An Honest Reply by a Husband

November 28, 2022

I once went to a party with my wife. It was a struggle to convince my wife, she refused a couple of times saying she was sick, she was tired and finally, she came out with the truth saying she did not have the right kind of clothes to wear. After convincing her and assuring her that she would look good in whatever she wore, she agreed.

That evening she selected a black long gown; she always wore black. I knew why.

She brushed her short hair and clipped it from behind. Applied a thin layer of cream and some lipstick and looked at the mirror, but without smiling, she walked beside me and sat quietly.

The party was an extravagant affair, the room was filled with a vivacious and happy crowd and all swaying to the beats of music. Exchanging the initial greetings, I found my gang, and leaving my wife behind I ran to join them. She sat in a corner, with a little wine in hand. After a couple of minutes, I glanced around to see her, she was busy chatting with a lady and I was happy she had found her company.

I continued the conversation with my friends and just then my best friend passed a rather sad remark. He looked at me, looked over at my wife, and said, what a pair. I knew he was sarcastic, but I chose to ignore him. He continued and asked me, how I was able to live with her, he told me you are tall, fair, and handsome, and look at her she is chubby, fat, and hardly pretty. He told me I still had time and that I could rethink my decision and choose someone pretty and fine.

I knew I could ignore him, but this time I had to speak up and bare my heart.

I gently replied to him:

Yes, sometimes I wish she was tender and slim. Sometimes my mind wanders away when I look at a pretty woman passing by, but I have tried a million times to convince my heart but it always chooses my wife again and again.

Every morning when I wake up to the smell of the brewing coffee and the aromatic breakfast, I don’t look at my wife’s figure or face, but I admire her patience and care.

Every morning, when she struggles and juggles to cook lunch for me and packs my tiffin, and rushes to work, I don’t admire the size of her waist, but I stand in awe of her dedication and her utmost grace.

Every evening when I come home, when I see the welcoming smile on her face, I forget all my pains and remember I have someone and no matter what I do, those efforts will never go in vain.

Every evening when I enjoy the sumptuous dinner prepared by her, I don’t usually stare at her bust but wander at the genuine efforts she puts in, every time she cooks a meal.

When I crash on the sofa and look around to find a neat and clean kept home, I don’t think about her slender legs but thank her for her hard-working nature and her trait of cleanliness.

When I am sick and tired, she wakes up every hour to check on me and comfort me. Then, I am not looking for a well-dressed model, but I am looking for her tender arms to wrap me around and give me warmth.

When at work I am dejected and my efforts seem to not bear any fruit, I am not looking for a night of hot sex. I am relieved and pumped when she listens to me patiently, comforts me, and assures me that my efforts shall never go waste.

When I wanted to pursue my hobbies and no one encouraged me when I felt lost in the crowd, my eyes did not search for a girl with a perfect jawline but searched for her tender face. Her motivation and push made me climb the ladder and try out even though in the past I failed.

When she treats my family like her own when she goes out of her way to help those in need and share. I do not worry about her curves but I thank the ones who raised her teaching her the morals of love and care.

When she pursues her hobbies relentlessly and makes a name for herself, I don’t sit and admire her well-shaped fingernails or well-kept hair. I stand and clap for her determination and amazing talent.

When she cracks her dumb jokes and makes me laugh when she passes her hand through my hair and caresses me when she sings loudly and cheers me up, when she sighs even at my slightest frown, that’s when I know she is the one.

At the end of the day, when we kneel down to pray. When we hold hands and dedicate our lives to the one above, that’s when I remember every day the vows.

I continued to tell him

The women you ridicule saying fat was not so before. The circumstances and the situations have made her so.
She is trying her best.
But however, she is, she is best.

Her body may or may not change
But what will not change is her heart.
Her perfect smile, her innocent look, and her tantalizing personality.
Her emotional stability to bear what come may,
Her spiritual ability to deal with everything with grace.
Her humility and simplicity are rare.

Her body may not be a perfect ten
But her attitude and personality are like none.

She is my wife, the one I adore
She is the woman, the mother of my children.
She is mine
Forever only mine.

Saying this, I looked at him and smiled.

I got up and walked towards my lovely wife. I held her close and planted a soft kiss on her cheek and strode away proudly. This time she walked beside me, with a few tears in her eyes and a bright smile.

 

From the archives:

 

 

By Sonal Lobo
Sonal Lobo, born and bought up in Bengaluru, is a post graduate in commerce from Christ University, Bengaluru. She has been writing from the age of 10. Her writings have been published in in a number of publications of repute. She has published three books 'Thoughts Sublime' and 'Whistling Words' both collection of poems and a children's book titled "Seven Stones" and also contributed in various anthologies. Currently she is working as a HR in Bengaluru. You can reach her at sonal_chocolate@yahoo.co.in
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Comment on this article

  • Amrin, Dubai

    Fri, Dec 02 2022

    Beautiful journey of emotions through this read.. what a lovely reminder for the women that they play very important roles. Sometimes there isn’t much to account for by end of day except for a well-functioning, clean home that requires plenty behind the scenes.

  • Dr. Austin Prabhu, Nantur/Chicago

    Thu, Dec 01 2022

    Super write-up Sonal! You really know how to put life actions into writings with your sweet thoughts!! Keep on writing.

