Dad's Letter to his Anne on her Birthday


August 4, 2014


To the apple of my eyes, my ever so adorable daughter Anne…

On your Birthday, I would like to confess to you a few things I may never be able to gather enough courage to say to you ever again.

Anne, I always prayed for a daughter, and as an answer to our prayers god gifted us with you. Words cannot explain my emotions when the nurse came over to me and gently placed you in my arms and said, “here’s your daughter”. And there you were, clad in white, my tiny little angel!!! Darling, I have always shown to the world my rough and tough side, but I am more emotional than your mamma, and if it comes to a “tear shedding competition” I would win it hands down. It is truly edged in my memory, that unforgettable moment, when my tears of joy almost got my shirt wet.

Your Mamma and I have had some memorable sleepless nights my dear, when either one used to remind each other of our duties every mid-night, each time you cried. And every time we used to quarrel, you would go quiet!!! As if to say, “Dada and Mamma, keep me entertained this way till 2 a.m at least”

Your first birthday, was one of the most joyous occasions for both of us, with your grandparents, our close friends and relatives. And today as you are 21, and as I wish you today, those memories are still fresh and I still feel that my one year old daughter, is feeding her birthday cake to me.

My daughter, it has been more than a year, since I last saw you when I came home during vacations, and it has been more than four years since you decided not to talk to me. I have never said it to you all these days, something stopped me from shouting out loud to you “I miss you Anne, I miss you calling me ‘Dada’”. I miss wishing each other “good morning”, “good day” and “good night”. I hope we get the chance to live that life again, where we can start living together with love, laughter and happiness. We can certainly go out shopping, have a walk together in the park and beaches, watch movies, play your favourite game of soccer and playstation. Why not?? For your dada is still young, and will be young forever.

You have all the reasons to be disappointed with me, you are justified to have been expecting so much from me darling. You know what, I always thought I was the “perfect father” who could afford anything and help you grow up. And now when I look back, I did manage to give you all that you wanted but, I had ignored the most important thing, ‘to be with you and show you how much I love and care’.

As you grew up, I remember telling your mom time and again, “Celine, don’t you think our Anne is losing her track and she is no longer the adorable child who everyone loved so much? You are her mother, you should ensure that she grows up with discipline and self-respect.”

Anne, as I recall, and now in the aftermath, I have only myself to blame.

Your teachers at school usually complained about your rude behaviour towards your classmates, staff and friends, the abusive language that you used, your stubbornness, and violence. It wasn’t your fault dear, now I realise that you only followed the things mom and I used to do in your presence at home. And you were not mature enough to know it was not the right thing to do. It was all, my fault.

You were once suspended from college for carrying cigarettes and liquor in your bag. You carried it from home, didn’t you? So it was my fault again. I am sorry.

You were once caught stealing a good sum of money from our locker. You just wanted to celebrate your birthday party with your friends, who had also invited you for their parties previously. It was done because I always used to let you spend excess amount of money, because you were my only daughter, and for the world to know you were “my daughter”. It was again my fault.

You always said this boy Brian, the one with pierced eye brows, tattoos all over his body, a little addicted to alcohol, smoke and drugs was a very rich man’s son. He cared for you a lot, gave you all that you asked for and more, was the one you had chosen to live your life with. And when I didn’t support you, you cut your hand with a blade, tattooed his name on your neck, scribbled messages on your wall and one day finally you absconded with him. 

Let me tell you Anne, I was having a wonderful family life with a decent income there in my hometown. I was never satisfied with it. As I grew up in a middle- class family, I always wanted to be very veryvery rich and powerful. I dreamt of owning a bungalow, luxury cars, a business empire. My greed eventually led me to sacrifice my family life and brought me here to the middle-east. I succeeded, as I can afford anything now. But I failed, to be a good husband, a good father and a good son. And you my daughter, were yearning for paternal love, and eventually tried to seek it from another man. And he broke your heart. Remember Anne, only your father, can be your father. And I had failed to be one for the longest time.  It’s my promise you will get your father and his love.

You do not know the distress your mom and I were in, when we lodged a police complaint to try and find you. We eventually found you, and you were not the same. After a month, you looked down, depressed to the lowest, lost everything that you had. In my absence, your mom took so much pain, counselled you, helped you continue your studies, seek emotional help and supported you so much that you will never be able to thank her enough. The reason why today, you are the best student of your college can only be your determination, hard-work and empathy you have developed from your mother. And daughter you make us so proud.

