That Empty Space in Your Heart...

August 18, 2012

When you sit at the shores of those never ending mighty oceans of life with depression masked on your face, recalling those moments when your eyes first met that stranger, looking at whom the two little imaginary eyes within your heart unknowingly blinked, whose hand you held for the very first time to walk a mile and dreamt of a happiest future; whose happiness, joy, sorrows, pain, pleasure, and all other human emotions affected yours and between all these episodes of smooth moving life, one fine day you experience an uninvited betrayal, a most devastating experience ever. Your heart abruptly prompts you that you were never wrong, you never cheated on your partner and had a disastrous breakup. It was this very shore wherein you sat together and tried to figure out which was the last wave heading towards you among the series of waves coming your way. and today you realise that the space beside you is empty and all that you want to do now is search for someone who would now cover up the void regardless of what the person might be.

*****************************
 
Leaving the artistic explanation aside, all I want to emphasize is the fact that today youngsters are just eager to have someone who  could pose as their strong emotional support in life. They are not self-dependent when it comes to their handling their own emotions but are unknowingly dependent on another. That's the reason why most of the times after a breakup we usually find girls or guys in quest of someone who they could rely upon for their emotions or who could fill the space of their ex.

Loneliness and a broken heart haunts them after their breakups. Their mental status at this point is in such a pathetic trance that they are unaware of the choice they are making, they are not patient enough to see through the person. "Good or bad" is not the issue."He/She is the one who is filling the empty space in my life" is the only thing that matters to them and in turn it becomes the greatest happiness at that moment.

This is the reason why we find most of the youngsters going about with a new girlfriend or a boyfriend within a few months of their breakup. They do not give themselves time to pause for a moment and analyse "Is this the right choice I am making?","What exactly do I want from the relationship" or, "Am I now mentally stable to move on with a new relationship?" or "Is he/she is a promising partner for me?" There is absolutely no room for such questions in the mind of a broken heart as it is then emotionally weak. This pattern repeats non-stop for every partner coming into one's life, all ending up with more and more hampering of feelings, emotionally murdering the very concept of "LOVE".

A crane will never lift a mighty weight if it is made out of thermocol. All I mean is, your heart will never able to stabilise and start with new realtionships in life, until and unless it is strong as iron. And in order to make it strong, you need to give yourself enough time after a breakup, so that the same patterns of betrayal, breakups, devastation and depression do not occur again.

"Dont be hasty!!" is the most common piece of advice you see on the traffic signs on roads. The same applies to one's life as well. You never know when you may land up meeting with unexpected accidents in life's journey, leaving behind incurable wounds in your heart.

 

 

By Roshani Upasna
Roshani Upasna has completed her BCA from St Aloysius College, Mangalore, and plans to do her MCA from AIMIT, Beeri. Penning down her taughts is her passion. Besides her interest in computers, she writes poems, articles and also paints.
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Comment on this article

  • Pradeep .K. Naik, Goa

    Sat, Oct 06 2012

    Nice article... Thoughts were from the heart thats what makes it so true... But what i would advice or say is relationships at this stages are all infatuated nothing more(18-21).. But i completely agree to you views Roshni.. Keep writing..:)

  • Carol , Valencia

    Fri, Aug 31 2012

    Really nice..keep going..God bless

  • Roshan Monteiro, Manjeshwar/Kuwait

    Thu, Aug 30 2012

    Well Appreciated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Good Luck

  • Roshan , Mangalore

    Thu, Aug 30 2012

    "Love" such a beautiful word n the way u expressed it is just awesome.. the words u ve come up with.. really nice.. :)
    N its something every youngster should know.. getting luv n giving luv is never easy.. :)
    Great work Roshni :P

  • Lavitha Monisha Pereira, Mumbai,IITB

    Mon, Aug 27 2012

    Good Article.. n excellent summarization about 'Love' in Present 'Trendy world'.
    Most of the Youths are confused 'Emotional Dependence' as 'Love', diminishing its true meaning..
    But finally only selfless love can get rid of these problems(Heart aches) and cures.
    'We get back what we reflect' so 'Love unconditionally to get it back':)

  • faizal faiji, Katipalla

    Sat, Aug 25 2012

    superb article. it will teach good lesson to youngsters like us. any way thanks to Roshani upasna.

    keep smiling

  • deepthi, mangalore

    Fri, Aug 24 2012

    its true...

  • darren pinto, udupi

    Fri, Aug 24 2012

    you're are very much right. this is meaningful. good advice to take it.

  • Benedict Noronha, Udupi

    Fri, Aug 24 2012

    I liked the viieiws/ emotions expressed by the writer. Life without emotions are like food without salt. The thoughts are well shared. Young thinker,Roshani, keep writing, nay, shine, but not be over emotionsal. Feel bold and be beautiful. good luck.

