Secrets to a Happy Marriage

  •   Thu, Nov 30 2023
  •   By Chethana Rahul Rao

November 30, 2023

Marriage is a beautiful bond between two people; it’s the union of two souls. There is a saying which you all would have heard-‘Marriages are made in heaven’. Yes! Made in heaven but lived on earth. Two strangers decide to spend the rest of their life together, wow! It’s such a wonderful feeling and ‘you get to choose’ this one special person as your partner forever. We celebrate the wedding day, the yearly anniversaries, but why not celebrate this relationship each and every day?

We are in the era where it’s difficult for people to live without their phones but absolutely okay to live without their partners. No! It shouldn’t be that way. You have to make your partner your priority. Their happiness should also be your happiness and most importantly, you have to be selfless. These positive personalities in you draw your partner closer to you. But, nothing is happily possible if one person is doing all of it and the other person stays numb. Marriage is not a fairytale; it takes efforts from both the individuals to make it work.

How does a marriage sustain beautifully then?

1) Understanding - Everything seems to be good in the beginning, but to keep the relationship alive forever you have to put in efforts to understand your partner well. Know your partner’s likings, what they enjoy doing, their comfort zone, work routine, food & sleep habits, tone of their voice, their smile, laugh, silence etc., Yes! You should know even the smallest of the details about your partner; it’s very similar to knowing your own self. The more you try to understand your partner, the more you fall in love with him/her.

2) Communicate - Talk about your day, discuss about the problem that’s making you worry. Be open to hold conversations about your finances, health, family, parenting style, vacation, career etc. Make sure to have one meal/ breakfast together. Communication is the key to know your partner better. Also, be patient enough to listen to what your partner wants to say, because communication is meaningless without proper listening.

3) Love & Care – Remember the first time you saw your partner? Got butterflies in your stomach? Their smile felt the best? Eyes sparkled like stars? Felt secure and happy? Wanted to spend more time with him/her? Never let anything destroy this amazing feeling. Shower love and care to your partner like how you do it to yourself. The more you nourish, better grows the relationship. Learn to fall in love with your partner every day. Give compliments, throw surprises, romance often and laugh together. Let your love shine bright.

4) Respect & Support – As humans, we are all taught to respect every individual. You should have immense respect about your partner and never let it fade with time. Learn to respect your partner’s point of view, their choices, perspectives, emotions, time, interests their family & friends, everything. Also, never let them feel alone while in a relationship. Give them that support, be their home. Support each other in every instance possible.

5) Trust & Gratitude – You must trust your partner because that’s the foundation. Trust their instincts, their moves and their decisions. They are doing it to benefit both of you. Be thankful and happy to have your partner because he/she is the only person you got to choose other than your friends. Your partner should become/be your best friend, your happy place, your partner in crime, your therapist and your everything. No matter what the situation is, never give up on your partner. Be grateful for having them in your life, otherwise it would have been boring isn’t it?

6) Welcome conflicts & learn to forgive - Conflicts are obvious in a relationship. Not every day is a sunny day. It is absolutely okay to have arguments and when you have one, always remember- it should not be your partner versus you; instead it should always be ‘you both’ versus ‘the situation’. Make sure to end any sort of conflicts before you go to bed. Apologizing and forgiving should be made normal in a relationship. At the end of the day- you both should win, not the ego. So, learn to forgive your partner, forget the arguments and have a fresh start.

Relationship is like the sky, it’s vast. Conflicts/Issues are like clouds, they pass. We all have got just one life and we chose this one special person as our partner for this life. So, learn to forgive each other’s mistakes and move on. Feel happy & proud of your partner. Make them feel special. Live & celebrate life together to the fullest. Let your love & life set an example for your kids to follow.

Below is one short poem of mine which I want to share with you all;

Marriage is a commitment between two souls which are brilliant.
Journey of two lives begin as one, with loads of dreams, love and fun.
Respect, support and trust each other.
Don’t forget to spread smile and celebrate success together.

I wish your life is filled with loads of love and happiness.

Keep shining and keep smiling.

 

 

 
By Chethana Rahul Rao
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Comment on this article

  • Rudolf Rodrigues, Mumbai -Mangalore

    Sat, Dec 02 2023

    Dear Chetana; something very iteresting concerning your topic, courtesy Quora:: Let me tell a short story 1st - One day, during an evening class for adults, the psychology Teacher entered the class and told students, “Let’s all play a game!” “ What Game?” The Teacher asked one of the students to volunteer. A lady, Aliza came forward. The Teacher asked her to write 30 names of most important people in her life on blackboard. Aliza wrote names of her family members, relatives, friends, her colleagues and her neighbors. The Teacher told her to erase 3 names that Aliza considered most unimportant. Aliza erased names of her colleagues. The Teacher again told her to delete 5 more names. Aliza erased her neighbor’s names. This went on until there were just four names left on the blackboard. These were names of her mother, father, husband and the only son… The entire class became silent realizing that this wasn’t a game anymore for Aliza alone. Now, The Teacher told her to delete two more names. It was a very difficult choice for Aliza. She unwillingly deleted her parents names. “Please delete one more” said the Teacher. Aliza became very nervous and with trembling hands and rears in eyes she deleted her son’s name. Aliza cried painfully… The Teacher told Aliza to take her seat. After a while Teacher asked “why your husband?? The parents are the ones that nurtured you, and the son is the one you gave birth to ??? And you can always find another husband !!!” Total silence in the class. Everyone was curious to know her response. Aliza calmly and slowly said, “One day my parents will pass away before me. My son may also leave me when he grows old, for his studies or business or whatever reason. The only one who will truly share his entire life with me, is my Husband”. All the students stood up and applauded for her for sharing this truth of life. This is the truth of marriage. So always value your life partner, it’s not only for husbands but wives as well

  • Rudolf Rodrigues, Mumbai -Mangalore

    Fri, Dec 01 2023

    Good writeup! But; I think you have mistakenly forgotten about the most important topic of, closest family, interference of closest members of the couples family who are directly responsible for many breakups by gaslighting the misunderstandings or other problems in the marriage that usually crop up from time to time! Also, bringing an outsider man or woman is one of the most dangerous thing in a married couples life! For details, you can get to any lawyer who is specialising in divorce cases, and you will be shocked to know, from the horse's mouth, the proportion of marriages getting destroyed by dominant, egoistic, and even jealousy in-laws (all in-laws included) who cannot see the couple thriving happily and independently; I would have given you some very strange and bizzare reasons of why some inlaws trying their best to breakup an already strained marriage, but am refraining for obvious reasons!! Feel free to write your views on this very important aspect of many a weakened marriage breakups in today's social setting! Cheers and all the best!

  • Rudolf Rodrigues, Mumbai Mangalore

    Thu, Nov 30 2023

    Good writeup! But; I think you have mistakenly forgotten about the most important topic of too much interference of outside members of the couples family who are directly responsible for the many breakups by gaslighting the misunderstandings or other problems in the marriage! Bringing an outsider man or woman is one of the most dangerous thing in a married couples life! For details, you can get to any lawyer who is specialising in divorce cases, and you will be shocked to know, from the horse's mouth, the proportion of marriages getting destroyed by dominant, egoistic, snd even jealousy in-laws (all in-laws included) who cannot see the couple living happily!! Feel free to write your views on this very important aspect of marriage breakups in today's social setting!Cheers and all the best!

  • SAN, Mangaluru

    Thu, Nov 30 2023

    😏...easy to give this gyaan....almost impossible 😂


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