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New Delhi, Sep 20: Women have for long complained of being abused by men, which the law takes very seriously. Now it’s the men who claim to be at the receiving end.

A new survey has found that no less than 98% of Indian urban husbands say they have faced domestic violence in one form or the other during married life.

The study, conducted by two non-governmental organizations (NGOs) - Save Indian Family Foundation and My Nation - looked at four aspects of domestic violence - economical, emotional, physical and sexual. In a sample survey of 1,650 urban men, almost 98% of the respondents said they had suffered violence under one or the other of these heads more than once.

Economical abuse was found to be the most common complaint with 32.8% saying they had faced it at least once in their married life, followed by emotional (22.2%), physical (25.2%) and sexual violence (19.8%).

Nagging, grumbling, taunting, name calling, refusing food, denying sexual intercourse, abusing parents and family members, snatching salary, throwing objects, scratching with nails and biting, threats of suicide and even eviction from the house were some of the common forms of abuse mentioned. But perhaps the most serious was framing of false charges under the Indian Penal Code.

“It is true that men account for most of the violence outside the home, but women instigate most domestic violence and they injure men more frequently and more severely,” says Swaroop Sarkar of Save Indian Family.

“When a man tries to tell his problems of torture and harassment in marriage, no one really listens or believes it. Many men are ashamed to admit they are beaten at home by their wives and her family members because everyone believes a woman can never be a tormentor. But the reality is often different,” said Sarkar.

  

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Comment on this article

  • xavier, Belgaum

    Sun, Sep 23 2007

    Your research and survey is absolutely right, no one ever believes wife harasssing the husband. The Indian Panel Court and the law is always favouring the female genders in most of the case in family court.

    The Indian panel court helps the women to win the case and due to this encouragement given by the law helps the cheating housewives to success their own ways. The Indian law has even opened Women's Police Stations and Mahila Mandals to put husbands on test and treat. A husband who takes care of the family and the house is now brought to court for not fulfilling the needs of the family.

    But, on the other hand if a husband looses his job, the court cannot provide him with a job. The court always insists a husband to fullfil the wishes of family and wives and in the end the men/husband has nothing for himself e.g family love, food, rest, peace of mind, sexual enjoyment has been deprived by the wife, etc.

    DisAgree Agree Reply Report Abuse

  • francis mathias, mudarangadi/bahrain

    Sat, Sep 22 2007

    This article is nothing but mirror to the society. I do not think no husgand has escaped from any one of these abuses at some time or other as saying goes "naari munidare maari"

    DisAgree Agree Reply Report Abuse

  • Alfred J. Rebello, Kundapur/Dubai

    Sun, Sep 23 2007

    Once I read, 'I am the boss of the house and I have my wife's permission to say so'. This is what exactly happening in this today's advanced world, where world has given equal rights to women and this is the result. One can wonder what would happen if the women are given more rights than men. If a family to stay together, the husband should be little above than the other in general, say 60/40 ratio in maturity.

    I some cases, a wife can also be above than the husband. But when it comes to love one should be above than the other. Rest follows automatically. Regretfully, for many Wifes husband is only a provider and for many husbands wife is only a child making machine.

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  • Priya Das, Karkala / Mumbai

    Sat, Sep 22 2007

    Poor spouses. God help them. It may be true that such things are happening around most of the time.

    DisAgree Agree Reply Report Abuse

  • Adams the silent Sufferer, Mangalore/Kuwait

    Sat, Sep 22 2007

    This is a absolute truth. While there are women who are still abused, it is majority of men who suffer who are tortured and tormented mentally, emotionally & even physically. These men has no one to share their experience and also find it difficult, since NO one will belive them, but only have to suffer in silence & and go down on their knees to compalain to their Creator. Constant nagging & complaining, that too complaining on everything that is under the sky, comparing husbands with their nighbours and rich friends, criticising for each and evey action whether it could be family matter or office work, non co-operation, unwarranted criticism on husbands family members on very silly matters and this list could go on...on......on and threatening to walk out from marriage.

    These women present themselves so sincere and obedient in social gatherings but only their men know what they go through in their lives. Times & Tides have changed & now it is poor men are made a scape goat for every action and get slaughtered through suffering silently and at times join their Creator much earlier than called for. GOD Help the man.!!

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  • leena pinto, nejar/ ireland

    Fri, Sep 21 2007

    Poor spouses. God help them. Always men are accused of abusing their better half physically and mentally.no wonder that no one believes thier plea.

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  • Umesh, Bajpe

    Fri, Sep 21 2007

    Yes, it is true. Men are often tortured mentally and physically by women, and yet men are blamed eventhough it is not their fault and also men are ashamed to tell or discuss with their friends or family. Abusing parents or family members, forcing husband to spend money on unnecessary things, comparing husband with some of his rich friends, threatening to commit suicide for silly reasons are common with women.

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