All in the Name of Honour

November 10, 2011

An honest reflection on a draconian practice in our societies

It was the spring of 05’, in the beautiful valley of Karora village in Northern Haryana, when the sun had bid farewell and the Full-Moon accompanying with cluster of stars appeared in the darkness of sphere, Manoj had fallen in for Babli. Although, this Haryana lad couldn’t figure out the extent of his fall, he somehow got convinced that it had been a free-fall into the abyss, in love with Babli. At his first encounter with his lady love, he acted rude, for he had been a stoic all his life, and his friends tagged ‘Stone Hearted’ referring him.

To Manoj, she was just a woman, but as time passed, and seasons cycled, the cupid set his armour into strike at our boy ‘Manoj’s’ young heart. It didn’t take too much time for Babli to concede Manoj’s request, amidst they had to encounter agony, grief, pain, distress and a load of sacrifices. A year later the young couple began to feel their souls in eachother, they decided to court their love for life. Just as a means of formality, they had to turn to their elders for approval. However, the approval never seemed like coming, Babli pleaded her father, who was adamant on cast.

Manoj belonged to a different cast, a relatively lower than Babli’s, Desperate in love, the couples decided to elope. They did, but only a hundred miles away, where Manoj’s friends helped in the registration process. A week later, Babli’s brother Suresh found their whereabouts and coerced her to leave Manoj, with a threat of murder. Little did he know that, threat of death would send fear signals to landlords, mafia dons, politicians, but not for those in love. Babli bravely defied her brother’s vengeance. As societal stigma advanced in the neighborhood, Babli’s father Charan Das ordered his son Suresh to fulfill the family’s wicked wishes and save the family’s honour. Not tough enough to handle the ‘shame’ caused by Babli, her brother Suresh set forth to redeem the lost honour.

On June 9, 2007, Manoj and Babli were found dead near a canal, the scene appeared terrifying as the couple was brutally slaughtered to death. The investigating authorities confirmed it as a cold blooded murder. As the Electronic media for the first time, awakened to the enigma surrounding the ‘Motive’ behind the killing of newly wed couples; to their astonishment and largely to the world’s, they discovered it to be an incredibly disturbing one. It was baptized by the name ‘Honour Killing’, (License to kill for the ‘shame’ caused by the girl, as a pretext for preserving the Family honour). And it was effortlessly carried out by Babli’s family members, her Brother Suresh, her cousin and her uncle with clear instructions from her beloved father ‘Charan Das’.

At his first hearing Charan Das, openly justified his decision, on the grounds of rituals, that were practiced for centuries. To encourage his position, the self-proclaimed Panchayath legal body the vicious ‘Khap’, openly lauded the assassins, and protested against the civil bodies and human rights groups for interfering in traditional matters. The local bodies of law initially dismissed the case for lack of proof. But the extent of savagery on the part of the alleged, were enough to evoke considerable media attention. Even Though the Haryana politicians sought interference, hoping to submerge the case, the voices of sanity resisted with thrust. Three years later on March 2010, after raging outcry from the civil society, human rights groups and the media, the accused were sentenced for Capital Punishment.

The Indian Media and legal experts hailed it as a “Landmark Judgment”, a victory over the infamous assemblies, which acted for years with impunity as parallel judicial bodies. After the judgment, in a Parliament session, Home Minister P. Chidambaram proposed a bill that included “Public stripping of women and extermination of young couples from villages and any act which is humiliating will be punished with severity”, and that would “Make Khap dictated honour killings a distinct offence so that all those who participate in the decision are liable to attract the death sentence”.

The iconic Human rights Organization ‘Amnesty International’ defines the concept of ‘Honor Killing’ as “The regime of honour is unforgiving; women on whom suspicion has fallen are not given an opportunity to defend themselves, and family members have no socially acceptable alternative but to remove the stain on their honour by attacking the woman”. Over the years, this form of killing has taken centre stage in third world countries. The Human Rights Watch reported that counties like India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Brazil, Mexico, Columbia, Iran, Indonesia, Sudan, Egypt, Turkey and Saudi Arabia have a high degree of oppression towards women, in the form of Rape, torture, sexual harassment, verbal abuse, domestic violence, repressive societal norms, honour suicides, Public flogging & Stripping, Forced Marriages and Stoning to death.

It is estimated that nearly ten thousand people are killed in the neighboring Pakistan every year, for the alleged crime of causing ‘shame’. Salman Rushdie’s upsettingly brilliant psycho-profile of Pakistan, in his 1983 novel, Shame, rightly laid emphasis on the crucial part played by sexual repression in those regions. And that was before the Talibanization of Afghanistan, and of much of Pakistan, too, it is popularly called ‘Kharo-Kari’ in Urdu. Author and Journalist, Christopher Hitchens summarizes situation of a backward society like this: “Here is a society where rape is not a crime. It is a punishment. Women can be sentenced to be raped, by tribal and religious kangaroo courts, if even a rumor of their immodesty brings shame on their menfolk. In such an obscenely distorted context, the counterpart term to shame which is the noble word ‘honor’ becomes most commonly associated with the word “killing.” Moral courage consists of the willingness to butcher your own daughter”.

