Jan 14, 2009
It’s been nearly six months that I have moved to the United States. On my second day here my dad took me out shopping. As we were entering the mall a women who was exiting the mall smiled at me. I didn’t really know her. So I thought she possibly smiled at someone else and not me. I ignored her.
When I moved ahead inside the mall, again a man smiled at me. I began to wonder if I know him by any chance. But he was an American and I didn’t know any Americans then. So I presumed he was an employee in the mall and just being courteous to customers. I gave him a brief smile and rushed ahead. Another woman smiled at me and asked me how I was doing? She had her shopping cart and was shopping. So obviously she was not an employee there. Now this was weird.
It simply went on and on. Something was really fishy. I wasn’t famous as yet, though I have ambitions of becoming famous one day. But for now, all smiles looked like daggers to me. Every other person was giving me a smile or greeting me. I surely was surprised.
I asked my dad “dad do you come here often”?
Dad replied “No, not really, why”?
“I am a bit confused, I don’t really know these people and so do you. So then why is every other person smiling and greeting us”?
Dad smiled and responded “that’s courtesy honey. What’s so strange about it? Don’t you feel good when somebody smiles at you?”
Well, yes I do feel good when anybody smiles at me. But being raised in Mumbai, where you usually smile and greet only people you know, I found this gesture a little bit strange. Nevertheless, I found it interesting and very beautiful. A smile can actually be something so very simple but yet so very powerful.
I remember one of my teacher in school asking us “which is the longest word in English”. Many intelligent students replied. But what we got as an answer is still etched in my memory. She said it was SMILES, because between the two S’s there was a mile. Amazing, isn’t it?
However I agree that it’s not easy to smile at strangers and at times even people we know. And talk about smiling when you have a difficult day at work or say a nagging spouse at home or things are simply not working out. Smiling probably will not be even the last thing we would want to do. So well, there may be two or three reasons we don’t want to smile. But there are many many more reasons why we need to smile.
A smile is better than a frown: “I have never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful”
A few of us won’t particularly care for our smiles. As a matter of fact, six months ago I myself didn’t have any regard for either my smile or anybody’s smile. Yeah right, what’s so special about a smile? When I’m happy I’ll smile and when I’m not I won’t. When I see somebody I know, I’ll flash my beautiful smile. Smiling at strangers was extraneous to me. I mean, come on, that person might not even smile back at me or else he might think I’m completely out of mind. But now that I see lot of strangers smile at me, I don’t think of them to be out of their mind. In fact I feel so warm about it and give that person my beautiful smile back. There may not be anything big about one simple smile. But just think about it. When we cross paths with a stranger or a casual acquaintance isn’t a simple smile just better than a stern face or a frown.
Smiling makes us attractive: “Wear a smile and have friends; wear a scowl and have wrinkles”
We usually prefer to be around people who are cheerful and happy and try to be away from grumpy and austere people. A smile is a very important social asset. While a frown or a scowl may push people away, a smile draws them in. When we smile we create an ambience around us that attracts people to us.
So now, whenever I go out I may forget to put on my lipstick but I never forget to put on a smile.
Smile away stress: “A smile is a curve that sets everything straight”
These days stress is become a part and parcel of our lives. Stress is considered to be one of the main causes for ill health. When we are stressed a chemical called cortisol is released in our body. High amount of cortisol can lead to diabetes and skin problems. Research has shown that, if we smile when stressed, the feel-good hormones of our bodies are released and cortisol is reduced. Also, stress is often visible on our face. A simple smile can prevent us from looking stressed. It not only helps us look better but may enable us to take action again.
A smile can make us approachable: “A smile is the light in the window of your face that tells people you’re at home”
Few people are of the opinion that if you want to look professional, you need to have a stern and rigid look on your face. But I don’t believe this. I have been appearing for job interviews lately. And of course they make me nervous to a certain extent. But I noticed whenever the interviewer smiles and has a friendly expression on his face I tend to relax and be myself. A smile is welcoming and makes people at ease. It helps connect with people easily.
