The Age of 'Hum Do, Hamare Do'

July 25, 2012

Considering the ill effects of the ever-increasing population, and after long years of debate and expert opinions, people finally accepted the idea of family planning, probably not giving a second thought to their own interests.

While I myself vouch for the policy, acknowledging the restrictions of the society at large, I equally miss those good old stories, which my granny used to narrate to us. The amount of fun and pranks she enjoyed in a big family of eight siblings... of course, that is a dream impossible now.

Today, people normally tend to misinterpret. If the couples decided to go for more than two kids, or perhaps the lady is pregnant after a long gap, tongues begin to wag in no time.

 “Contraceptive must have broken!”, “Poor husband (or wife)!”, “Couldn’t they control even at their 'old' age!” and such other other remarks make the rounds. In addition, the ladies (no offence) find an interesting topic for discussion. However, hardly anyone would compliment the love factor between the husband and wife. Are we to criticise their decision?

Apparently, the pressure to avoid having more than two kids seems more significant in the present days. Such stereotypic assumptions are comparatively more in the Christian community. I say this solely based on my knowledge and calculation. The community will forever remain a minority in number, as the desire to have few children has become the eleventh commandment of Christianity.

Taking into consideration the present lifestyle across the country, I have learnt that the attitude to have a small family is endlessly generalized, and the individual differences are neither accepted nor respected. Also, the joy in having more children is completely missing due to this approach of the society.

Ironically, the desire to have more children is comparatively less among the well-to-do than among the poor. It should have been vice-versa, as the rich have greater ability to provide better prospects to the children.

On the other hand, today, having more than two children seems to be a ‘mistake’ or ‘irresistibility’ of the couples. It is certainly not, it is of the course love factor that is dominating the atmosphere.

More important is the psychological trauma that the only child of a parent goes through. In a nuclear family with no companion to share or play with, there is every chance of loneliness creeping in. Siblings are not only the best playmates, but as years go by, they become each other's confidants, advisors, and true companions for life. In the absence of a sibling, there is only the outer world to depend upon for companionship.

Intending no harm to the agenda of the Ministry of Health and Family Welfare, I would say that a big family is always more fun and the noise is pleasant. Small families even though they  have some merits in themselves, in the long run, the caring and sharing attitude decreases day by day.

As American actor Trey Parker said, "I think people that have a brother or sister don't realize how lucky they are. Sure, they fight a lot, but to know that there's always somebody there, somebody that's family."

 

Naveen Menezes Archives:


 

By Naveen Menezes Gurpur
To submit your article / poem / short story to Daijiworld, please email it to news@daijiworld.com mentioning 'Article/poem submission for daijiworld' in the subject line. Please note the following:

  • The article / poem / short story should be original and previously unpublished in other websites except in the personal blog of the author. We will cross-check the originality of the article, and if found to be copied from another source in whole or in parts without appropriate acknowledgment, the submission will be rejected.
  • The author of the poem / article / short story should include a brief self-introduction limited to 500 characters and his/her recent picture (optional). Pictures relevant to the article may also be sent (optional), provided they are not bound by copyright. Travelogues should be sent along with relevant pictures not sourced from the Internet. Travelogues without relevant pictures will be rejected.
  • In case of a short story / article, the write-up should be at least one-and-a-half pages in word document in Times New Roman font 12 (or, about 700-800 words). Contributors are requested to keep their write-ups limited to a maximum of four pages. Longer write-ups may be sent in parts to publish in installments. Each installment should be sent within a week of the previous installment. A single poem sent for publication should be at least 3/4th of a page in length. Multiple short poems may be submitted for single publication.
  • All submissions should be in Microsoft Word format or text file. Pictures should not be larger than 1000 pixels in width, and of good resolution. Pictures should be attached separately in the mail and may be numbered if the author wants them to be placed in order.
  • Submission of the article / poem / short story does not automatically entail that it would be published. Daijiworld editors will examine each submission and decide on its acceptance/rejection purely based on merit.
  • Daijiworld reserves the right to edit the submission if necessary for grammar and spelling, without compromising on the author's tone and message.
  • Daijiworld reserves the right to reject submissions without prior notice. Mails/calls on the status of the submission will not be entertained. Contributors are requested to be patient.
  • The article / poem / short story should not be targeted directly or indirectly at any individual/group/community. Daijiworld will not assume responsibility for factual errors in the submission.
  • Once accepted, the article / poem / short story will be published as and when we have space. Publication may take up to four weeks from the date of submission of the write-up, depending on the number of submissions we receive. No author will be published twice in succession or twice within a fortnight.
  • Time-bound articles (example, on Mother's Day) should be sent at least a week in advance. Please specify the occasion as well as the date on which you would like it published while sending the write-up.

