Moms: Stay-at-Home vs Working

September 19, 2014

Some mom choose to stay at home and adopt the homemaker role. Others prefer to work outside home. When choosing between staying at home and working outside, moms tend to evaluate what’s best for their families. There can be both undesirable and constructive effects of working mothers on their children. While working moms can teach their children some precious life skills, they can also make the child feel mistreated at times.

Stay-at-Home Moms

Some people have been questioning stay-at-home mothers as what they do at home all day. I know they do free work, often unappreciated work, which starts the moment they wake up, and doesn't even end when they go to sleep. They work on holidays and nighttime, with no end to their day. I know their rewards are happy but few.

Their care is always divided, often distracted from a minute to minute basis, and they cannot ever count on completing a task in the one go. The challenges they deal with daily are usually with no backup. The toddler tantrums, the food battles, the food on the floor, the pastels on the wall, the baby that never seems to stop crying and the sibling rivalry. The work seems continuous - they shop for food, prepare it, cook it, attempt to feed it to their children, clean it off the floor, wash the dishes, and repeat it every four hours.

They want to spend 1 hour for themselves to eat their lunch in peace, or about having an afternoon nap. Sometimes they feel envious of their friends who are going to work.

They are often misjudged by so many who do not appreciate the complications of caring for small children on their own, all day. They also miss their financial independence.Many people do not understand that they work - they simply work, an unpaid job at home.

We should admire their infinite tolerance, their capacity to face each day cheerfully and bring joy into their children's lives even when they wear them down. We should respect their dedication to being a continuous presence in their children's lives even if it isn't always easy and they work without expecting any reward - no promotions, no fame, no salary. They just want their children to feel important and loved.


Working Moms

They are sometimes judged by others for leaving their children in the care of others to work. Some people hint at that they don't love their children as much as stay-at-home moms, and that it's best for children to be at home with their moms. Working moms love their children just as much as any other mother. Going back to work is not an easy decision. It has always been one of the most important decisions of their lives. They have thought about this even while they were studying.

Whenever they get a job offer, they judge as will it suit their family.They wake up an hour before everyone else does, just so they can get some work done or some quiet time. They attend meetings after being up all night with their toddler. They come home, cook dinner, bath children and take studies. They pay the bills, do the grocery shopping, the laundry,the dishes, just like every other mother does.

They feel guilty about having not more time with children and so they sacrifice their leisure time.They can't bring for themselves to take a day off when their children are at daycare. 

They only leave your children in a place where they are confident that they are loved and well looked after. They spend many days caring for children at home when they are sick, and sacrifice their pay. They secretly enjoy these days, and feel happy in being able to be with their children. They feel guilty about not being there all the time. But they setting a wonderful example to their children. They are showing them that a woman can have a job and still be a loving mother. 

A working mom with some sense of satisfaction can serve as a good role model for her kids. Children can get encouraged to pursue their dreams and desire. Moms who efficiently manage work and family can instill good work principle into their kids. With both parents working, each family member has to play a more active role. Raising independent children prepares them for the real world and instructs in them sense of responsibility. Working moms spend quality time with their kids to pay for the amount of time they do not spend together. Kids also look forward to spending time with their parents. They do not take their mother’s attention for granted. The monetary benefits that come with having both parents work, such as going to good schools and pursuing extra-curricular interests can teach a sense of security in kids. Poor-quality day care services can hamper a child’s emotional and social development. Moms might feel over-burdened and weary of trying to balance work and family. If moms bring their frustration home, children could develop a negative attitude. They could notice her work as a source of sorrow for their family.

Moms, in spite of having their kid’s best interests at heart, might fail to provide their kids a safe emotional outlet. They might not be keen to hear their kids’ issues after a hectic day at work. Kids in such cases could choice to finding a channel elsewhere or simply feel that their parents are not interested in their lives. Difficulties can arise between parents over the mother’s employment. Such parental conflict can adversely affect children. It could damage their self-esteem and make them insecure.

