Refusing sex during honeymoon not cruelty : High Court


Mumbai, March 10  (PTI) : The Bombay High Court has ruled that refusing to have intercourse during honeymoon does not amount to cruelty, while setting aside a family court judgement dissolving the marriage of a couple on this ground.

The court also ruled that a wife donning shirt and pant to office occasionally and going out of town for office work soon after marriage also would not amount to cruelty towards her husband.

“Married life should be assessed as a whole and few isolated instances over certain period will not amount to cruelty,” observed justices V K Tahilramani and P N Deshmukh in an order early this week.


“The ill-conduct must proceed for a fairly lengthy period where the relationship has deteriorated to an extent that because of the acts and behaviour of a spouse, one party finds it extremely difficult to live any longer with the other party (which) may amount to mental cruelty,” the bench said.

Trivial irritations, quarrels, normal wear and tear of married life would not be adequate for grant of divorce on ground of cruelty, the court held.

“Only sustained unjustified and reprehensible conduct affecting physical and mental health of the other spouse may lead to mental cruelty. There is no evidence to that effect in the present case”, the bench noted.

The court was hearing an appeal filed by a 29-year-old wife who was aggrieved by a family court order of December 2012, passing a divorce decree on a plea made by her husband on the grounds of cruelty.

After their marriage in 2009, the couple went to Mahabaleshwar for honeymoon and it was the case of the husband that he tried to consummate the marriage but the wife did not allow him to do so.

  

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Comment on this article

  • Jossey Saldanha, Mumbai

    Mon, Mar 10 2014

    Getting married does not necessarily mean holding the key to her ...

    DisAgree [6] Agree [10] Reply Report Abuse

  • Vincent Rodrigues, Katapadi/Bangalore

    Mon, Mar 10 2014

    Deferring or refusing sex during the honeymoon is not the cruelty as per the court is really acceptable because honeymoon need not be meant only for sex but for other entertainments,understanding too.Thanq.

    DisAgree [4] Agree [9] Reply Report Abuse

  • Flavian, Mangalore/Kuwait

    Mon, Mar 10 2014



    Hi Bhandarkar,

    Too complicated !

    DisAgree [3] Agree [6] Reply Report Abuse

  • R.Bhandarkar, M'lore

    Mon, Mar 10 2014

    Simple matter, Flavian, made complicated! I think you and everybody for that matter might have come across this 'solvable' case in your life-time at least once! During honeymoon- hmmmmmmmmm-think it's rare o.k.?
    Now why I have not included myself?
    Just like that....
    Also You see somebody has told my wife that the 'R.Bhandarkar' who is writing here could actually be her hubby! She has been making 'discreet enquiries' o.k? Hope she doesn't read all this!
    I must find that 'somebody' who put doubts in her mind that I could be her hubby writing here....
    See Clifford from Canada also very confused as to 'What to do', 'I always do' and all that....

    DisAgree [3] Agree [9] Reply Report Abuse

  • Clifford Fernandes, Canada

    Mon, Mar 10 2014


    During marriage, both said "I do"
    After marriage, she said "Don't do"
    But, he wants "I always do".

    DisAgree [4] Agree [23] Reply Report Abuse

  • R.Bhandarkar, M'lore

    Mon, Mar 10 2014

    Possible scenario conceptualized:
    This needs some thinking o.k...with dialogues, songs and all. Might be a trend setter also in some 'ad' films and all that in future...
    So here goes...
    He in 'romantic pensive' mood...
    'Adhaa hai Chandrama Raat Aadhi...
    Rehnaa jaaye Teri Meri Baat Aadhi..
    Mulaaqat...
    She 'butting' in forcefully...
    Gadhaa Hai Balamma Thu-Baath Seedhi
    Why do you force me -If I ain't ready?
    If I ain't ready....
    (Background score please-Pheen Pheen ..something like that...)
    From there the 'court' matter started you see...
    The hubby simply could not take it 'lying down'!!

    DisAgree [5] Agree [10] Reply Report Abuse

  • R.Fernandes, Dubai

    Mon, Mar 10 2014

    Instead of going to court, he should have consulted his wife.
    If there was no honey available under the moon on that date. he should have changed the date. Very simple...

