Bangalore: Court Marriages - Trend Turning into Norm?


Bangalore: Court Marriages - Trend Turning into Norm?

Dajiworld Media Network - Bangalore

Bangalore, Jun 12: With rapid changes in society and changing value systems especially among the young, the institution of marriage too seems to be undergoing a transition. The latest trend is opting for registered marriages in court, rather than the solemn, ritual-rich, crowded ceremonies.

Court marriages go well with the nature of the present generation - the practice is quick, easy on the pockets, and devoid of traditions. All it takes is a trivial Rs 13 as fee! Given that most educated youngsters are financially independent and like to spend on their marriages themselves, registered marriage indeed looks like a fine option.

But that's not the main reason for the increasing number of such marriages. Youngsters look at it as an easy way out when their parents oppose their choice of a life partner. Some feel that getting their relationships legalised is better than to tinker with uncertainties. It does away with the constraints of caste, family background etc which are otherwise impediments to couples wanting to marry. Love marriages are mostly solemnised through court, and in some cases, couples are known to even keep their marriage a secret from their families at least for some time.

Take the case of a couple from Bangalore. The girl and the boy were still studying when they decided to get married. They did not get their parents' consent as they were still undergraduates, so the couple opted to go for a registered marriage. They kept it a secret until they were done with college, but luckily for them, the parents finally accepted them after initial outburst.

Another couple got married in a similar way after eight years of 'court'ship, and here the problem was a tad bit deeper as they belonged to different castes. The boy's parents somehow agreed, but the not the girl's. Still, they decided to go ahead with the hope of being accepted by the girl's parents some day.

According to statistics, about 10-15 percent  of youngsters go for registered marriage every month, with at least one case a day.

Moreover, the increasing generation gap has also led to this phenomenon. Youngsters like to believe themselves as responsible and make their own decisions, while for their parents they are still kids whose lives are in their hands. Conflicts often arise between parents and children regarding marriage. Youngsters also feel reluctant to discuss their love life with their parents, considering it a taboo especially in conservative households, and discouraged by a feeling that they would not be understood or accepted.

Money power also has given youngsters the confidence to settle down early in life without having to depend on parents financially. Gone are the days when threats to 'disown' the son or daughter financially would work wonders. Now, with high-paying jobs, youngsters are able to look after themselves, and in most cases, both the girl and the boy would be earning.

Nevertheless, court marriages have also made the institution of marriage lose its sanctity to some extent. The couple are not bound by rituals or guided by elders in the family. It carries with it the belief that such a marriage could be annulled anytime, leading to increase in divorce cases. As easily as the marriage is made legal, so also is it terminated. The level of understanding and the ability to adjust to each other's needs and comforts are important here, and as in many cases parents' support is absent, the couples are left in a quandary when misunderstandings arise.

If the trend continues at this rate, will we soon see a day when court marriages become the norm rather than the traditional ritualised ceremonies?

  

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Comment on this article

  • KAUP RAJESH SHETTY, KAUP/BANGALORE

    Tue, Jun 14 2011

    Yeah i do agree that this court marriage can save everything except marital relation as far i saw in the court. Being an advocate some time i myself feels that why one should get marry if they can not lead the marital life for 50 years. we gets the cases of divorce each week from the youngster's those who works in Bangalore belongs to Man galore and those are the software professionals especially works in Infosys and Wipro. when the issue comes before us we come to know that its only bcoz of financial independence,ego's small mis understanding and extra marital relationship in work environment. they fights for maintenance, 1year baby and for the share in husband's property. is it the well educated matured personnel do??is it the maturity which break the marital relationship in one year?? i would say our parents though they were poor still they lead their life by completing 50 years or 25 years, present generation are cross 10 years very hardly. so old rituals binds the couple in a bond which most of us fear to cross.

    So respect your culture first and stop follow western as they do register marriage.
    earning is doesn't mean that stop spending. you have to spend to those which you do once in a life.
    ok if we can marry again &again then i would suggest register marriage.
    why iam saying this bcoz i see EVERYDAY in Court each and every couple loosing their life in their own hand due to ego's and anger.
    So plz respect our spiritual and cultural value.

