March 10, 2023

Do you ever regret it when you think of your past? Do you remember the situations where you said something and regretted it deeply? How many of us have used words which we shouldn’t have used? Don’t we think that it would have been much better if we had thought a bit better before speaking and avoided the embarrassment? I can surely make a long list and I’m pretty much sure that even you have plenty of those just like me, right?

One of the most important skills which we all have to develop in this present scenario is to think before speaking. Getting angry and reacting to things immediately is common human behavior. But what about the words we spell? I agree, we get angry all of a sudden, most of the time things just happen without our notice and most of us are pretty careless with the words we use. The words we spell out might be a positive one or a negative, helpful or hurtful. It will have a direct impact on the outcome of the situation. Because words are very powerful.

Let me tell you a story. There was a boy whose name was Danny, who often used to get angry. Once, Danny’s father gifted him a wooden plank and a box of nails. Danny was surprised to see the gift but at the same time he was confused and asked his father,” Why did you gift me this? He questioned. Danny’s father told him that whenever you get angry you will have to hit the nail on the wooden plank. Danny agreed. The very next day, Danny hit nearly fifteen nails on the wooden plank. The second day it reduced to twelve and gradually there came a day where Danny did not hit any nail on the plank. Danny’s father was surprised to see his son trying to control his anger. He said,” I am very proud of you. You did a great job and now here comes your next task. Danny’s father asked Danny to remove the nails that were hit on the plank. Danny does that, father appreciates it. But at the same time, he says to Danny that you have removed all the nails from the plank but will you be able to hide the holes in the plank? Can you just turn it into a normal one like before? Danny then realized why his father gave him this gift. I guess you people got to know what I was going to say. Yes folks! Once words exit from your mouth, no amount of apologies will be able to cover the holes in your heart. A wise thought before putting off words can save your family, relationship, friendship and many more.

What happens when you do not think before you speak?

If you do not think before you speak, then you might end up hurting someone. We humans always react soon when we get angry. The problem is we not only react but also take decisions without second thought. We start reacting to things negatively. This often happens when we start arguing with our loved ones. So this can lead to a gap in relationships as it can have a negative impact. Along with developing the skill of thinking before speaking, one should also develop the habit of listening. Sometimes misunderstandings can take place if you do not hear your partner clearly and retaliate against them. Most of us do not possess patience. We try to interfere before ending up the conversation and fall into trouble.

Then is it very difficult to think before speaking?

Nothing is impossible when the word itself says possible, right? It might be hard, but it is never impossible. Firstly, one should develop a controlled reaction to anything. Don’t you feel sometimes why you always end up speaking wrong? Why can’t you concentrate on what someone is saying? Why do you always interfere before ending up the conversation? Just take a deep breath. I have even felt the same. That happens mainly because of lack of patience, lack of listening ability. There comes another question. That is, should we always think before speaking? Exactly Yes! If you are discussing something specific, then you should at least give a pause and think for a while and then speak up. If the matter is not important and if you are having a conversation with your friends, then going with the flow sounds better.

So how should your words be? And how should you develop the skill of thinking?

When you speak, just ask yourself whether what you are speaking is true. Does it help or hurt? Encourage or discourage the person? Always try to be trustworthy. Try to speak the truth rather than simply lying about things and losing the trust of others. Your words should always be helpful and not hurtful. The words we use should always motivate and encourage others to do something in their lives. It should never discourage or demotivate them. If you cannot speak something good about someone, then try not to speak, rather than simply creating a fictional story and hurting their characters.

So how can you develop the skill of thinking before speaking?

A very significant part of effective communication is listening. Before you respond to something, learn the habit of developing the skill of listening. When you listen to others keenly, you’ll be able to converse better and also will be able to respond to conversations without saying something awkward. It is always better to take a quick pause and take a deep breath. So that you get a short time to compose your thoughts before jumping on into an awkward conversation. Why is it important because once you spell out your words you cannot change them in the latter course? So, instead of leaving any negative impact on an individual, just imagine it as a pause button. So that you can use it to rewind your thoughts, think of the right response and then finally press the play button.

So folks, let’s not interfere or speak unnecessarily about something or someone. If possible, let us try to compliment others rather than criticize every step of their success. If it is not possible for you to say something good about someone, then, try to avoid the conversation or keep yourself quiet rather than unnecessarily blaming them on things. What happened has already happened. You cannot change it, but from now, let us try to spread smiles for miles and be a reason for someone’s happiness, but never be the reason for someone’s sadness.