Comment on this article

  • Arul Mark Cutinha, Mangalore/Bangalore

    Wed, Aug 22 2012

    Married couples should not face restrictions from the government limiting the no. of children they should have like it has sadly happened in China(one child policy) and some other nations since our marriage vows tell us to accept all the children that God gifts us with.There is no need to worry about whether parents are able to provide for many children they have or whether the earth will face environmental problems as a result of increased population since WE CAN DEPEND ON GOD'S PROVIDENCE since according to our constitution we have the right to live as our religion permits us to SINCE IT'S BETTER TO PLEASE GOD THAN TO PLEASE OTHERS.(1)If all married couples have only one child the world's population will decrease.(2)If they've two children population remains almost constant.(3)If they've three or more children population will increase.Hence to fill the earth and subdue it as given in the bible let's've at least three children if not more.

  • Sam Dcruz, Mangalore/Adelaide

    Tue, Aug 07 2012

    This same thinking would have been valid if it was 50 years ago. But now, with the population that India has, it is better to restrict to two children itself. Nowadays, resources are becoming less and the population is more and supply is highly less compared to the demand. If at all people still want to have big families, I'd suggest people to go and adopt the orphan kids in the orphanages rather than produce more kids and burden this mother earth. There are so many kids out there in need of a family.

  • jacintha furtado, mangalore/ireland

    Tue, Aug 07 2012

    very nice article.I fully agree with you. I am rearing 3 kids now. but as U mentioned in your article when I was expecting the third one lots of people commented like"being educated you did this".Its so much hurting. I am leading very happy family with 3 kids around.And its so nice to see them . keep it up. your article is well appreciated.

  • Vivek, Canara

    Mon, Aug 06 2012

    Quality of the population is also very important. its alarming that the number population is increasing around economiically poor

  • Thomas, Dubai

    Sun, Aug 05 2012

    Nice article Naveen.....Keep writing. Look forward to read more interesting articles of yours.

  • Bro.Philip Noronha csc, Moodubelle/ Salem

    Fri, Aug 03 2012

    Very well said. I fully agree with you. Its great to have big family. We ARE six in the family, a volley ball team. The joy and fun we had in spite of the economic poverty nothing in compare to the brotherhood we shared. Its just great to have brothers and sisters.

  • Rupesh , Mangalore

    Tue, Jul 31 2012

    Very nice article.Now the parents simple worries abour childern future. Because they don't belive in God.Our parents have not provided us any wealth. The only wealth is education they provided. Earlier parents had faith in God and faith in what they do. We too family of 5 children. We enjoyed lot.

  • Ajith Dsouza, Udupi

    Mon, Jul 30 2012

    Wonderful Article Naveen woven together taking into account the complexities of nuclear families. Keep coming with these type of articles. All the best.

  • Vinisha, Mangalore

    Sat, Jul 28 2012

    Good going Naveeen !! :)

  • Edmond - Medical Journalist, IFMSA - INDIA, Mangalore

    Sat, Jul 28 2012

    Good one Naveen. best always

  • R.Bhandarkar., M

    Fri, Jul 27 2012

    Don't need your nod Mr. Vinod-Keep it to yourself and for starters try distinguishing between 'observations' n comments.
    Also ask questions before jumping into conclusions...It helps one grow....in the real sense...

  • Babita, UAE

    Fri, Jul 27 2012

    Lovely article. Good message. All the very best.

  • Mrs. A.F.D'Souza, Kundapur/Mumbai,

    Fri, Jul 27 2012

    I fully endorse Meena's experience. Many of my friends and colleagues who were single child to their parents vouch for having two children of their own. If a child asks to its parents for a companion to play, study, discuss etc. at its home. Then parents realise the need and sometimes it is too late also. "Naveen" observation by NAVEEN.

  • Age of 'Hum do', Joe Saldanha - Santhekatte

    Fri, Jul 27 2012

    Well analized and mature article.

  • Tony , Mangalore

    Fri, Jul 27 2012

    Two is a company and three is a crowd, as the old saying goes. So, not more than two please, especially when the country is massively over populated presently. Thank you.

    This advice is coming from a person who had a large number of siblings, which was quite common in those granny years, and in spite of his family`s fairly sound economic background and support, he had to struggle throughout his life in his growing up years to make the ends meet.

    My number of nieces and nephews will support my statement canvassing for the small family, who are leading a fairly comfortable life, mainly because they are having a small family, viz. one or two children.

    Moreover, I myself have two children, and mainly because of the small family size, me and my family are having a comfortable living.

    So, if anyone wants more company and friends, look in your neighbourhood, or in the School, or at one`s work place. Moreover, these days you have the mass communication outlets like TV, internet and web surfing, facebook, twitter, to name a few, where one can find plenty of friends and entertainment.

    An interesting article by Naveen though, on an important issue, namely, containing population, which has great merits in Indian context, and should seriously considered by everyone.

  • Vinod , Mangalore

    Thu, Jul 26 2012

    useless comments Mr. R.Bhandarkar.

    Naveen,
    I agree more kids is more company any time.. Somebody to fall back upon in times of need.
    But more than just more siblings for company the relationships matters..
    We are a big family and I cant thank Jesus enough for blessing me the big family.. We had worst bad financial times but we have ensured we have many more good times..

