May 29, 2025

“What really matters for success, character, happiness and lifelong achievements is a definite set of emotional skills, your EQ, not just purely cognitive abilities that are measured by conventional IQ tests.” — Daniel Goleman.

Introduction

Emotional Quotient (EQ) or Emotional Intelligence (EI) refers to the ability to perceive, control and evaluate emotions. Some researchers suggest that emotional intelligence can be learned and strengthened, while others claim, it is an inborn characteristic.  Emotional Quotient refers to the capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships.

Emotions are what we feel and experience, in our body, mind and heart, when we are alone, with others or when faced with situations. Emotions move us or motivate us, guide us in our decisions, sustain us in our struggles, and crown us in our victories.                             

In the 1960s at Stanford University, psychologist Walter Mischel, conducted an experiment to demonstrate the importance of emotional self-control and delayed gratification.

Four-year-old children were given a choice: they could have one marshmallow immediately or wait 15–20 minutes until the researcher returned—and receive two marshmallows instead.

To resist temptation, some children covered their eyes, talked to themselves, played games, or even tried to fall asleep. Others, unable to wait, ate the marshmallow within seconds of the researcher leaving the room. Years later, it was found that the gratification delaying group was more socially competent, embraced challenges, were able to cope with frustrations in life and were personally more effective. The ‘Grab the Marshmallows’ group on the other hand were relatively more troubled, were prone to temper tantrums, were easily upset by frustrations and were quite indecisive. The psychological ability to resist impulses lies at the core of emotional self-control.

Emotions, by their very nature trigger impulses to act.

A child's choices between impulse and restraint offer insight into the direction their life may take. This proves the importance of emotional quotient.

Daniel Goleman, an American psychologist, author, and science journalist, was the first to highlight the importance of emotional intelligence.

Elements of EQ

Emotional Quotient comprises of intrapersonal competencies and interpersonal competencies.

Intrapersonal competencies are self-awareness, self-regulation and motivation. Interpersonal competencies include empathy and adeptness in relationships. Thus, it involves self and social awareness and management of self and relationships.

Salovey and Mayer (1990) proposed a model, that identified four different factors of emotional intelligence: the perception of emotion, the ability to reason using emotions, the ability to understand emotions and the ability to manage emotions.

1.Perceiving Emotions: The first step in understanding emotions is to accurately perceive them. In many cases, this might involve understanding nonverbal signals such as body language and facial expressions.

2.Using Emotions: The next step involves using emotions to promote thinking and cognitive activity. Emotions help prioritize, what we pay attention and react to; we respond emotionally to things that attract our attention.

3.Understanding Emotions: The emotions that we perceive can carry a wide variety of meanings. If someone is expressing angry emotions, the observer must interpret the cause of their anger and what it might mean. For example, if an individual is acting angry, it might mean that he/she is dissatisfied with work; or it could be because he/she got into an argument with someone.

4.Managing Emotions: The ability to manage emotions effectively is a key part of emotional intelligence. Regulating emotions, responding appropriately and responding to the emotions of others, are all important aspect of emotional management.

How does EQ help?

Emotional Quotient (EQ) helps us understand, accept, and express our own feelings while also enabling us to identify, understand, and empathize with the emotions of others. It encourages a proactive mindset, supports healthy interpersonal relationships, and equips us to manage stress and resolve conflicts effectively. By fostering emotional awareness and social competence, EQ enhances our personal well-being and contributes to greater professional success.

Need for EQ in Schools/Educational Institutions

Today, educational institutions face the challenge of maintaining high academic standards, while serving increasingly diverse student populations. They are also expected to encourage parental involvement, promote socially appropriate behavior, that supports learning, and ensure staff are equipped with relevant teacher training.

How to enhance EQ?

Becoming emotionally literate involves labeling your feelings instead of labeling people or situations, and learning to distinguish thoughts from emotions. Take responsibility for your feelings and use them to guide your decisions. Respect and validate others’ emotions, seek positive value in all feelings, and choose to feel energized rather than angry. Avoid advising, criticizing, or controlling others, and distance yourself from those who invalidate you.

The AR3 principle developed by S. Hein, stands for “Accepting Reality Releases Resentment.” It is especially helpful in situations, where we have little responsibility for what occurred and limited ability to change it. In such cases, the key is to either learn from the experience or take constructive action.

Some positive emotions for success in life:

• Confidence – Sense that success is not impossible and that adults will help
• Curiosity - Sense that finding about things is positive and leads to pleasure
• Intentionality - The wish and capacity to make an impact
• Self-Control - Ability to control one’s actions in age appropriate ways
• Relatedness - Ability to engage with others -being understood and understanding others
• Capacity to communicate - Wish and ability to verbally exchange ideas feelings and concepts
• Cooperativeness - Ability to balance one’s needs with others in the group

EQ and the Teacher:

The teacher supports academic success and balanced development by reducing aggression through guidance, fostering open dialogue, promoting respect and diversity, and strengthening communication skills.

The emotionally intelligent teacher:

• Understands the developmental stages of children.

• Connects with children at their level.

• Avoids labelling the child.

• Uses discipline that preserves the child's dignity.

• Demonstrates empathy toward the child.

• Helps the child feel valued and teaches self-worth.

An emotionally intelligent teacher inspires and motivates students, sparks their enthusiasm, guides their growth, stimulates thinking and creativity, and affirms their self-worth.

Socio-emotional skills like empathy, resilience, and self-awareness, are vital for success in both personal and professional life. The NEP acknowledges their importance, and advocates for their integration into the education system.

In Conclusion:

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) plays a vital role in building strong relationships, achieving personal and career goals, and succeeding in both school and the workplace. It enables us to connect with our emotions, turn intentions into meaningful actions, and make thoughtful, informed decisions. With EQ, we can stay calm under pressure, navigate challenges effectively, and respond in constructive ways. It also fosters self-awareness, empathy, and supportive relationships, ultimately enhancing our overall success and well-being.

Let us therefore pay attention to developing the EQ of our children, so as to equip them with the life skills needed, to face a competitive world, fraught with challenges and pressures, from different sources.

“If you don't manage your emotions, then your emotions will manage you.”  ~Doc Childre and Deborah Rozman, Transforming Anxiety.

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