Stranded in Gulf, wives spend lonely - Unbearable nights back home


New Delhi, Aug 8 (Reuters) : Inside her blue-walled house, E Bhagyam sits with a faded wedding album and talks about how much she misses her husband, who works as a welder in the Gulf.

Unaware of the recent problem of Indian migrant workers stranded in Saudi Arabia with no wages or food, she said the couple have a home loan to pay off, and she has to assume her husband is fine.

"They went in a group so they must be safe," the 36-year-old mother of two said slowly. "Even if things are bad there, he won't tell me. He'll just say everything is okay and give me details of the money transfer every month."

Like Bhagyam, in every other house in the fishing hamlet of Sadraskuppam near Kalpakkam town in India's southern state of Tamil Nadu, a wife waits anxiously for a call from the Gulf.

"WOMEN LEFT BEHIND"

There are more than 100 "women left behind", as they are known here, living lonely lives in the small hamlet, among an estimated 1 million such wives in Tamil Nadu.

They are often depressed and always worried, found a February 2016 survey commissioned by the state government.
Nearly 70 per cent of the women reported feeling anxiety, fear and loneliness.

Sixty per cent considered the additional responsibilities they must bear in the absence of their husbands - such as caring for elderly parents or sorting out financial matters - a big drawback of the migration.

The survey, which covered 20,000 households across 32 districts in the state, flagged health and children's education as the other main causes of concern.

"Ironically, the women left behind are more qualified than the men and have higher standards of education," said
Bernard D'Sami of the Chennai-based Loyola Institute of Social Science Training and Research, one of the survey partners.

Most of them married while their husbands were on a short break from working abroad, and 90 percent of them have never travelled to their spouse's country of work, he added.

SOS

Government figures show there are an estimated 6 million Indian migrants in the six Gulf states of Bahrain, Kuwait, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, United Arab Emirates and Oman.

Over the years, the Indian government and non-governmental groups have received a steady stream of complaints from migrant workers, ranging from non-payment of wages to torture and abuse.

In a high-profile case last month, workers sent an SOS to the Indian foreign ministry, stating the companies they worked for had shut up shop and had not paid them for months.

India's Foreign Minister Sushma Swaraj tweeted on July 30 that thousands of Indian workers in Saudi Arabia and Kuwait were facing a "food crisis" due to economic hardship. She appealed to an estimated 3 million Indians living in Saudi Arabia for help.

One of India's two junior foreign ministers, V.K. Singh, also travelled to Saudi Arabia to assess the situation and organise the return of the 7,700 affected Indian workers living in 20 camps for migrant labourers.

SOUL SISTERS

Men have been migrating to work from Kalpakkam for years. The nuclear power industry operating in this coastal town does not give them jobs, neither do local builders, who prefer the cheaper migrant workforce from northern Indian states.

"We know that life is not always comfortable in the Gulf but we keep going back because we have no choice," said S. Prabhu, a returnee migrant already looking for another job abroad.

V Kalaivani, 32, doesn't follow the news, and knows nothing about the crisis hitting Indian workers in the Gulf.
"Over the many years my husband has travelled to Qatar and Saudi to work, I've got used to the idea," said the housewife with two daughters. "I guess we have been lucky so far."

Bhagyam and Kalaivani don't remember the names of the companies their husbands work for. They don't know who interviewed them or how they got to their destination. A copy of their husband's passport is somewhere in a cupboard, they think.

That is the biggest challenge, said J. Jeyanthi, coordinator of the non-profit Arunodaya Migrant Resource Centre.

"The women are clueless and that often causes anxiety. The families need the money but the women pay a heavy price because they are alone, restricted by unwritten norms which include avoiding social gatherings like weddings."

Even a small issue like who will drop the children at school if they miss the bus turns into a big deal when husbands are away, Kalaivani told the Thomson Reuters Foundation.

"Most of us have parents and in-laws living a few houses away but it's not the same," she said.
Many women say they do not sleep well at night.

"We wait for our husbands to call," said Bhagyam. The phone usually rings way past midnight, when the men have finished their overtime. "In the day we are busy with housework. But at night, the loneliness is unbearable," she said.

The women are now reaching out to one other, forming a collective under an initiative by the Arunodaya Migrant Resource Centre.

From educating themselves on the perils of migration to sharing health concerns, they provide mutual support while their men are away.

"They need each other because they are in the same situation," Jeyanthi said. "They don't open up immediately, but slowly they are voicing their worries. It's a start."

  

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Comment on this article

  • J.F.D SOUZA, ATTAVAR,MANGALORE

    Wed, Aug 10 2016

    People go the Gulf countries for their livelihood and to make some money and have their own home etc. But the situation at present there going from bad to worse. better work here and spend rest of the life here happily with wife and children.

    DisAgree Agree Reply Report Abuse

  • A. S. Mathew, U.S.A.

    Tue, Aug 09 2016

    Dev Kumarji: Thank you for your honest question. The economic growth of Panama is very solid with less inflation, food itmes are very low priced whereas in the neighboring Columbia with Venezuela, the food price is very high. Columbia has rain forest and coffee cultivation. For the people of Venezuela, they find a better market in Panama, than getting from Trinidad where they import a lot of food items and the price is not that cheap.

    DisAgree Agree Reply Report Abuse

  • akhilesh, mangalore/bangalore

    Tue, Aug 09 2016

    Why blame modi for all the ills thats happening around???? sickulars just cant srand him!!! GOOD!!! but he you just cant stop him.....

