August 1, 2012

When I had gone to a showroom to buy a new car a few weeks back, I wanted to get the maximum discount possible. I compared it with other dealer’s quotations and decided to buy the car since there could not be any better discount. But I wanted to push the showroom Manager to the wall. So before writing the cheque, I asked if he could give me anything free. He said they have given everything possible needed for a car. But seeing me unhappy he offered to tint my car free of cost. “Sir, we will tint your car and will also give you extra twenty films. Whenever you feel your tint is old you can replace.” I thought I was the luckiest guy on earth. I liked his generosity.

I drove happily for a few weeks. One fine day I learnt that all the tints from the cars will be taken out as per the Supreme Court's order.The  fine is only hundred rupees if caught for the first time. The next time it is one thousand rupees. But  after paying the fine, one fine day the tint has to removed. All glasses will look transparent. Then there will not be any crime in the car. Whole nation will be declared Transparent Car India. Of course, crimes in other places will continue because it is India.

I knew the policemen cannot catch all the cars in a single day. It will take time. Sometimes when you are lucky you are never spotted. I had driven my bike without helmet and ‘without getting caught’ for months. Even if I am caught now, I can walk out with a hundred rupees fine. Next ‘catch’ may come after months or never. Or the Government may say tint is legal as someone or the other will go to court against the order. These politicians need tint more than us especially during elections to hide their gunny bags with bucks. Other time when the quantity is small they hide it under the seat. I wanted to enjoy my tint..Enjoy my drive..Cool..Cool..Cool.

Everything is legal until you are caught, they say. One needs to be extremely lucky not to be caught by our policemen. I had seen so many people removing their tints with fear of being caught. I had seen policemen removing tints. But somehow luck favoured me for a few days.

On an unfortunate evening, I was stopped by a fat police traffic cop. All of them are fat anyway

“Sir, everything is Ok. But you need to pay Rs 100 and remove the tint right now in front of me. Or I will be forced to remove” He said

“Why should I? “ I asked with light anger. I acted as if I did not know anything about tint ” what is your problem if my car is tinted? I am not a tainted man like politicians and… and… and…” I wanted to name the fraternity of policemen after my ‘and’. But I could not continue.

“But Sir, it is Supreme Court’s order”

“Do you have the copy of that order?”

“Sir, We cannot carry all orders from all the courts. Every judgment is bulky. We may need a truck to carry all these orders. We only carry receipt books”

“ But why should I remove the tint right now?”

“Because it is Supreme Court order”

“Supreme Court interprets law... It does not make legislation. The car dealer tinted my car. Go and catch him. It is hot here”

“It’s hot for everybody not only you. If you keep on arguing I will book you for some other offenses”

“What offense? My car is new. You cannot find anything wrong in my car”

“I am a policeman. I have been trained to find fault in anything and everything. Normally we book people first and then find the faults. We do not arrest people first after finding faults as you people think”

“But I can only pay you a fine take a receipt and go. To remove the tint you need to produce Supreme Court order”

“Sir, please do not keep on insisting for the court order. Nobody has seen it. Only orders are passed. We get the copies after months”

“But Supreme Court has given orders on so many things. You people fail to contain crime and fail to maintain law and order. Do you know how many orders have been given to protect the innocent? Now it’s easier for you to harass people like this”

“Ok Sir. I cannot argue with you. Let me book you for over speeding, or for hit and run or so many other offenses you may not have committed. But would have committed”

“Your statement is very complicated. You cannot arrest me with assumptions”

“Sir, I will arrest you for wearing tinted cooling glasses “. Yes I was wearing sunglasses because it was hot. Cooling glasses in ordinary language means sun glasses.

“But the Supreme Court has not ordered it”

“But as per penal code, a person who hides the eyes with a tinted glasses from a policeman can be a criminal. We can prove it in the court. Since this is the first such case, the Supreme Court may ban tinted sunglasses also”. I did not understand which penal code he was talking about.

I suddenly realised that I was into silly arguments which was taking my time.

As a smart Indian I pulled a fifty rupees note from my pocket and said “Dear officer…. This is fifty percent of the fine. Sorry for arguments. I need to go. Bye”

He just snatched the note, smiled and said “Sir, if me or anybody catches you again please do not argue. Law is very strict. You know about it now.”

“Yes .. Supreme Court order” I said and sped off. I passed by car showroom. I felt like killing the Manager there for being so generous with so many films. He must have given them on the day the order was passed as nobody else would take them. But I do not want to argue with him and waste time. Instead I will ask my wife to paste those films on our window glasses. Until a new court order comes we are safe.