  • Melwyn D'Souza, Udupi, B'lor

    Thu, Aug 23 2012

    You have great knowledge Roshani. Thanks for publishing it. May be hard to apply in real life, but, more than enough to create awareness. For you it may be a simple writing. But, this is a lesson for those who got hurted by their loved ones and looking forward for new partner.

  • VEERAPPA. D.N., MADIKERI

    Thu, Aug 23 2012

    Sea Tides which hit the shores, just wants to convey a message to the onlooker that this life is hollow and meaningless, because my tides have been hitting this shores endlessly since last crores of years but without any purpose.

  • Naveen (baba), Mangalore

    Wed, Aug 22 2012

    I appreciate you're article, and the way you summed it up Ms
    Upasna. No matter, how much of advise is given to the youngsters, end of the day, they blindly fall for someone. Every youngster like you (Upasna) and me carry an idea to stand for our own principles, however, in the due course, we (generally) end up saying love is blind, and choose wrong person. It is the stage (especially teenage), where we assume that we found, the love of my life, without considering the opinion of parents. So I feel "LOVE" beats all the advises.

  • Vinod , Mangalore

    Wed, Aug 22 2012

    In todays momentary world all younsters want someone to lean on..be dependent on... Why is it??
    Why each one cannot be strong enough to be able to take care of them and their family..
    Its so strange that all are in a desperate wait for "that special someone" who they think will be their support.
    I believe that until and unless you yourself be your strongest support nobody else will be able to support you.. When in a relation we tend to give extraodinary and tremendous value to the other person losing our own selfworth.. This is the cause for destruction of any precious relation.. I have learnd it the hard way... and told myself "The most important person in my life is me" and then I saw that my life improved so much...So young gen please value yourself more but make sure it does not reach your ego.

  • R.Bhandarkar., M

    Tue, Aug 21 2012

    What she means is do 'UPASANA' if you are caught on the wrong foot once,till you get the right guy or gal-Right Upasna? N going by the reactions here, many have been caught on the wrong foot!This is okay-It isn't 'far fetched', it means you will have to be prepared to go 'far' to 'fetch' the right person....This in the age of 'Hum-Do-Hamara Ek', where choices have become that much restricted and 'two-timing' has become the order of the day-what say?. In our times of 'Hum Do- Hamare Baarah' this was never the case
    because 'beauty' was available in plenty ! There was also 'rare quality' to choose from- We did not do much 'Upasana' then-(Upasana here has the meaning of 'Penance')...Thank me if my assessment is correct dear...With the kind of pose and photograph
    here(I am credited with having a keen eye- Ask Daiji) that 'empty space'in your heart will not remain lke that for long...God bless!

  • naveen pinto, mangalore

    Tue, Aug 21 2012

    very nice n suprb article roshni... keep it up...may the god bless you..

  • Fr Harry Pereira, Bangalore

    Tue, Aug 21 2012

    A good piece of writing which will be consoling persons who have suffered betrayal, breakups, devastation and depression. Keep writing.

  • Suni , Hosabettu

    Tue, Aug 21 2012

    good article roshani...really i like this article.....keep it up.....

  • Premalatha Shetty, Mangalore

    Tue, Aug 21 2012

    Congrats Putta! Keep it up. YOu have penned Really beautiful and meaningful words.May GOd BLess YOu. Keep Writing.

  • josheela lobo, Mangalore

    Tue, Aug 21 2012

    Toooooooo Gudddddd........ & very true...

  • Ambika, Mangalore

    Mon, Aug 20 2012

    WONDERFUL!!!
    gr8 lines by a lovely gal who's words inspire all of us :) Keep going.. Have a great LIFE :)

  • SHEHZAN, MANGALORE/ SHARJAH,UAE

    Mon, Aug 20 2012

    AWESOME..!! Its glad to tell u that u have analysed the present scenario running in the hearts of youngsters..!! To make it in a clear and consized thought amd to cover all feelings and describing it, you hav done a great job..!! Do not stop this attitude carry on..!! All the best..!!

  • Roshani upasna, mangalore

    Mon, Aug 20 2012

    a heartfelt thnks to all d daiji readers,my wel wishers,my teachers,best friends,classmates,neighbours and everyone for their blessings and wishes.would keep the good work going .thnku once again to every individual .

  • Veera Frank, valencia

    Mon, Aug 20 2012


    very nice article. Keep it up!God Bless you.

  • Bhavya kamath , Mangalore

    Mon, Aug 20 2012

    I'm extremely proud of my friend upasana! this is a wonderful piece of writing, with an emphasis on what is happening among youngsters these days. and telling about upasana, she has been my classmate and friend,she is an enthusiastic, extremely talented and cheerful girl. I wish her great success in her future aspects and I request her to keep writing.