A stay at home mom who is unhappy with her life cannot be a positive influence in her kids’ lives. Children of a stay-at-home mom might get used to their mom’s attention round the clock and fail to recognize her efforts.On the other hand, many mothers would find contentment in staying at home with their kids. 

The most important reasons of a child’s development and well-being are the mom’s sense of fulfillment and quality of time spent together. It is the quality of child-rearing that counts and builds a child’s life.





By Supriya Sequeira
To submit your article / poem / short story to Daijiworld, please email it to news@daijiworld.com mentioning 'Article/poem submission for daijiworld' in the subject line. Please note the following:

  • The article / poem / short story should be original and previously unpublished in other websites except in the personal blog of the author. We will cross-check the originality of the article, and if found to be copied from another source in whole or in parts without appropriate acknowledgment, the submission will be rejected.
  • The author of the poem / article / short story should include a brief self-introduction limited to 500 characters and his/her recent picture (optional). Pictures relevant to the article may also be sent (optional), provided they are not bound by copyright. Travelogues should be sent along with relevant pictures not sourced from the Internet. Travelogues without relevant pictures will be rejected.
  • In case of a short story / article, the write-up should be at least one-and-a-half pages in word document in Times New Roman font 12 (or, about 700-800 words). Contributors are requested to keep their write-ups limited to a maximum of four pages. Longer write-ups may be sent in parts to publish in installments. Each installment should be sent within a week of the previous installment. A single poem sent for publication should be at least 3/4th of a page in length. Multiple short poems may be submitted for single publication.
  • All submissions should be in Microsoft Word format or text file. Pictures should not be larger than 1000 pixels in width, and of good resolution. Pictures should be attached separately in the mail and may be numbered if the author wants them to be placed in order.
  • Submission of the article / poem / short story does not automatically entail that it would be published. Daijiworld editors will examine each submission and decide on its acceptance/rejection purely based on merit.
  • Daijiworld reserves the right to edit the submission if necessary for grammar and spelling, without compromising on the author's tone and message.
  • Daijiworld reserves the right to reject submissions without prior notice. Mails/calls on the status of the submission will not be entertained. Contributors are requested to be patient.
  • The article / poem / short story should not be targeted directly or indirectly at any individual/group/community. Daijiworld will not assume responsibility for factual errors in the submission.
  • Once accepted, the article / poem / short story will be published as and when we have space. Publication may take up to four weeks from the date of submission of the write-up, depending on the number of submissions we receive. No author will be published twice in succession or twice within a fortnight.
  • Time-bound articles (example, on Mother's Day) should be sent at least a week in advance. Please specify the occasion as well as the date on which you would like it published while sending the write-up.

Comment on this article

  • flavian dsouza, chik/banaglore

    Wed, Sep 24 2014

    Today we have the third option work from home or freelance which is just few hours work every day at your own pace . You will get paid nominal amounts and next decade we will see a huge opportunities in this area for women. Part time teachers, programmers, nurses,accountants all professions now can use this option . Some of them even do for foreign companies sitting at home .

  • Annie, Moodbidri / Bangalore

    Mon, Sep 22 2014

    Good article. Taken sides of both the 'type' of MOM's. I'm the proud daughter of a previously working MOM (now not working) and have seen many aunts not working outside. Some are not hardworking at home even. They make time to interfere in most of others activities but not for their own children. I have mostly seen such mothers scrounge on their brothers, uncles etc. In this context, it is better to work outside and be a good example to their kids. Now that I'm a working mother (with no maid for house work sometimes), I feel more respect for women who do try to manage the house responsibilities, office tensions etc. Such women can afford to provide some solace to their parents in terms of cash, clothes, etc. In general, both mothers who work outside and those who work only at home deserve respect and understanding but most of all love. Love shown and felt between kids and mom's can just make the day of the MOM. God bless all mother and families.

