Jul 12, 2010
A Doctor who learns from Patients
There are doctors and there are doctors with a difference. And that is what I found when I had a chance opportunity to meet this 82 year young doctor at his home in Mumbai. Dr Vithal Prabhu, MBBS, FCGP, FIC(USA) a well-known sexologist of Maharashtra, with 30 books (in Marathi) to his credit on sex and health, unmistakably belongs to that rare breed of a ‘doctor with a difference’, for whom serving the ordinary masses is a life mission in which he finds complete satisfaction. He made it his mission to visit his patients in hospitals any time of the day or night unmindful of the distance he had to cover. By doing so he thought that it was the patient who was doing him a favour and not vice versa. He firmly believed that his patients enriched him as he felt that when he visited them he learns from them and feels that it is their experience which helped him in his profession to serve the people better. Dr Prabhu certainly belies the popular notion that being 82 is to be on the wrong side of the age. His indomitable energy and zestfulness, age not withstanding, is just a pointer to the energy the man possesses and his approach towards life.
Now Semi retired from his profession (practicing only one day a week) Dr Prabhu still vouches by his profession and says he can never fully retire from it as other doctors refer cases to him. Writing books with the cardinal motive of enlightening the masses is his soul agenda and he wants to write a book on Human Sexuality in English. He also has plans to put in black and white the experiences of cases he has handled in the last 42 years of his medical practice.
Ever since the first book “Niramay Kaamjeevan” (healthy sex life) Dr Prabhu has written books on every aspect of human sexuality and health aimed at different age groups. “Niramay Kaamjeevan” which was initially refused by publishers due to the taboo associated with sex-related subject sold over 80,000 copies in the first edition and now the book is in its 23rd edition which is an indicator of the popularity of the book which deals with some of the fallacies associated with sex. “The greatest satisfaction I got was when one of the readers telephoned me and confessed that he had overcome the tendency to commit suicide after reading my book which helped him to surmount the guilt feeling he harbored and that he was looking for a bride to get married soon.
I don’t think there is greater satisfaction than the capacity to save people’s lives”, he confesses with true satisfaction writ large on his face. “Our country does not need sophisticated instruments to treat people. What our people need is information and knowledge”, he emphasizes. He realized this bitter truth during his visit to Japan. He felt that Japanese were healthier not because of sophisticated instruments but because people were better informed. This spurred him to write more on sex related topics.
The Trigger Point
In fact Dr Prabhu was a general practitioner who became a sexologist and there was trigger point which prompted him to venture into writing to demolish the taboos and erroneous beliefs associated with sex and help couple lead a satisfactory life. He read about a young girl committing suicide after the first night of her marriage. Due to lack of sexual awareness and lack of sex education the girl was shocked and felt humiliated after the sexual act and committed suicide. Dr Prabhu was greatly touched by the incident and felt the need to spread awareness among people. He realized there was too much ignorance about sex and he came out with his book in the early 80’s and since then Dr Prabhu has come out with a book almost every year. “Sexuality is a science of relationship” says this octogenarian with his wealth of experience on the subject.
And what is the mantra of a successful marriage according to him? “Marriage is for companionship. The reason for the alarming rise in divorce among couples is due to the wrong selection of partners. Before marriage the boy and girl should meet repeatedly in their homes which enable them to understand each other and spend time together without thoughts of sex. These meetings also help the man to understand and meet other members of the family and also understand her upbringing and vice versa”, he opines. He further adds “it is a strange paradox that in our country marriage is considered holy, motherhood is also holy but the act bridging the two is taboo. We have all been conditioned that way, including doctors who are embarrassed to talk about it”.
Though he ventured into writing with a gut feeling he felt he was ignorant about so many aspects of sex and made efforts to learn more before coming out with the book. Many publishers refused to publish the book as it dealt with sex, a subject which was considered as taboo. Finally it was Majestic publications which took the bold decision of publishing the book on a subject which many pretended to loath at least publicly. Dr Prabhu recalls that well known personalities like Jayavant Dalvi and Sachin Tendulkar’s father Ramesh Tendulkar encouraged him to come out with the book when there was opposition from many quarters.
