From silence to strength: Life & transformation of an LGBTQ activist in struggle for equality

  •   Tue, Nov 26 2024
  •   Nishali Kundar

To challenge the prejudices faced by the LGBTQ community in Indian society, this project delves into the life of a remarkable individual who is both gay and deeply religious, a rare and fascinating combination considering the traditional opposition of religious institutions to homosexuality. Meet Laishram Romal Michael Singh—a gay man, Christian, journalist, stylist, writer, and much more.

We often take for granted the idea of being unapologetically accepted for who we are. Our personal identities are shaped by the choices we make, the beliefs we hold, and the love we share. From the moment we become conscious beings, we are inherently capable of loving everyone and everything around us. Sometimes, all it takes is a little rekindling of that innate love.

Romal's story deviates from the typical portrayal of gay activism often seen in popular media.

He introduced himself, saying:

"I am Laishram Romal Michael Singh. I am a journalist, 38 years old, and currently the assistant editor of Indulge, part of The New Indian Express in Bangalore. My early life, like everyone else's, involved schooling. I did most of my schooling in Kotagiri in the Nilgiris and pursued further education in Bangalore. While most of my professional life has been based in Bangalore, I have also worked in Mumbai and Chennai."

Coming to terms with identity

Realizing one's identity as part of the LGBTQ spectrum is often a journey. Romal shared his experience:
"I think I first realized I might be queer or gay when I was about 13 or 14. People often use these terms interchangeably, though some see queer as more encompassing and gay as specific to men attracted to men. I use both terms. My first inkling came during a school play. I was cast as the prince in Sleeping Beauty, and the girl playing the princess pulled a prank on me. On the final show, in front of the entire audience, she kissed me, and it startled me. I felt deeply irritated and even wronged, though I couldn’t quite articulate why at the time. Looking back, I realized I had always envisioned my first kiss to be with a guy, not a girl. At 15, I accepted myself, and by 16, I came out. It was a process, but that’s how my story began."

Growing up in an orthodox Christian family, Romal wrestled with societal and religious norms. He explained:

"I questioned myself—why would I choose a lifestyle so fraught with judgment and opposition, especially one condemned by many religions? I educated myself to understand and accept who I am before confronting the world. I had to be prepared to counter every stereotype, accusation, and misconception thrown at me. By the time I was 18, I was confident enough to stand my ground."

The path to activism

Romal’s journey into activism began unexpectedly:

"By 2008, I was already a journalist. I was covering Bangalore’s first pride march for Midday, the paper I worked for. While walking alongside the participants, my photographer friend turned to me and said, 'Romal, you shouldn’t be here; you should be there.' His words hit me hard. The next day, I approached the organizers and asked, 'How can I help?' That marked the start of my activism."

Though he stepped back from active campaigning in 2016, Romal emphasized that being part of the LGBTQ community inherently makes one an activist for life. He elaborated:

"India has made significant progress—decriminalizing homosexuality and recognizing LGBTQ rights. Yet, societal acceptance remains a challenge. Pride in India is less about celebration and more about protest, as laws often fail to translate into tangible change. For instance, despite legislation ensuring transgender job reservations, its implementation is lacking. The fight continues, but I’m hopeful that, in the next decade, India will become a place where everyone can live authentically."

Rethinking cultural norms

Romal highlighted the influence of colonialism and imported ideologies on Indian attitudes toward sexuality:

"The irony is that we didn’t borrow queer identity from the West; we borrowed homophobia. Historically, Indian culture was open and accepting, as seen in texts like the Kama Sutra and art like Khajuraho’s sculptures. Unfortunately, colonial and religious influences imposed restrictive moral codes that we mistakenly regard as 'our culture' today. Educating people about our true heritage of tolerance can help change this mindset, though it will take time."

On gender and sexuality

Romal described the evolving understanding of gender and sexual identities:

"LGBTQIA+ is an ever-growing acronym. The '+' initially represented HIV-positive individuals but now symbolizes inclusivity for anyone marginalized. Gender is a self-perceived identity. Broadly, people identify as cisgender (aligned with the gender assigned at birth) or transgender (not aligned). Beyond this, there are as many gender identities as there are people. In India, we’ve always recognized diverse identities—look at Ardhanarishwara or the concept of agendered sannyasis. Sadly, we’ve adopted Western terminology to describe what has existed here for centuries."

Romal concluded with a powerful message of resilience and hope:

"For every person who confidently embraces their identity, there are hundreds who struggle due to societal judgment. While I’ve developed the strength to shrug off insults, not everyone has the same privilege. We must create a world where coming out is safe, not an act of courage. Education, dialogue, and empathy can help us reclaim our inclusive cultural roots and ensure that everyone, regardless of identity, feels accepted."

 

 
Nishali Kundar
The author is a student of journalism in Bhandarkars College, Kundapur
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