adopting rather than becoming ‘mommies’ which is also slowly gaining momentum and acceptability in our society. Former Miss India and actor Sushmitha Sen was the celebrity trendsetter when she adopted daughter Renee in the year 2000. Many adoption centers have responded to this trend by not objecting to adoption by single parents. The growing acceptability to adoption signifies that there is more to parenthood than just giving birth.
The recent survey of more and more Indian women showing proclivity to remain single comes at a time when there is concern about dwindling female-male ratio in our country. The skewed demographic figures in favour of male child is a cause to worry and now there are fears of an increasing number of Indian women foregoing marriage altogether. It is assumed that the number of ‘single women’ population in India (36 million according to 2001 census) outnumbers the total population of Canada which means it is quite a big number as the “single women” tag includes women who are divorced, separated, widowed or those who opt to remain single.
There are growing apprehensions that this trend of ‘single women’ would deal a big blow to the Indian family system which is bogged down by many problems. On the other hand there is also a thinking that this trend would arrest the growth of India’s growing population. No doubt, in Japan and other European countries this trend has affected the demography to a certain extent. But it may not have any significant impact on our population.
India has changed. Henceforth apart from DINKS we will have single, career oriented, independent and successful women with or without kids. So what could be the suitable acronym for that? Choice is yours.