Proving the Astrologer Wrong
Life was always a challenge for Dr Prabhu and he had to work hard to prove his astrologer wrong. Born in Kallamundkur near Moodbidri in 1928 the family had come to Mumbai when Dr Prabhu was hardly six in search of a better prospect. His father was running a hotel in Mumbai and the family had difficult time in leading a hand to mouth existence. The astrologer who saw his horoscope termed him as a “dullard, a scape-grace who would not even pass his SSC”. This horror news spurred him to work harder despite odds against him. It is an irony that the death certificate of this astrologer was issued by Dr Prabhu.
Due to typhoid he wasted two years and then passed SSC going to Morning College and then finished his intermediate with a fairly good percentage. He passed out from King Edward Medical College in 1955 and was faced with the dilemma of knowing whether his personality suited for masses or classes. He chose the first one and rightly so has remained faithful to what he found suits him the best and more so found satisfaction in it. Of course his stint in Rashtriya Seva Dal gave him the initial spur motivating him to serve the society. He has taken inspiration from Dr Raghunath Dhondo Karve (son of the great reformer Keshav Karve), a pioneer in family planning in India, who was his role model.
As Seva Dl activist Prabhu recalls an incident that had left an indelible mark in his life. He was busy distributing some pamphlets when independence movement was at its peak and when police came chasing these youngsters Prabhu along with a few ran and entered a building nearby. As shoot at sight order in force people had closed the doors and Prabhu and others just entered a toilet which was open and bolted it. Though the police gave a few kicks the door did not give in and Prabhu & Co had saved their lives.
Treating Non-consummation Infertility
As a sexologist Dr Prabhu has helped many childless couple to get over the infertility tag without resorting to modern and expensive artificial methods of conceiving. “Non-consummation of marriage is one of the major reasons for infertility”, says Dr Prabhu. For many such couple who had come to him he had prescribed the simple method of the injecting the sperms by the husband with the help of syringe inside the vagina and 28 children have been born with this method, a rare accomplishment considering the cumbersome and expensive methods used by many doctors.
There was a couple from Pune who telephoned him seeking his help for conceiving as the marriage had consummated and the wife conceived in the second month itself by trying this method without even meeting the doctor. Later when the couple came to know that Dr Prabhu was coming to Pune they came to meet him with the baby and he says that gave him immense satisfaction, something that cannot be likened to anything material. Dr Prabhu has also been instrumental in immunizing about 80,000 children for Tetanus since 1968, after he came across of only child of parents dying of Tetanus.
A recipient of numerous awards including the best Literature Award of Maharashtra state three times, Dr Prabhu is the Vice Chairperson of Council of Sex Education & Parenthood-International (CSEP) and Consultant to SECRT (Sex Education Counseling, Research, Therapy) Centre of Family Planning Association of India. Awards or no awards he is bent upon going about his mission with a facetious effervescence, much to the mortification of the younger lot.
His wife Veena, an Ayurvedic doctor has been his source of support in all his endeavors. Dr Veena is the sister of Dr R S Mahale, the famous gynecologist of Mangalore. Veena is a hardcore traveler and likes exploring places. At 80 she plays badminton for an hour everyday to keep herself fit like a fiddle.
The doctor couple are driven by the object of selfless service and are unequivocal in saying money cannot equate the joy they get in serving people being doctors. The couple does feel that money is important up to a certain extent but it should not be the sole criterion of one’s life. One only wished there were more of their ilk in today’s world!
Dr Vithal Prabhu, M B B S, FCGP, F I C (USA)
Sexologist,
Vice President – Council of Sex Education & Parenthood (International)
Tel: (022) 2445 2065.
Mob: 98206 75815 - Email : vithal_prabhu@hotmail.com
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