    ALL THE BEST TO EVERY BODY.

    DisAgree [1] Agree [1] Reply Report Abuse

  • A.S.Mathew, U.S.A.

    Mon, Jun 13 2011

    As this young generation is more
    rationally thinking and financially
    independent their tendency
    is forming in high speed to make their own decision in
    ing their mates. But the
    parents are looking in a different
    old fashioned way and trying to
    impose their egos and influence
    on their children. So, more
    young people are going to choose
    "court marriages" in the days
    ahead.

    DisAgree [1] Agree [1] Reply Report Abuse

  • Bulsam, Mangalore

    Mon, Jun 13 2011

    It is always better to have an elder god-father e.g. any of your admirers who need not be from both of your families, to guide the young minds to take the right steps.
    To give the registered marriage a solid foundation, make a marriage contract with all pros & cons mentioned in it so that later such marriage will turn into a night-mare. Good luck!

    DisAgree [1] Agree [2] Reply Report Abuse

  • Raag, Mangalore- Dubai

    Mon, Jun 13 2011

    Marriages are made in heaven but suffered on earth ..some one will be blessed with it and some one might be distressed with it…. In fact, it is a understanding between both and forgiveness and accepting him or her, where some find it difficult cope up and end in divorce…
    Court marriages are preferred as live in relations in the west, as present generation is educated , self dependant and able to make their decisions as their own with their choice.

    Olden days most of the children depended on their parents and staying / working together either in the farm or family business, now especially children are independent and earn their living and that too working in the Gulf face several problems. Most of the catholic find the following:

    1 Short vacations- They get 1-2 months holidays and the church rules and regulations are not favorable like time limit between the engagement and marriage, compulsory marriage preparation course, etc.
    2. Saves time and Money- The procedure in registered/ court marriages saves them from Time and money. We waste lot of money for one Traditional marriage, to keep up the image in the public - from Engagement, Roce, Marriage and Reception (Portapon) etc. The Food, Drinks, Hall, decorations, Band, MC, Cloths and of course the Jewellery, in which all think it is the matter of prestige !! (Which money can be saved for the future instead the couples struggle later to make a simple living, making a house etc)
    3.Certificate of Marriage- Is accepted world wide and needed for all formalities

    DisAgree [2] Agree [1] Reply Report Abuse

  • Rudolf Rodrigues, Bantwal/Mumbai

    Mon, Jun 13 2011

    Latest trend of live-in-relationship is catching up in India and has its advantages too in today's materialistic world!!!

    DisAgree Agree [2] Reply Report Abuse

  • Nadeem, Mangalore

    Sun, Jun 12 2011

    Marriages are parents rights, always youngsters do mistake attract each other get registered marriage later they comes know that they did mistake, later lot of the cases failed or compromise.
    It happened with two of our friends.This should be removed from system and without parents signatory registered marriages should not take place.Bcoz they are the one take care of you about 22 years and childrens cheat them.It is really painfull for the parents.

    Those who give pain to parents, they will not happy after their decissions.

    we need to protect our culture.

    DisAgree [2] Agree [1] Reply Report Abuse

  • HENRY MISQUITH, M'lore/Bahrain

    Sun, Jun 12 2011

    Wow....., these court marriages are becoming popular with educated Indian people, who do not want to waste money on lavish and unnecessary celebrations.
    And couples who have fallen in love and are not allowed to get married by their parents, also prefer court marriages. A'akir mein Hindustan ka public samajne lage ki court marriage achcha hi nahin bahoth achcha hai!
    Henry Misquith
    Bahrain.

    DisAgree [1] Agree [2] Reply Report Abuse

  • AMAR NATHAL, MANGALORE

    Sun, Jun 12 2011

    It's true that youngsters like to believe themselves as responsible and make their own decisions, not because they are wiser, but because they feel reluctant to discuss their "feelings and emotions" of love life with their parents. They have courage as economic independence has given youngsters the confidence to settle down early in life without having to depend on parents financially. Gone are the days when threats to 'disown' them. We don't know these high-paying jobs would create a happier marriages and families. Money brings quick success. Perils too!

    DisAgree [1] Agree [2] Reply Report Abuse


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