Anne, will you call me “Dad” once again? Will you miss call me at +971 ******* and I shall call you back and you shall know just how much I love you and what you mean to me. I can’t tell you in words how much I miss my people and how much I am looking forward for a new beginning back home, with MY FAMILY.

I love you Anne, may you have a wonderful birthday, and a blessed future. Your father has showered all his blessings to you and pledged to spend all the rest of his life… WITH YOU!!!



John Fernandes, Director and chief Mentor at SPEEDEX mentorship solutions. I would appreciate any feedback on this work. Kindly e-mail studentshelpindia@gmail.com.



By John Fernandes
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Comment on this article

  • Vincent Rodrigues, katapadi/Bangalore

    Wed, Aug 13 2014

    Great letter to the daughter from dad ventilating all the ill feeling and regards towards the daughter.The incidents narrated in the letter are really touching our heart.All the best to both and wish you both become the best father and daughter again.Best of luck.

  • Rose, Mangalore, UAE

    Sat, Aug 09 2014

    Its really a heart touching article. It a must read article for every man. A man has to give priority to his wife & children in life.
    Great article John...

  • John Fernandes, Mangalore

    Fri, Aug 08 2014

    Thx again readers for your feedback. I am glad that I have managed to create the impact that I was looking for. Since I have been asked by a few readers if it is indeed a letter written by daddy to her daughter, I would like to say, I wrote it simulating myself as a devastated father who wanted to make peace and be one with his family again. The fact that it seems real, is a big compliment in itself.
    Thx everyone, hope it was a good read

  • Oliver, Udupi

    Fri, Aug 08 2014

    John,

    I see your point behind the article and it makes sense. The fact that you kept deferring from answering people's question about the letter being a real one was the primary reason I put that comment out there.

    I think it's very thoughtful of you and from people's comment's it looks like your article is working.

    Good job buddy

  • Simon Dsouza, Udupi

    Fri, Aug 08 2014

    I remember a popular saying "You reap exactly what you sow "

    This looks like one of such case.

    Most families who have money do not care for humility and encourage their children to show of, even at the expense of crushing at 'have not s' !!!

    Mother Theresa has said "be humble always, you will not suffer from disgrace, fear or praise"

  • vijay, Mangalore

    Fri, Aug 08 2014

    This letter shows the reflection of life how parents lived !

    This could be a lesson/example for the future parents for a better family life.

    The proverb "history repeats" is very much true even at present times.

  • John Fernandes, Mangalore

    Thu, Aug 07 2014

    Dear oliver

    Thank you for your valuable feedback about this article. The soul purpose of this "soap opera" article is to persuade many parents to try settling off their differences with their children and rebuild their families. It may seem irrelevant to a few "practical" hypocrites out there who don't believe in the institution of family. But since I work closely on such cases, I found that 99% of prospective readers would relate and pick their own message from this letter. If at all you encounter someone who has had such a broken bond with his/her daughter/son, I suggest you copy paste this letter to them to be forwarded to their child and see what magic it does...

  • Rosy Dsouza, Bajpe, Mangalore

    Thu, Aug 07 2014

    A truly eye opening and heart touching article. It relates to every family with young and adorable daughters and caring and doting and a little bit over protective "Dada's".

  • Gladys Mudarth, Mangalore/Canada

    Thu, Aug 07 2014

    Quite an eye opener. No use crying over lost time and opportunities.

  • oliver, Udupi

    Thu, Aug 07 2014

    Great article for people who like watching soap opera's, especially the emotional ones.

    I don't understand the goal behind this article mainly because this is not a real letter sent from a father to his daughter. It would have given the readers a direction to think if you had thrown in a moral or your interpretation of the situation in the end.

    On the whole, Kudos for trying.

  • pauldsouza, balakunje

    Thu, Aug 07 2014

    The pain & hurt of separation of father & daughter, who can know better than me...? Its a very touching article. the hope, love, care all that when you completely depend on, its impossible to digest some time. Some time fathers they remain very unlucky & some time their stars are like that. These things should not happen even with enemies. the relation within father & daughter is pure, holy, respected & beautiful. Fathers can be do any sacrifices for their daughters sake.

