Daijiworld News Network - Udupi (MB)

Udupi, Jun 6: The atmosphere in a court is always regarded as serious. But a programme on courtroom humour held here on Monday provided a different facet of the proceedings, which kept the audience in splits.

Speaking on civil and criminal proceedings and sense of humour in courts, district and sessions magistrate K N Phanindra delighted the gathering with a series of sparkling anecdotes.

Some of the gems he produced:

A judge asks the accused: I have been seeing you come here so often. Don't you feel ashamed of it?Accused: The Court is a holy place. You and the lawyers come here every morning. So what if I too appear here often?

Lawyer: I wanted to become a pirate.
Thief: It is not easy to become a pirate. But by your luck you have become one.

A woman, accused of immoral activities, was brought to the court.
Lawyer: What is your profession?
Woman: You know it very well.
Lawyer: Where do you live:
Woman: You know it very well.
Lawyer: Well, I know it very well. But the honourable judge doesn't

Judge (to the thief): I acquit you of the charges of theft.
Thief: Sir, in that case, please order that all goods seized from my possession be returned to me.

A lawyer argued for his client - a thief - that since the accused had committed the offence with only his hands, it was not fair to punish the other limbs of his body. The judge ruled that the thief's hand be put in jail, either separately or combined with other limbs. The lawyer made a gesture to the thief, who dismantled his hand and walked away;  it was an artificial one!