    DisAgree [2] Agree [5] Reply Report Abuse

  • Sandeep, Mang

    Tue, Aug 09 2016

    People worry so much for gulf and other countries their situation but in India still they want acche din.

    DisAgree [1] Agree [11] Reply Report Abuse

  • A. S. Mathew, U.S.A.

    Mon, Aug 08 2016

    The highly plunged oil price is sending shock waves around the world and putting millions of people into financial trap and severe depression.

    While taking one small country called Venezuela in South America once with the highest standard of living due to the inflow of wealth, now sitting at the top of the largest oil reserve in the world, 300 billion barrels. In the June 2014 price of $ 115/bl, they are sitting at the top of over $ 34 trillion wealth.

    But, now that country is hungry bartering oil with Jamacia for food and the people of Venezuela are crossing the borders to Panama to get food like refugees.

    Even though the good news of the low price for oil is good for the consumers around the world, but the aftermath of this highly plunged oil price will be creating greater sorrows around the world for millions of average families who were leaning on the oil income through work.

    DisAgree [2] Agree [15] Reply Report Abuse

  • Dev Kumar, Lonavala Resort

    Mon, Aug 08 2016

    Venuzealans are waiting in colombian border to have food and medicene.
    After are chavez once against america as like castro.

    DisAgree [16] Agree [4] Reply Report Abuse

  • A. S. Mathew, U.S.A.

    Tue, Aug 09 2016

    Kumarji: Chavez, the great disciple of Castro totally ignored the agriculture sector of the nation due to the inflow of oil wealth. 2 cents/gl petroleum, free houses for poor people etc put him at the worshipping stage by the masses. He employed his party followers and fired the smart people from the Government. Now, it is nothing but national pandemonium.

    The very highly skyrocketed price from 3 dollar/bl in 1970 all the way to $ 147.00/bl and the oil producing countries were anticipating to reach $ 250.00. What a greedy dream it was?

    Now the budget cutting through slary cutting-lay offs etc will be creating a very serious domino effect in the oil producing countries of the world, and the millions of expatriates working in those countries like 7 million people from India alone working in the GCC countries.

    DisAgree [2] Agree [4] Reply Report Abuse

  • Dev Kumar, Khed/Ratnagiri

    Tue, Aug 09 2016

    Mathewji..Is it venuzealans are crossing colombian border or panama.
    Because colombia brazil and guyana are there neighbouring borders.
    Somewhat confused...panama fall too far.

    DisAgree [1] Agree [1] Report Abuse

  • Rita, Germany

    Mon, Aug 08 2016

    Gulf earnings in future should be slowly Forget.Atleast in certain countrys,for not qualified People.Even qualified ones get the salary of not what they expect.Only who were in previous years in gulf had luck to have something better to earn and feed Family.Yes foreign countrys are not what one expects always.Poor wives have to bear loneliness,and burden of Family ,children and whatever it brings.Some bear,and others flyaway from nest,which causes shock and heartbreak to the men who worked hard for Family.

    DisAgree [1] Agree [23] Reply Report Abuse

  • Dev Kumar, Lonavala Resort

    Mon, Aug 08 2016

    How long they will stay in nest..when open sky available to fly.

    DisAgree [16] Agree [6] Reply Report Abuse

  • Chetan .S, mangalore

    Mon, Aug 08 2016

    THE GOVT.OF INDIA SHOULD ACT FAST AND GIVE MORE WORK OPPORTUNITIES IN INDIA ITSELF .NO NEED OF INDIANS GO OUT OF INDIA SPECIALLY TO GULF,IF INDIA HAD TAKEN CARE OF THEIR CITIZEN.

    DisAgree [7] Agree [23] Reply Report Abuse

  • HENRY MISQUITH, Bahrain

    Mon, Aug 08 2016

    Turmoil in the Middle East is clearly visible now.

    DisAgree [4] Agree [27] Reply Report Abuse

  • stan, udupi

    Mon, Aug 08 2016

    The govt has to be blamed for their plight. No employment opportunities in India.Instead of focus sing on development they are busy protecting cows.People got fooled in a big way by promises like achhe din and sab ka saath, sab ka vikas which ultimately turn out be big lies.

    DisAgree [13] Agree [32] Reply Report Abuse

  • Dev Kumar, Lonavala Resort

    Mon, Aug 08 2016

    Are absouletly agreeing with you. No job opportunities provided from last 67 years. For that reason sixty lakhs people flown to gulf for seeking job. Earlier days people use to go by ship reaching after a month. In persian gulf earlier Indian rupees circulating all over. Arabs well aware how our forefathers loook after these people when they reach our shore. Forget that time america is not on map. India is called golden bird..latter on looted by mughals britishers turks portugeses mongalians greeks and latter italian family.
    Before two year's back again restructing all the bricks left one by one..and are trying to construct once again.

    DisAgree [16] Agree [8] Reply Report Abuse

  • PEDDU, MANGALURU

    Mon, Aug 08 2016

    GOVT HAS TO DO SOMETHING WITH GULFIES AS THEY ARE LIKE "THREESHANKU" OR " NA GHAT KA NA GHAR KA " SITUATION. WHICH IS HORRIBLE SPECIFICALLY FAMILY LIFE ! AFTER ALL MONEY FOR WHAT WHERE THERE IS NO "ZINDAGI"

    GOVT TO BE PREPARED TO RECEIVE ALL THE LABOURS AND WHITE COLORS IN COMING DAYS AS THE OIL PRICES SOARING DRASTICALLY AND NO POLITICS PLEASE

    DisAgree [3] Agree [22] Reply Report Abuse


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