  • Gladlin, Mangalore

    Wed, Nov 30 2022

    Amazing piece of writing , great job🙌

  • Lisha, Mangalore

    Wed, Nov 30 2022

    Beautifully written 😍loved it😍❤️

  • Lisha, Mangalore

    Wed, Nov 30 2022

    Beautifully written 😍loved it.. ❤️😍

  • Josvita, Manglore

    Wed, Nov 30 2022

    Love the wordings. Well written 😊😍

  • Sonal Lobo, Bangalore

    Wed, Nov 30 2022

    Hi Preethi. Thank you for the wonderful comment and also apologies for making you feel that the write up is focussed on potraying women has a domestic goddess rather than a all rounder. Well not to argue or justify, this post is mainly focused on body shaming and secondly it's written from the perspective of a man. Many a times society judges a man, claiming that he fails to appreciate his wife's true beauty and wanders away which is not always true. This is more of a gratitude post from a husband to his wife. Yes, women are not just confined to serve husband and children agreeing on this aspect I also would want to add on, women play multiple roles along with managing a career you cannot deny the fact that a woman manages her house and raises her children meticulously. This post focuses on her many efforts in the home front and a husband's sincere effort to thank her for her sacrifice. Taking you suggestion I shall definitely focus more on other aspects of woman rather than that of just being a mom or wife.

  • Preethi, Mumbai

    Wed, Nov 30 2022

    Well written. But I am disappointed with the view that indicates women are here to serve husband and care kids. Women are much more than performing the role of wife or mother. So romantiising roles defined by the society is not good approach.

  • Geeta Domingo, Bengaluru

    Tue, Nov 29 2022

    Beautifully written Sonal.Most of the times instead of enquiring how the other person is people pass remarks on how fat or thin one has become not even knowing the mental or physical changes the other person might be going through. You touch hearts with these short snippets and subtly sow seeds for thought. More power to you girl. Keep going🥰

  • Priya Maria, UAE/Bangalore

    Tue, Nov 29 2022

    Lovely. I see a lot of women centric articles, it's nice to see an article centered around man written by a woman author. I strongly believe there are a lot of wonderful men around us, who truly deserve a round of applause and appreciation. Beautiful post.

  • Gracy, Bangalore

    Tue, Nov 29 2022

    Lovely write up. I strongly believe, every women must understand that however they are they are beautiful. The pain, the struggle they go through is unmatchable, and such women need no validation from anyone. I can picture myself perfectly in the role of wife, I was constantly ridiculed for my tall stature, well built psychique and boyish looks. I had to face constant backlash from my parent in laws and family, but that did not deter me and I had a very supportive and encouraging husband. Today, I teach my daughter's not to be upset if they do not fit the bill of so called worldy beauty standards. Thank you dear Sonal , for a lovely write up. I just forwarded it to my husband stating that this is exactly what I wanted to tell him and thanked him. I have started reading your other articles too, must say I am impressed by the clarity of your thoughts, simplicity and a special style of writing. Keep up the good work my dear. Hope to see you as person .

  • Roshan, Mangaluru Bengaluru

    Tue, Nov 29 2022

    👌👌👌❤️

  • Usha Krishna Yadav, Auckland

    Tue, Nov 29 2022

    This is so beautifully written, every time you amaze us with your words.

  • Asmath, Wales

    Mon, Nov 28 2022

    Wow wow wow Sonal!!! All through the read I was just picturing every detail in front of me. Honestly, marriage is far beyond good looks. That's the last thing on your mind when you are happy😊 loved this one. 💖

  • Ben D'Souza Prabhu, Mangalore, Bombay Bandra now in Canada

    Mon, Nov 28 2022

    My dear Sonal ! This is Really Lovely ! You said it Well !!!

  • Amruta, Bangalore

    Mon, Nov 28 2022

    Beautiful sonu !! 🥰🥰

  • Veena, Mangalore

    Mon, Nov 28 2022

    Well done Sonu!! Keep writing & wish you all the best

  • Alisha, Mangalore

    Mon, Nov 28 2022

    Beautifully written❤❤

  • Santhosh, Mangalore

    Mon, Nov 28 2022

    Very well written.

  • Shiny Lobo, Bangalore

    Mon, Nov 28 2022

    Beautifully written Sonal ❤️

  • Rita, Germany

    Mon, Nov 28 2022

    Sonal you are the best in everything .Nothing to add more.Wish all men to recognize it the way you wrote .women be the same as they are.recognizing their values and make good use of it.Let their heart speak this ,make family life a Heaven on earth-not hell.kindly continue your writings and keep us happy.Thank you

  • Lianna, Puttur

    Mon, Nov 28 2022

    ❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️

  • Pooja, Bangalore

    Mon, Nov 28 2022

    Overwhelming and beautifully written ❤️

  • Ray, Mangalore

    Mon, Nov 28 2022

    Such a beautiful write up. After reading your write up I sort of realized how we take our better half for granted. Though we don't hurt them, but at times we turn mute spectators when others are insulting them. Really thought provoking. Appreciate your efforts. Wonderful

  • Vidhya, Bangalore

    Mon, Nov 28 2022

    Very well-written Sonu. Beauty is not just skin-deep and much beyond! You have articulated it beautifully.

  • Santhosh, Bangalore

    Mon, Nov 28 2022

    Such a beautiful writing. Loved every word of it❤️

  • Martha, Bangalore

    Mon, Nov 28 2022

    I have no words, except a wow. Wow and wow. Beautiful beyond description. So well written. Thank you.


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