Goan Parents Initiate Sex Education At Home

By Bosco de Souza Eremita - UCAN

PANAJI, India, Nov 19: It was 4:30 a.m. when 8-year-old Torcato walks into his parents open bedroom asking for water, unfazed by the regular sight of his parents sleeping in a tight embrace.

On instinct, his mother woke and attended to him, Torcato's father, Felicio Sousa, recounted to UCA News. Their open bedroom, he explained, is the couple's way of introducing their children to the subject of sexuality.

"Our bedroom door is deliberately kept wide open, so that when the kids get up in the morning, they can see us sleeping in bed in each other's arms," he said.

In Goa, the tiny western state where the family lives, the question of how to teach children about sex and related matters is currently being debated. The state is still undecided about whether to introduce sex education in schools, according to Anil Powar, deputy director of the education department. The issue, he says, has become "complex."
The federal government, prompted by concern over the spread of HIV/AIDS, has pushed for sex education in schools. Textbooks prepared by the National Centre for Education, Research and Training as part of this initiative deal with human anatomy, menstrual cycles, AIDS and other topics, Powar told UCA News.

Meanwhile, some Goan parents have found creative ways approach the subject at home, since openly talking about sex is still taboo in India.

Sousa said the inspiration to keep the bedroom open came from a program Goa archdiocese has conducted in its schools for the past 30 years. He acknowledged that he and his wife still find it hard to speak to their children about sex, so decided to teach them something through their example of physical intimacy.

Goa archdiocese's Family Service Centre conducts the classes Sousa referred to. Center director Father Socorro Mendes says they call it not sex education, "but education in human sexuality."

The priest claimed the archdiocesan program assumes special significance when the entire country is debating the idea of sex education in schools as a way to counter AIDS.

Damodar Bhousle, a retired government health department official, supports the government initiative for sex education. But the program needs a moral outlook to dispel the fear that sex education would lead to free sex, he asserts. "The problem is that everybody thinks we are campaigning for a liberal world, which is untrue," he told UCA News.

Retired schoolteacher Stanley Fernandes agrees the government should focus on "the moral aspect" if it is introducing sex education to curtail AIDS. Even Catholic ministers publicly support safe sex to fight AIDS, he told UCA News. "This is clear," he pointed out, "when they propagate use of condoms but do not talk about moral values."

The Goa archdiocesan program aims to promote chastity, strong family ties, respect for elders and other values, Father Mendes explained.

It comprises one-day classes for students from eighth grade to university that teach about basic human anatomy, dating, values education, HIV/AIDS and other topics. Virginity, the importance of respecting another's body and the need to reserve sex exclusively for marriage also are discussed.

The program has had an impact on students, Sousa being one of them.

He says his decision to educate his children about spousal intimacy goes back to when a classmate refuted his belief that a stork brought him into this world. "I still remember his sarcasm: 'Hush, your papa and mama had sex and that's how you were born,'" he recalled.

Sousa said he was angry and hit the classmate for "casting such dirty aspersions on my parents." They did not speak for months. "Years later, when I came to know the truth, it came as a shock," he added.

It took "a long time" for him to accept that his parents indulged in sex, but now he makes it a point to "peck my wife on the lips" in their children's presence so they grow up understanding such things are normal between a husband and wife. "It is better this way than the TVs, which bombard kids with a culture of sex with many partners," Sousa asserted. He added that he plans to give his children books on sex and marriage when they grow up "a little more."