The story of India doesn’t appear bright either, atleast a thousand people have been done to death each year owing to ‘Honour Killings’ and the country needs to introduce stringent legislation to deal firmly with the heinous crime. A website goes by the name ‘www.honourkilling.in’, exclusively dedicated to raise the outlined issue and halt this barbaric crime once for all. It uses such beautiful phrases like the one that says “No Honour in Killing” and “Don’t try to be God if you are not one”. On that note, there is possibly nothing more that anyone could offer to cure this draconian ailment. The other worrying trend, that most Human rights Organizations virtually suspect, is the flow of such thoughts into the veins of Educated Urban societies. Critically, the pressing need of the hour lies on counseling the youths, raising public awareness, schooling on reason and rationalism and formulating stricter laws.

Women are arguably the worst victims of Social Stigmas, Faith based Dogmas, Wars and tyranny for ages. These evils peaked in the dark ages in Europe, the horrifying stories of 'witch-hunts' and ‘burning of adulterers’ would haunt us forever. In these days, feminism has drastically failed in some parts of the world; Afghan women are forced to surrender to the brutality of Obscurantist male folk, while the situations have worsened in the radically charged tribal belts of Pakistan, where women are sentenced to caning; for an alleged immodest behavior. French government study shows that, women make a negligible number in acts of crime & terror; shockingly over 95% of Suicide bombers and militants in the world comprise of men. At the same time, there is a tremendous rise in atrocities against women all over the world. It is important for the World Media and Civil Society Groups to stand united against 'misogynistic' societies and governments. Only when our women are freed from the chains of social repression, we can possibly claim to be living in a civilized world.

 

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By Chris D'Souza
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Comment on this article

  • Tony, Mangalore/Sydney

    Sat, Nov 19 2011

    It`s a shame that this sort of barbaric acts still going on in India. It`s time that we educate, change and progress ourselves, and get rid of all these sort of outdated evil customs and systems (caste, creed, religious followings, dowry, marriages outside caste and religion, etc). How can we claim that we have made tremendous progress since independence in various fields when we have not got ridden of these outdated and evil social systems and culture? By the way, I compliment the writer, Chris, for his bold initiative and highlighting the issue in an excellent way.

  • Jyothi, Manchester, UK

    Thu, Nov 17 2011

    most of the honor killing here not reported, even by her family members or relatives of the victim. people usually bringing up the matter is either her close friends or boy friend to the police. when police come n enquire abt the girl, family members say girl flew to Pakistan or other countries. when her friends insist more abt her... then the matter go to interpol and this is how the crime come to light.

  • Susan, Moodbidri, Canada

    Wed, Nov 16 2011

    It's reminds me just recently a Pakistani father along with his adult son killed his three teen age daughters in Montreal/Canada. It is said to be honor killing now, They r in the prison. If he did this crime in pakistan he can get a way with this.. but this is Canada.. they will get to the bottom of it.

  • Susan, Moodbidri, Canada

    Wed, Nov 16 2011

    It's reminds me just recently a Pakistani father along with his adult son killed his three teen age daughters in Montreal/Canada. It is said to be honor killing now, They r in the prison. If he did this crime in pakistan he can get a way with this.. but this is Canada.. they will get to the bottom of it.

  • A. S. Mathew, U.S.A.

    Sat, Nov 12 2011

    The diabolical spirit of foolish
    pride has penetrated the society,
    and it is projected as " status
    or honor" in the society which has
    killed many and destroyed the
    happy lives of far greater number of people. We try to impress the
    society to please them, that is a
    very false and fake notion. The society is not paying our bills,
    but the vast majority of the people in all the religions are afraid of the certificate issued
    by the society. For the lost life,
    the families will suffer but the
    society may put a garland and
    sympathize with us for a few
    minutes. When the average person
    will get a sound mind with regard
    to this national social disorder?

  • Mural, Bangalore

    Fri, Nov 11 2011

    Wonderful work, chris. This has a clear bright message, and can broaden peoples mindset.

  • Allan Rodrigues, Dubai/Mangalore

    Fri, Nov 11 2011

    A though provoking article, with a instant message of humanity and Human rights. Good work chris

  • Imran Mirza, Bangalore

    Fri, Nov 11 2011

    @rahul: Thats why brave people pen-down their thoughts, coz spoken words cannot be preserved. your question is baseless, coz this essay deals on the crime called 'Honour Killing', & not on your inter-faith matrimony.

    @Imran: Bro...ask some of ur saudi friends , and they shall explain you on what it is being living under such horrifying legal system.