  • R.Bhandarkar, M'lore

    Mon, Sep 22 2014

    Dear Supriya:
    You may not have had an inkling of the earlier 'Working Mom's. Their features, I will pen down here for you. Alas!They have become almost extinct and some may still prevail in the remotest of villages.
    1. Getting up at 4 a.m.
    2. Cleaning ourtyard of about 1 acre, scrubbing the whole house which is beyond today's sq.ft in measurement by 6 a.m.
    3.Boil water in couldrons for nearly 40 people in the house hold.
    4. Prepare tiffin-breakfast for the above by 6.30 a.m.
    5.Look after the young one's need,
    from waking them up , to feeding,
    bathing and getting them ready for school.
    6. Draw at least 30 buckets of water for gardening and other household purposes.
    7. Direct the home servant (if any)on work matters.
    8. Prepare luncheon for the entire household before noon.
    9.In leisure(!) time look after self needs, take bath, sew clothes, clean up the worship place etc etc..
    10.Wash all utensils..
    11 Evening-coffee time, children coming back..
    12. After 7 p.m, think of dinner ,fresh recipes etc,etc.
    Supriya, all these in the normal course.
    In case of festivities there will be a minimum of 100 people around. So imagine the work load!
    Yours should have a'Moms: stay at
    Home..Now..Then'!
    'Now and Then' Mom's of today can never even think of the workload of Mom's of the very recent past.The working Mom's of the past in 2 weeks would have
    done the work in an entire career of the 'present working mom' every which way! Hope u get the gist.Todays work MoM!!!

  • Rita, Germany

    Mon, Sep 22 2014

    A good article about working mums.One side working moms have less time than others,but that doesnt mean they are not good ones.when they work,they are more balanced than mothers at home.Of course when mother is at home child gets more warm Food at right time,attends home work.But there are instances where mum is working,child feeels more bored at home since parents are working ,they start some mischieves and fall into bad Habits.Many men feel their wives stay at home to look after the children.But nowadays both have to work to meet the financial Ends.so mother has to work even though she want to stay at home.A article to think about.

  • Philipps Morgan, Denver

    Sun, Sep 21 2014

    Nowadays moms have started to work for home thanks to the newly started trend of online jobs. People can apply for those online jobs and start working right from the comfort of their homes. There are many authentic websites available who offer such opportunities

  • lAVINA MATHIAS, UDUPI

    Sat, Sep 20 2014

    Dear Surpiya,

    Very Nice article. Keep it up. God Bless you.

  • Vandana, New Jersey US

    Sat, Sep 20 2014

    So truly captured both the sides.Very true in terms of 'They only leave your children in a place where they are confident that they are loved and well looked after'. As a working mom I can sense each of the words and relate to my feelings. Thank you so much for a worth read

  • ad, mangloor

    Fri, Sep 19 2014

    Remember gods law which is all above human laws and practices.

  • AF, Philadelphia, USA

    Fri, Sep 19 2014

    This a very well written article. As a working mom I can completely relate to the working mom described here. You hit the mark perfectly when you said "They feel guilty about having not more time with children and so they sacrifice their leisure time". Good job!!!

  • JR,

    Fri, Sep 19 2014

    BOTH MOMS HAVE THEIR OWN PROS AND CONS BUT IDEAL MOTHER IRRESPECTIVE OF WORKING OR NOT TAKES CARE OF HER KIDS TO THE POSSIBLE EXTENT AND IT IS UP TO HER TO TAKE HER HUS BEND TO CONFIDENCE TO SHARE WORK LOAD.


Leave a Comment

Title: Moms: Stay-at-Home vs Working



You have 2000 characters left.

Disclaimer:

Please write your correct name and email address. Kindly do not post any personal, abusive, defamatory, infringing, obscene, indecent, discriminatory or unlawful or similar comments. Daijiworld.com will not be responsible for any defamatory message posted under this article.

Please note that sending false messages to insult, defame, intimidate, mislead or deceive people or to intentionally cause public disorder is punishable under law. It is obligatory on Daijiworld to provide the IP address and other details of senders of such comments, to the authority concerned upon request.

Hence, sending offensive comments using daijiworld will be purely at your own risk, and in no way will Daijiworld.com be held responsible.