November 9, 2024

In the frantic pace of everyday life, it’s easy to get caught up in our emotions, often without realizing we have control over them. We may find ourselves reliving past hurts or allowing painful memories to shape our present lives. But what if we had the power to choose how we responded to those feelings?

The concept of choice lies at the heart of emotional freedom. We often create pain in our minds by choosing to hold onto negative interpretations of past events, building emotional wounds that can last a lifetime. When someone’s words or actions hurt us, the pain stems from our reactions and thoughts about the incident. If we choose to let go—to release it—the hurt doesn’t linger. In essence, it is our choice.

Understanding the criteria of having choices.

The Karmic Cycle: Choosing Your Response:

In life, every thought and action we take sends out energy, much like a message broadcast into the universe. Each word we speak, thought we think, and action we commit—whether positive or negative—eventually finds its way back to us. This is the essence of karma: the energy we project is ultimately returned to us.

When someone insults or betrays us, it feels deeply hurtful. However, according to karmic law, these experiences may be the return of energy we ourselves once set in motion. Whether it’s an abusive relationship, a spouse’s betrayal, a difficult marriage, the pain of a breakup, a critical boss, an arrogant child, or an unfaithful partner, these painful experiences can leave us feeling hurt, rejected, and resentful. In these moments, we often find ourselves asking, “Why did this happen to me?” and fall into the habit of blaming others and the circumstances around us.

We must remember that everything happening to us is a consequence of our past karma and that the people in our lives are part of a cosmic balance. Karma is a pure science: every experience is a return of energy we once sent out, out of ignorance. No hurtful feeling returns to us unless we’ve projected it outward ourselves. When the consequence arrives soon after—say, within a week—we can usually recall the cause. But if it returns years later, or even in our next life, we may have no memory of it. Therefore, the question “Why did this happen to me?” will fade away if we remember that everything happening to us is a consequence of our past karma. When we stop blaming others, we conserve a great deal of our energy.

Rather than reacting negatively, we now have the choice to respond with calmness and kindness, sending out a “positive message” that will return to us as positive energy. While we cannot change or control situations that arise from our past actions, we have complete control over how we respond in the present. Our focus should be on sending out positive energy, regardless of what we receive. The more we respond with positivity—through kindness, forgiveness, and patience—the more we build a karmic account filled with positive returns.

Accepting a situation becomes much easier when we remember the law of karma. With a little effort to send positive energy to others, through which we shape our destiny. While everything so far has been predestined—meaning that our past karma has determined our current life—we now have the power and choice to create the future we desire. This approach shifts our focus from asking, “Why is this happening to me?” to “How can I respond in a way that brings positivity into my life?” By embracing the law of karma, we come to see that each response is a new choice—an opportunity to break cycles of negativity and to cultivate peace and resilience in our lives, thereby shaping our own destiny.

Believe system:

Our belief systems—shaped by family, society, friends, and the workplace—affect how we react to situations in life. Let’s look at some of these beliefs, how they influence us, and whether they’re truly helpful.

One common belief is: “They hurt me; they are the cause of my pain.” This belief assumes that others have control over our emotions. But people will behave as they choose, and situations will unfold as they are meant to. So, who is really the creator of my thoughts? Can anyone truly hurt me emotionally? Can anyone upset me? No—they can only act according to their own choices. While we can experience physical harm, emotional hurt is different; it’s created within us because no one can enter our mind and cause us pain. The situation is external, and the person is outside of us. They may lie, cheat, betray, or even physically harm us, but they cannot control how we think about it.

So, who is it that truly hurts me? It’s the way I interpret and react to their behaviour. Ultimately, I am the creator of my own thoughts. The only person who can emotionally harm me is myself by repeatedly thinking negative thoughts.

Another belief we often hear is, “Feeling hurt is normal.” But if this were an automatic, natural response, wouldn’t everyone feel hurt with the same intensity? Wouldn’t everyone feel hurt in the same way and for the same length of time? Imagine two students who are both scolded by a teacher for being late. One feels deeply hurt and anxious, dwelling on it all day, while the other feels only mildly affected and quickly moves on. This difference shows that hurt isn’t a fixed, universal response; it depends on each person’s choice in how intensely they feel hurt and how long they hold onto it. In essence, we have more control than we realize over whether we feel hurt, how intense it is, and how long we let it affect us.

