February 18, 2020
'Suicide is cowardice' is what many a people comment when someone from the community takes a drastic step. A lot of Ifs and Buts are suggested as effective alternatives to the extreme step. Some people even go to the extent of using harsh words against the person who has taken the drastic step. They feel that he/she is unmindful of the lingering pain of the family and dependents.
Certainly suicide is not the answer to any problem. But we need to understand that the extreme circumstances of life can make even a person with indomitable will power to succumb to the pressures of life. It is fairly easy to say he could have done this or that but difficult to reflect and see how we as a community have collectively failed in reaching out to the people in stress and distress.
Different people can take the extreme step of taking off their life for different reasons. A person who is otherwise happy and contended may also take this step if he suffers from the depression syndrome which has nothing to do with his will power or attitude.
Other people may resort to this step when they are overwhelmed by sudden shocks of life such as failures in personal and professional lives and traumatic events such as financial losses, being victims of financial frauds, love failures, emotional torture by family members, or untreatable acute or chronic medical conditions. For example, when a person who has invested all his money has been duped can be feeling hopeless despite having legal options (with our pathetically delayed justice delivery system).
It is a high time we as community and society self-introspect about our words and deeds towards others. Often we tend to cause huge damage to the self-esteem of our dear ones by our insensitive comments such as how come you still have no child despite married for so long, how come you are still not married etc. When a child fails in an important school exam, the very negative attitude of taunting by family, relatives and neighbours pushes the child to take this extreme step.
When a person is suffering from a chronic health condition that cannot be easily treated, family and relatives ask the person a lot of insensitive questions which can further add to the stress of his poor health condition. Some get into the shoes of a doctor or a psychologist in offering advice. Some with their little knowledge (which is dangerous) start labelling people suffering from chronic physical conditions as 'psychological patients'. They fail to understand that the same disease is caused in ten different people for ten different reasons. They even go to the extent of blaming the condition on the negative thinking and attitude of the person. True positive thinking is essential for good health. But when a person is under a lot of suffering due to physical condition if he is blamed for his thinking, it shows our mere insensitivity to the suffering of others and utter lack of empathy on our part.
It is high time we as family and society introspect and try to reduce our judgmental attitude towards people suffering physically or psychologically. Let us not shower advice to them but learn to give an empathetic ear. Let us tell them ‘I can understand what you are going through. We are with you. We are praying for you.’
Let us be rays of hope and not judges!
Final word: Humanity is the greatest religion.