  • Dad's Letter to his Anne on her Birthday, dubai

    Wed, Aug 06 2014

    Its a really heart touching article.. Parents give more attention and love to your familys

  • Sylvia Fernandes, Mangalore/Bangalore

    Wed, Aug 06 2014

    There r so many dad's who share the same feeling, but r not being able to find an outlet to their emotions.. John, u have beautifully poured out all that they would wish to say to their daughters.. this article would surely bridge gaps..
    U always make me proud bro ∠

  • Glany Fernandes, Manglaore / Dubai

    Wed, Aug 06 2014

    Beautifully narrated story to reflect what is happening today's world and how to over come the situation pouring out more and more love. Relationships are breaking in today's world either by over pampering or complete negligence,this article is a hope to bridge the gap and accepting each other as they are.

  • Jacintha Texeira , Bikarnakatta

    Wed, Aug 06 2014

    Its a really heart touching article. I hope everything will be alright without any delay
    .

  • Eulalia Dsouza, Bijai / Mangalore

    Wed, Aug 06 2014

    Dear John, it is an amazing article and so much true in today's world which is full of materialistic needs. Our present world parents ( we all may be ) just have some money but just have NO TIME for our children. We have lots of luxury but lack of love to give to our children. So children tend to move towards others who give them semblance of love.
    I wish you good luck in what you are trying to do for our younger generation. God Bless you always.

  • John Fernandes, Mangalore

    Wed, Aug 06 2014

    I humbly wish to thank all you readers for having taken your valuable time to read my work. Plenty of emails have come in and I feel good to have gone through all your comments. Thx everyone for your appreciation... spl thx to Roshal, my pillar of support. God bless

  • DJ, Mangalore / Sydney

    Wed, Aug 06 2014

    An ok article. It's kind of an amateur write up. Still lot of scope for improvement. All the best.

  • Roshal, Mangalore

    Tue, Aug 05 2014

    Awesome John... it was heart-touching.... keep up the gud wrk of enlightening people

  • Ashwini lobo, Mangalore/ Dubai

    Tue, Aug 05 2014

    John,
    Really an awesome article. There is no comparison to ur talent in other fields. But this article will surely bring change in many peoples lives. Keep going👍

  • Ephrem D'Sa, Mangalore/Qatar

    Tue, Aug 05 2014

    Heart melting article, this is the reality in today's modern world. All the best John and keep it up.

  • joyjeevan rai, mangalore

    Tue, Aug 05 2014

    Kudos john.....heart melting indeed

  • Chandini DSouza, Abu Dhabi

    Tue, Aug 05 2014

    It was a good read. I like the way you have also highlighted the daughter's perspective. Good job. You make me proud!

  • Sandhya, Mangalore / Mumbai

    Tue, Aug 05 2014

    Any fool can be a father...but it takes a real man to be a Daddy!...awesome thoughts John...very Heartening...now I wanna know wat inspired you to write! tel me!! tel me!!

  • Rita, Germany

    Tue, Aug 05 2014

    John,A better subject than this as father cant be written.Love between father and daughter is bond which is great described and it is true.A father is more important to a daughter during her period of getting elder.when it is disturbed ,then will be disturbed life Long.A Girl will have faith in her father to protect her and safety.mother gives her love and needed daily tips about health ,care.Father will let the Girl to some extent more freedom to girl than her mother which makes the couple to fight sometime.A Girl will later never Forget her father at old Age to give back what she received.your article is very sensitive and good Chosen.keep up.God bless you.

  • Melita, Mangalore

    Mon, Aug 04 2014

    Young man, from where you got these mature and touchy emotions! I have tears in my eyes as I type these lines. Like Sharmila, I too wish, Anne reciprocates to her dad with as much love.

  • John DSouza, Mangalore/Qatar

    Mon, Aug 04 2014

    Dear John, in our fast flying life of mobile technology, your attention to Dad’s letter to his Anne on her Birthday is really appreciable.
    While enjoying click / touch to reach and deal face to face, remembering the slow and steady postal letter shows your love and respect to elders and ancestors.
    In fact, instead of blindly and strictly following fashion and style for competition and comparison purpose and to face stress and depression, if we try to find some possible errors/mistakes in what we follow, it is possible to solve some of our severe problems.
    Being you are a well talented, active and energetic young leader, it would be better if you take a serious issue/subject for discussion to reach wonderful solutions, which can make a World of Difference.
    Wish you best in your initiative to train, guide and energize the youngsters and hence to build a Peaceful Society and Strong Nation.

  • Sharmila, M'lore/Kuwait

    Mon, Aug 04 2014

    iS IT A REAL LIFE STORY????.. HEART TOUCHING.. Hope Dad will get Anne back soon.. lol


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