  • M.SHAMEEM ANSARI, BANGALORE

    Mon, Aug 20 2012

    DEAR ROSHANI UPASANA AMAZING ARTICLE.MIND BLOWING WORDS.
    ''WORDS'' & ''HEARTS''SHOULD BE HANDLED CAREFULLY.. BCAUSE 'WORDS'
    WHEN 'SPOKEN' & 'HEARTS' WHEN BROKEN..ARE HARDEST THINGS TO REPAIR.
    AND ONE MORE THING I WILL WRITE HERE.
    A BABY FISH ASKED HER MOTHER: WHY CAN'T WE LIVE ON EARTH?
    MOTHER FISH: EARTH IS NOT PLACE FOR FISH, IT'S MADE FOR SELFISH!
    WISH U BEST OF LUCK UPASANA AND KEEP IT UP.

  • Pearl D'Souza, mangalore

    Sun, Aug 19 2012

    Very nice roshni and soo soo true.. applies to all present youngsters.. congrats well done and keep writing some more articles. you will definately excel in life.. you can reach heights with your artistic and creative thoughts.. god bless you..

  • Dechu, Mangalore

    Sun, Aug 19 2012

    "Dont be hasty!!"...how wonderfully said Rosh...i've known you as a wonderful person...today i get to see the same wonderfulness in your writing...U have always wanted a change in the society and as the saying goes "Pen is mightier than the sword"...u have chosen the best way to bring about a change in the society.I wish all the youngsters read this wonderful peice of literature...keep writing dear...wishing u lifes best...

  • Prakash Rego, Mangalore

    Sun, Aug 19 2012

    A nice write up about the true aspects of life. Keep it up.

  • Candle, Mangalore

    Sun, Aug 19 2012

    Article about broken heart is very nice.Thinking of changing partner is like musical chair you never know when you will miss the chair.Your article beautifully explains the dangerous outcome of changing partners.Keep writing,looking forward to read more.

  • Saleem Javed, Manipal

    Sun, Aug 19 2012

    Wonderful article this . Keep up ur good work . :)

  • Sr.Wilma Pinto, Sakleshpur/ Mangalore/EX-GEROSIAN

    Sun, Aug 19 2012

    Dear Roshani, Congrats!!! Excellent! I am proud of you as my student.... You have brillent future.. be a passionate writer & inspire the young generation by your thought provoking articles. God bless you.

  • Sr.Wilma Pinto, Sakleshpur/ Mangalore/EX-GEROSIAN

    Sun, Aug 19 2012

    Dear Roshani,congrats!!! EXCELLENT!I am proud of my student, who is able to write so beautiful & inspiring article. Wish you all the best. Be a passionate writer of such thought provoking articles in the days to come. May God bless you.

  • ROBOT KEM, INDIA

    Sun, Aug 19 2012

    Well written article, Ms. Upasna.
    This fist size HEART maintains the complete human being.
    I wish younger generation should read this article, but they are all busy with FB, Twitter, and so on. Ms. Upasna why don't you post some of the phrases on FB & Twitter??
    All The Best...

  • Anish, Mangalore /afg

    Sun, Aug 19 2012

    Short and sweetrealy good...keep it up Roshni

  • wilson, kinnigoli

    Sun, Aug 19 2012

    nice one.. very true...

  • Mable, Mumbai

    Sat, Aug 18 2012

    EXCELLENT... KEEP IT UP!!!

  • Arun, Mangalore/Muscat

    Sat, Aug 18 2012

    Though short article but its fact of life, do continue writing and all the best.

  • Raj, Mangalore/Dubai

    Sat, Aug 18 2012

    Excellent..

  • Udaya Kumar Shetty, Kottara Chowki, Mangalore

    Sat, Aug 18 2012

    Really very good article infact a very good lesson for those who lost their true love..I think this "Upasana" (Sitting near)from Roshani Upasna... "Dont be hasty" is a good word chosen by her... very touching article roshani... god bless you...

  • Vishal, Mangalore/Dubai

    Sat, Aug 18 2012

    Dear Ms.Roshani Upasna,What u have written it was true.Here Boys/Girls are finding love once they loose thier love.But actual reason if boys lost thier love only he will share wid gal. So she will so concern to listen his story.then he will start to love same gal who was concern to him.

  • alban lewis, Kallianpur/bangalore

    Sat, Aug 18 2012

    very well said Miss Upasna
    Your write up should be read by young people and take the advise,
    NOT TO BE HASTY.

  • Prasad, Mangalore/W.Africa

    Sat, Aug 18 2012

    Short and Sweet. A very nice article and good advise to the present generations.


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