  • Shanthi, Mangalore

    Fri, Nov 11 2011

    @Rahul: any family wont like their daughters/sons getting married to other religion.But some do accept some dont.that doesnt mean they wil slaughter/kill their own children.this never happens in mlore or any neighboring places where there are many inter religion marriages taking place these days.

  • Imran Mirza, Bangalore

    Thu, Nov 10 2011

    Hey buddy, am not surprised to find this penned down by a freethinker. We had discussed this few months ago, and yes it is a disturbing issue. "Moral courage consist in butchering your own daughter", what can be more worse? Our media and our leaders have developed a lunatic mindset, that they would never question any form of practice, if it is associated with faith and belief, however mean it can be. And people should stop blaming politicians all the time, time for introspection, the ridiculous rituals and traditions should be abolished. developments in Pakistan, narrates us, what blind faith can do. children education should be emphasized on scientific temper and inquiry.

  • Mural Vaz, Bangalore

    Thu, Nov 10 2011

    A thoughtful essay, on a crucial social issue. Its hard to accept, that family members participate in butchering their daughters, for immodesty! this seems to me a recent phenomena, and is exported here in bangalore as well. Anyways, quite bravely written and well researched.

  • insomniac, Mangalore

    Thu, Nov 10 2011

    Good question Rahul. I would want people and also Chris to reply this HONESTLY.

  • Sumit Prasad, Mangalore

    Thu, Nov 10 2011

    Hi chris, well written article.Its a grieving story, and one that is in process for years. We hail our nation, a economic giant, but it will never be one, if it can forego such critical issues.Chris, I like your language, its commanding.

  • MAXIM ALFRED DSOUZA, Nigeria

    Thu, Nov 10 2011

    Dear Mr Rahul, here the issue is not agreeing or accepting a inter caste or inter religion marriage but the savage honor killings. You can advise, counsel, persuade a family member from doing so but finally all these attempts fail you just give up or accept. Leave alone the two individuals. You can sever family ties or whatever it is. But no sane person leave alone a parent or sibling stoops to that level,i don't understand whose honor they protect. As for your question there are hundreds of people of community co existing with their chosen partners happily after inter caste or religious marriages. Have you heard of any blood bath?

  • MAXIM ALFRED DSOUZA, Nigeria

    Thu, Nov 10 2011

    Good article Chris on a burning social issue. Keep writing. Even if you can make a small change in peoples perception, it's worth it

  • imran, dubai/mangalore

    Thu, Nov 10 2011

    The highest rape rate in the world is america ,the least rape rate in the world is saudi arabia..coz of the capital punishment...

  • Aravind Prakash, Managalore/Dubai

    Thu, Nov 10 2011

    Well written article! This practice of "Honour Killing" has grown into a prestige issue for many ploticians in North India especially in states like Haryana, Punjab and Rajasthan! We need to inclucate the feeling of love and respect towards the female sex in all our children and teach them from a very young age that human beings are equal. The dogmatic diktats of the various community based panchayts have to be treated as illegal and action should be taken against them. End of the day, without political patronage, non of these panchayats can dictate such inhuman killings! Hence the politicians should come out of thier caste based vote bank thinking and change their prespective! Hope fully with the new generation of politicians we will see a marked change in the situation!

  • Rahul, Manglore - Mumbai

    Thu, Nov 10 2011

    Govt is helpless no one can stop this itself govt, all state own machines are run by Gujjar / Rajputs etc etc even GOVT beg for votes in front of this community members so no CONGRESS / BJP can stop this.
    Articles are written just to read and forgot any way belated nice article by Chris D'Souza.....a small note for Chris if any of your family members want to marry a HINDU or a MUSLIM your family will accept this.......???

  • Roshni Dsouza, Mangalore

    Wed, Nov 09 2011

    A truly honest reflection, this is perhaps our societies biggest sin, killing people in love. This essay rightly sends a very powerful message. Thanks chris, for bringing this horrifying case to light.

  • Vivek Baliga, Bangalore/Abohar

    Wed, Nov 09 2011

    Good article, would like to add one thing here, i stay around 200 Km from Karora( Kaithal Dist), entire HR,PB and RJ, this system is existing even till today, though in PB, due to migration to different parts of the country and people moving out it is lesser, in HR and RJ it is prevailent, guess it is the way they want to conserve there Identity and cultural values of there Clans and families, i have a lot of Jat friends , as friends there are good company to be in but when it comes to issues of family honour, they are up and aganist anything that comes in there way, one more way of looking at it is because these peole have been at the receiving end of almost all invasions and wars that this great country has seen, my 2 cents of though...thank u

  • Sylvia, Kinnigoli

    Wed, Nov 09 2011

    Hi Chris
    Sad story about Manoj and Babli .It happens everywhere....Keep going, nice article


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