What Are Your Pursuits Costing You?

  •   Fri, Oct 16 2026
  •   By Oliver Sutari

October 16, 2026

Is tiredness your constant companion? Have you ever felt as though your life's compass has lost its direction, leaving you wondering what you're really living for?

If these questions resonate with you, it may be worth looking beyond the physical.

Persistent fatigue can be due to medical conditions; yet many also describe something deeper: a loss of purpose. That is when life's meaning becomes blurred, enthusiasm fades, motivation declines, and even simple tasks can feel overwhelming. Exhaustion becomes real.

At some point, nearly everyone experiences this. We all long for something that rekindles our passion for living.

Today, millions of Indians enjoy comforts that previous generations could scarcely imagine - cars, household appliances, air-conditioned homes, an endless variety of food and a plethora of entertainment choices. Compared with our grandparents, our lives are overflowing with conveniences.

Yet many have discovered, albeit late in life, that neither comfort, nor money, nor power, has guaranteed contentment.

Previous generations often walked or cycled long distances to work, and a dozen staff shared one squeaky fan that refused to work on some days. They lived with fewer possessions, had simple meals and yet seemed to possess remarkable resilience. Weekends were spent entirely with the family, sharing whatever little they had.

Throughout history, human beings have endured enormous physical hardship. We appear to be remarkably capable of physical endurance. Perhaps our greatest burden today is not physical labour but mental overload.

Examine - for a moment - what the mind goes through. We live in an age of constant comparison, relentless ambition, financial pressure, and endless distraction. On weekends - to compete with their peers - many of today's young professionals are seen crowding resorts, binging on alcohol, cigarettes and drugs - literally hammering their bodies till the wee hours of the morning. They then wonder why they feel exhausted for the rest of the week.

Our minds are seldom at rest. We worry about tomorrow while failing to appreciate today.

Parents often find themselves torn between demanding careers and the emotional needs of their children. Quality family time barely exists – even as children silently long for attention that no material gifts can replace.

When I visit schools to give talks, I often notice different expressions. Some eyes sparkle with curiosity and joy. Others appear distant, burdened by worries no child should have to carry. I often remind teachers that apart from a mind and a pair of hands, a student also has a heart that simply cannot be ignored.

When we were growing, we seldom heard of suicides and if it happened, it was never a young person. In my 23 years of counselling, I have counselled five students of 9th Standard and many students in the pre-university stage. This is very scary and no parent should take this lightly.

Our culture celebrates achievement, speed, and success. Young people are frequently pressured to pursue careers because they promise high salaries rather than genuine fulfilment. Many eventually discover that financial rewards alone cannot sustain passion.

"Play fair" has too often been replaced by "win at all costs."

Why, even when we reach a goal, the satisfaction rarely lasts? Why, even a promotion, a bigger house, or a car soon becomes the new normal? Yet hurts, disappointments, and resentment can linger for 40-50 years, quietly gnawing away at our relationships, our emotional and physical well-being.

A modest home becomes insufficient because someone else owns a larger one. I know of a couple that didn’t have children and yet built a house with five bedrooms well past their child-bearing age. Today they are in their seventies, their empty home echoing their silence.

So many couples begin married life carrying enormous loans simply to impress guests and relatives who will always find something lacking. Financial burden is known to cause cracks in a marriage. Suicides because of the inability to repay loans are on the rise. 

Many of us unknowingly surrender our individuality in pursuit of approval. We follow fashions, lifestyles, and social trends not because they reflect who we are, but because we fear being left out. Yet when life becomes difficult, the same people you put so much effort to impress now look upon you as a loser. 

Ultimately, our well-being is shaped by the choices we make. Circumstances matter, but so do our priorities, attitudes, and values.

Some people seek lasting happiness through constant consumption; others discover that peace grows through gratitude, meaningful relationships, service, and a life grounded in something greater than themselves.

I have met cancer patients who are much more at peace than the ones with wealth. They fight the disease, but surrender the outcome to God. Statistics reveal that whoever walks with God are far less likely to suffer from depression or suicide ideation; and far more likely to experience peace 

Sometimes life's greatest lessons arrive as wake-up calls. A 35-year-old IBM executive in Mumbai was diagnosed with early diabetes, hypertension, and high cholesterol. Faced with a choice between lifelong medication and significant lifestyle changes, he resigned from his high-paying job, moved to his grandfather's village farm in Maharashtra, embraced agriculture, and simplified his life. A year later, his medical tests came negative. More importantly, he said he had never felt more liberated.

His story is not a prescription for everyone, but it illustrates an important truth: success means little if it costs us our health, our relationships, or our peace.

Statistics also show that people with purpose live a more meaningful life. 

We often hear this question being asked: But what's the purpose of life?

That answer was revealed 2000 years ago. When asked which is the greatest of all commandments, Jesus replied: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbour as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.” 

I know of one newly married couple from my parish in Mumbai who, instead of spending millions of rupees on a reception, donated half the money to charity and celebrated with a simple family tea gathering. Their joy came not from extravagance but from generosity. 

And therein lies the secret of true joy. William James wrote: "The most important thing in life is to live your life for something more important than your own."

Giving of ourselves for the good of the other is what brings lasting peace because we are built for that. That would explain why material pursuits don't fill the emptiness in our hearts. Material pursuits, by itself is not the problem. What we do with what we have tilts our peace quotient one way or the other.

Whether one approaches life through faith or another worldview, these questions remains the same: What are we pursuing? When we have so much, why are we not happy? Why no holiday can cure our exhaustion? Why are we so tired when life has become so easy?

Here’s the great paradox: We have more comfort, but less contentment.

If the answer is only wealth, comfort, approval, or status, we may eventually discover that none of these can fully satisfy the deepest longings of the human heart. And such pursuits come at a great cost to our well-being.

But if we pursue meaning, love, gratitude, integrity, and a purpose greater than ourselves, we may find that the peace and contentment we have been searching for was never as far away as we imagined.

 

 
By Oliver Sutari
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