    DisAgree [5] Agree [28] Reply Report Abuse

  • vivek, herebile / abudhabi

    Mon, Mar 10 2014

    Strange that court have to rule such a private matter....husband and wife should solve matter within 4 walls...with 3rd person's interference problem become Irreparable...in such matter husband should approach properly..wife must refuse in a proper way..Army style won't work....

    DisAgree [1] Agree [29] Reply Report Abuse

  • R.Bhandarkar, M'lore

    Mon, Mar 10 2014

    In army they 'Harm' is it? Frontier experience they use? I dunno...You know?

    DisAgree [4] Agree [8] Reply Report Abuse

  • Santan Mascarenhas, Kinnigoli/Mumbai

    Mon, Mar 10 2014


    At 29, she was having a desire or not is clear, because, she would not have married otherwise. Elsewhere, in other papers, I have read that the woman had told the court that she did not allow to consummate the marriage, because she was having menses then. Also, her going out of town was arranged by the company, according to business needs. As far as dress is concerned, it is a big issue over a small tissue. I really pity that woman who married such a husband.

    DisAgree [7] Agree [35] Reply Report Abuse

  • smita, Saudi Arabia

    Mon, Mar 10 2014

    In a country like India, where arranged marriages are common, it's very understandable that one will take time to get to the spouse before they just jump into sex. It takes maturity on the part of the man and woman to understand this sensitive issue.
    If trivial matters like these lead to divorce , it shows the lack of education and maturity on the part of the husband. Love grows into marriage through mutual understanding and sacrifice and sex becomes truly enjoyable only then. Our society has a lot to learn regarding this.

    DisAgree [13] Agree [54] Reply Report Abuse

  • Muneer, Shimoga/Jeddah

    Mon, Mar 10 2014

    Thanks! Good comments..

    DisAgree [2] Agree [10] Reply Report Abuse

  • Lydia Lobo, Kadri

    Mon, Mar 10 2014

    So true Smita.

    Marriage is for two anxious individuals who approach it with mutual trust and care, not for sex oriented beasts.

    I am sure the lady in this case will find someone with lot of care and understanding than this womanizer.

    DisAgree [18] Agree [9] Reply Report Abuse

  • Smitha Lobo, Mangalore

    Mon, Mar 10 2014

    @ Lydia, womanizer so what.See Shashi Tharoor, N D Tiwari etc yet ladies enjoy with them.
    All that you need is good mind set, but not the guy who is with you.

    DisAgree [1] Agree [11] Reply Report Abuse

  • pawl, mangalore

    Mon, Mar 10 2014

    NOWADAYS MEDIA AND COURT TREATING WOMAN AS A SPECIES WHERE YOU CANNOT EVEN TOUCH WOMAN AFTER MARRIAGE ALSO. TOO MUCH FREEDOM TO WOMAN AND TOO MUCH WOMAN FRIENDLY LAWS ARE DIVIDING FAMILY TODAY.

    DisAgree [22] Agree [41] Reply Report Abuse

  • Nancy, Belman

    Mon, Mar 10 2014

    Still....tooo many crimes against women keep growing na Pawl?

    DisAgree [4] Agree [2] Reply Report Abuse

  • R.Bhandarkar, M'lore

    Mon, Mar 10 2014

    Then refusing to share handkerchief
    is??
    Just asking...List is much longer....

    DisAgree [7] Agree [23] Reply Report Abuse

  • Baba, Mangalore

    Mon, Mar 10 2014

    Even at the age of 29 she has no desire, surprising!

    DisAgree [16] Agree [39] Reply Report Abuse

  • R.Bhandarkar, M'lore

    Mon, Mar 10 2014

    You have to also look at the 'Timing' Re Babaa!!

    DisAgree [6] Agree [63] Reply Report Abuse

  • Bryan, Bahrain

    Mon, Mar 10 2014

    Come Re, Go Re are spoken by Goan people, you know Re Bhandakar...

    DisAgree [3] Agree [20] Reply Report Abuse

  • R.Bhandarkar, M'lore

    Mon, Mar 10 2014

    Where do you think I am from Re Bryan?

    DisAgree [2] Agree [30] Report Abuse


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Title: Refusing sex during honeymoon not cruelty : High Court



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