Yet another widely accepted belief is, “It’s natural to worry and feel pain when loved ones are sick.” We often think, “Of course, I’m in pain because I love them.” However, this response can stem more from attachment than from true love. When we experience pain and worry, we radiate that energy, which adds pain to their pain. In contrast, if we can cultivate a more detached state—remaining calm and stable internally—we can offer peace and courage to our loved ones. Our vibration of stability and courage can then be radiated to the sick person, providing them with strength and comfort. In such moments, it’s not our physical presence that truly matters, but the mental state we bring. Our inner calm can offer solace to them.

Sometimes, we’ve likely observed that if we approach someone who is feeling sad and sorrowful, they ask to be left alone. This is because when we’re filled with sorrow and pain ourselves, we bring that same energy into their space, adding to the weight they’re already carrying. However, if we approach them with inner stability, calmness, and even happiness, they’re more likely to feel comforted and receptive to our support. This dynamic is similar to visiting a peaceful place, like a temple, where the pure, soothing vibrations lift our spirits. Just as a calm environment can bring us peace, our own inner stability and positive energy can help others feel lighter and more at ease.

There’s a common belief that ‘it’s natural to grieve with intense sorrow, to cry, fast, or lament when someone passes away.” We’re often taught that this shows our love and respect for them. However, while these expressions are a part of human experience, they may have unintended effects, both on us and on the soul that has moved on.

When we understand that a loved one is no longer their physical form but a soul on its own journey—perhaps preparing to return to life in the womb of a new mother—we realize that this soul remains sensitive to the emotional energy radiating from the family left behind. Sometimes, we see babies who cry often and seem restless; this may be because they are absorbing unresolved pain from a grieving family. In contrast, babies who are calm and peaceful may be receiving only gentle, positive energy from the family they left behind. So, what do we want our loved ones to experience on their new journey—sorrow or happiness?

Imagine the impact of thoughts like, “How can I live without you?” “Why did you leave me?” or “I’ll never be happy again.” These habitual thoughts of sorrow and longing, while common, can unintentionally send heavy, negative energy to both ourselves and the soul that has moved forward. This hinders our own peace, and despite offering prayers for them to “rest in peace,” our underlying energy of sorrow may disrupt the very peace we wish for them. But if we consciously choose to send peaceful thoughts to our loved one who has passed, such as, “Wherever you are, I hope you are happy and healthy, and I’m doing well here. Do not worry about us; we will take care of ourselves, and you take care of yourself." These affirmations create a powerful, uplifting energy that flows first within us, soothing and comforting us, and then radiates outward to them. By consistently choosing pure, loving thoughts like these, we gradually ease our own pain. Acceptance begins to settle in, allowing us to radiate love and positivity as they continue their journey.

These exploration highlights that we can shape our emotional responses by examining our beliefs and choosing our thoughts carefully. The way we react to loss shows that hurt is not an automatic response; rather, it is created by the thoughts we allow ourselves to dwell on.

“If we stay in a low state of consciousness for more than three months, we can literally create disease in our body.” Many major diseases today are linked to our emotional health. So, are we emotionally healthy? Where is our resilience today? We’ve all experienced moments of hurt—often triggered by interactions or misunderstandings with others. A hurtful comment, a perceived insult—these may seem small, yet they have the power to leave lasting emotional scars. Over time, these emotional scars can manifest in our bodies as various diseases. Holding on to emotional hurt becomes a harmful, silent infection within us. “Letting go!” is the best treatment. But what if we had the power to change how we interpret these moments? This is the philosophy behind choosing not to get hurt: understanding that our pain often comes not from the event itself but from the way we choose to process and remember it. By consciously choosing to release hurt, we protect our emotional and physical well-being, fostering resilience and healing within.