  • anita britto, Bombay /Auckland

    Thu, Jul 26 2012

    Enjoyed reading your observations , Naveen.Very interesting.I felt pretty much like you did when Granny used to tell me about growing up in a family with 8 sibblings.Read your "Footsteps" poem as well - you've got a nice original style of writing. Hope to read more of your articles.Best wishes.

  • Clara Fernandes, Mangalore

    Thu, Jul 26 2012

    when you have more than two children like stated in the article herebaove, the child will work hard herself/himself to achieve their goals and less burden to the parents. When you have hum dho hamare dho, our dho's will not understand woes and foes. There will only be WANTS and no Goals.

    Excellent writing.

  • zeena, paladka

    Thu, Jul 26 2012

    Good thoughts!

  • pushpa, mangalore

    Thu, Jul 26 2012

    Good thought Naveen,teasing has become the part of life today for you do good or bad.Its the misconception of providing children with wealth, money and education in future bothers parents than the love and joy one recieves which strenthens their relationship today .

  • R.Bhandarkar., M

    Thu, Jul 26 2012

    Eight siblings-A dream impossible
    now- why? Anyone can try !
    'Contraceptive must be broken'-Still tickles my funny bone, impossible to stop laughing ! naveen in days of yore, these were not discovered, maybe I say maybe one of the causes for your 'eight siblings' Kaale Monthai?
    The concluding sentence of the story is a 'stunner' to be remembered always.....

  • Jyothi Furtado, Barkur/USA

    Thu, Jul 26 2012

    Naveen nice article...Keep it up!!

  • Pramod Naik, Dhenkanal / Kundapura

    Wed, Jul 25 2012

    This child control policy must be only for muslims.Hindus and christians have already controlled their populations!

  • Daniel A Pinto, Gurpur, Mangalore / Bahrain

    Wed, Jul 25 2012

    Good one bro !!! well written !!!

  • ziad, gurpur

    Wed, Jul 25 2012

    nice thought... when poet(Naveen) become writer?

  • Nancy, Belman

    Wed, Jul 25 2012

    Yes, Big family is always good. but by looking at present situation, I am always thinking "What will be future of my children"?

    Experiencing about the present imbalance in weather, humanity, constantly increasing prices makes one to think whether to have one child 2 children or none.

    But if anyone wants have more than 2 children, society should not tease them or insult them.

  • Rakesh Dsouza, Mangalore, Dubai

    Wed, Jul 25 2012

    Very good thought Naveen..As you said one cannot compare the fun of a big family with the merits of nuclear family...keep it up..All the best.

  • Adrash Raj Crasta, Sullia/Bangalore

    Wed, Jul 25 2012

    Nice one dude!!!!!

  • GM, Mangalore

    Wed, Jul 25 2012

    Good Article Naveen.Keep it up..All the Best..

  • William, Mangalore

    Wed, Jul 25 2012

    I am deeply touched by Meena's comments.

  • aysha, mangalore

    Wed, Jul 25 2012

    good one!!!

  • Meena , Mangalore

    Wed, Jul 25 2012

    I am the only child for my parents. The childhood memories that I have are just about being lonely,with limited people to talk to,as both my parents were working.They would come home tired and they had to finish other household duties in evening,and the time we spent as a family together was very limited.I loved to be with people I also enjoyed the noise and confusion that happened in large families and longed to be a part of it.In school I was very a chatter box because that was were I could talk to children my age . But I was branded by my teachers that I could never keep my mouth closed. But now I am a happy person as I am married to a large family and I see my kids are having such a great time when we all meet together. In a way i am living my childhood again.
    Yes in todays world a nuclear family is good, but the joy of having a large family cannot be matched to anything else.

  • Anonymous,

    Wed, Jul 25 2012

    More than providing children with wealt, money and gold, the time has also come to giving a thought about providing them with good water, air and environment, the failing seasons have also failed some thinkers like me to have children at all. beind pessimest is better than being false optimist,just thinking some one somewhere will set things right.

  • Kiran, Mangalore

    Wed, Jul 25 2012

    Well written Naveen. Doing great work. Best of luck ..

  • Ashwin Aranha, Mangalore/ Dubai

    Wed, Jul 25 2012

    Good Job ! Good source of thoughts !

  • Vishanz Pinto, Puttur

    Wed, Jul 25 2012

    Naveen, good thoughts of course. somekind of an analysis. Keep it up.All the best.


Leave a Comment

Title: The Age of 'Hum Do, Hamare Do'



You have 2000 characters left.

Disclaimer:

Please write your correct name and email address. Kindly do not post any personal, abusive, defamatory, infringing, obscene, indecent, discriminatory or unlawful or similar comments. Daijiworld.com will not be responsible for any defamatory message posted under this article.

Please note that sending false messages to insult, defame, intimidate, mislead or deceive people or to intentionally cause public disorder is punishable under law. It is obligatory on Daijiworld to provide the IP address and other details of senders of such comments, to the authority concerned upon request.

Hence, sending offensive comments using daijiworld will be purely at your own risk, and in no way will Daijiworld.com be held responsible.