Smiles are contagious: “Smiling is infectious; you can catch it like flu. Someone smiled at me and I started smiling too”.
When you smile at somebody doesn’t that person smile back at you? I guess that’s the reason a smile is called contagious. A smile is something which someone can catch easily. Even in the most stressful times a smile can brighten everyone’s mood and make things happier.
Smiling boosts your immune system: “Smile- sunshine is good for your teeth”.
How crazy does this sound? You are down with flu and somebody tells you; smile and the flu might just go down. I know it sounds a bit crazy. However studies have shown that smiling helps the immune system to work better. When we smile we are relaxed and this possibly improves our immune function. So cold and flu can easily be prevented with a smile.
Smile is a best natural medicine: “Every day you spend without a smile is a lost day”.
Smile and laughter can set off a number of positive physical effects. Research has shown that smiling releases endorphins, natural pain killers and serotonin. Together these make us feel good. Research also shows that, when we smile, there is measurable reduction in our blood pressure. So why even consider allopathic or any other kind of medicines when there is something natural and easy as a smile.
Recently I came upon a story about a guy who committed suicide by jumping off a bridge. Later his suicide note was found which said “if one person smiles at me on the walk to the bridge, I will not jump”. I’m not sure what he must have meant by this statement. But my perception is that he must have lost all hopes in life and probably that one smile would be his ray of hope. In fact there are a lot of people who may feel uplifted by seeing somebody smile at them. As the quote goes “Today give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day”.
With terrorism, war, recession, communal riots, sickness, this world can be a very difficult place to live in. There may not be any motivation for us to be happy or put a smile across our face. But a smile can never do any harm. And sulking will definitely never resolve anything. Instead we can at least put up a smile. It cost’s nothing but creates so much.
So these were a few among many reasons why we need to smile. Though I personally feel, a beautiful expression like smiling does not really need a reason. However let me warn you about the side effects of smiling. People may start liking you or your beautiful smile and you may end up making new friends. You’ll look professional and yet congenial and most important have fun at work place. You may become happier and probably you even may make somebody’s day with your bright smile. Scientific research has shown that seeing a smile creates halo effect, helping us to remember other happy events more vividly, feel more positive and more motivated. So smiling also helps us become optimistic and positive. And trust me the more you smile the more these side effects.
Now-a-days people do a lot of things to get a good smile. With cosmetic dentistry and many other things it’s not very difficult to get the kind of smile we want.
I remember a funny incident about my friends little brother. Though cute and naughty, he never ever smiled. I was curious to know why he never smiled. One day I asked my friend.
“Hey Anna, I noticed Aaron never smiles. Is it because he is shy?
To my surprise Anna answered “the naughty little devil is not shy but his teeth are a little awkward and he is very conscious about it”.
“Well, there are braces. They always help”. I said
“Yeah that’s there, but he is afraid of doctors and dentists and so he prefers not to smile”.
The next time, when I visited their house I told him
“Hey Aaron beautiful girls always like guys who smile. If you don’t smile no girl will ever look at you.
The next day Anna tells me Aaron was on his way to the dentist. I guess I frightened the poor boy.
But a genuine smile is always beautiful, however it may be. A smile only portrays our inner feelings. When a smile is true other things matter little.
When I talk about smiling I don’t mean putting up a fake smile all day. It will not only make you look stupid but a big hypocrite. Trust me; a genuine smile can very easily be distinguished from a fake smile. Do you think the pretty Kingfisher airhostess smiles at everyone genuinely? I will be damned if she does. She is paid to smile. Come out of the airplane and meet her somewhere on the road and I bet she won't even recognize you. That‘s exactly a fake smile.
And all those benefits of smiling that I mentioned above are a package of true smile and not a fake smile.
So smile and spread smiles. Smiles to all...