By John B Monteiro
Additional Pics by Neal Simon, Studio Joshua
Mangaluru, Jul 26: What does it feel like to meet a grand old man who recently celebrated his 108th birthday? I returned after two short post-birthday visits to, and interaction with, him – totally disagreeing with what Francis Bacon, English philosopher and writer (1561-1676) said: "Men of age object too much, consult too long, adventure too little, repent too soon, and seldom drive business home to full period, but content themselves with the mediocrity of success."
This prognosis of old age is largely debunked by the life of super-grand old man, Joseph Menezes, perhaps the oldest in the coastal districts of Dakshina Kannada and Udupi, living in a rural hamlet at Magandadi House, Bolkunje, about 40 Km from Mangaluru. But, we must start at the beginning with his pedigree and progeny.
Joseph was born in the then composite parishes of Kinnigoli (1814) and Kirem (1730) to Diacus and Antonia (nee Pinto) Menezes on June 28, 1909 – fifth of eight children, three boys and five girls. He studied up to V St. in St. Paul Primary School. Living in a joint family on a 6-acre farm, Joseph married Lucy Cutinha from the same parish in 1927. Over the years he left the joint family household, moved to Balkunje and built a cosy little tiled house with tiny utilitarian rooms.
Meanwhile, the Menezes couple had five children – two of whom died in infancy. The eldest among the survivors, Denis, joined the seminary and became a priest – opting to serve in Bellary. The second, Sr Blandine joined the Bethany Order and is now attached to Providence Convent in Bolkunje. The third, Mark, became a teacher, first in Hassan and ending up as Asst Headmaster at St Aloysius, Mangaluru. He married Leena D’Souza, also a teacher, in 1979 and they had two daughters, Jyothsna, married to Cyril Pais, with two children, Megan and Jaden, living in Bangalore, and the second daughter, Roshni, married to Raymond, with two children, Nathan and Sara ,also living in Bangalore.
Fr Denis, Sr Blandine and the daughters of the late Mark and their spouses comprise the support system for Joseph who lives alone in a modest tiled house in Bolkunje.
Joseph was shattered by the death of his beloved son in 1988 followed by the death of his wife in 1991; but his deep faith in God remained unshaken. He picked himself up and chose to live alone. Apart from his medical expenses, the yield from the coconut grove has been enough to look after the frugal bare running expenses of the household, including his care-giver Sujatha. Sujatha had been his on-site caretaker for the last five years, with close bonding, as between grandfather and grand-daughter, which cannot be missed even by a casual visitor like me.
The Bible, in Psalms (XC 12), says: "The days of our years are three-score years and ten; if by reason of strength they be four-score years,... for it is soon cut off and we fly away." So, clearly Joseph has outlived the Biblical age. In my journalism forays I have met and interviewed persons past 100 years. But, Joseph is the first one who is not bed-bound, or on wheel-chair or using walker. He uses two walking sticks.
Of course, he spends a lot of time in bed – not all of it to rest or sleep. He reads papers and books in bed, propped on pillows, taking advantage of the natural back-light percolating into the room from the glassed window. Other times he rests or reads sitting on chair placed near the front door. Beyond reading, Joseph spends his time reciting prayers - five rosaries, way of the cross and a number of common prayers and litanies. He keenly follows news on TV. He has sound knowledge on all the political and other happenings and reads the daily newspaper from start to end. Joseph does his own toilet routine, with Sujatha giving him a daily shave with safety razor. After a surgery, he was almost bedridden for a couple of months, but his grit and determination helped him to start walking again.
What is the secret of Joseph’s longevity? Basically, it seems to be in his genes. According to his family, peaceful surroundings, a stress- free life of prayer, controlled diet and a complete surrender to the will of God have contributed to his long life. At a time and in the village setting of scarce doctors and medicines, Joseph’s family seems to have had a record of longevity. His elder brother, Felix, died at 103. His younger sister, though now bed-ridden for three years, is 97 years old. And in the case of Joseph, he has been a teetotaller and non-smoker for life. Some doctor suggested snuff for some ailment which he gave up since his cataract operation. He had been diagnosed with three artery blockages; but carries on with home remedy potions and very regulated diet.
What is it like living alone in a village house at his venerable age? For one, Sujatha, his devoted care-giver, bonds with him like a family member and provides great on-site care and confidence. Then there is Sr. Blandine who has been now posted in the Bethany Order’s local convent, with her superiors wanting her to take care of her father. She visits him almost every day. The offsite family visit their super-aged patriarch often, the latest being for the low-key 108th birthday in June. His centenary celebration was a grand affair and so was his birthday in 2015 as it was jointly celebrated as golden jubilee of the priesthood of Fr Denis and that of Sr Blandine’s joining the convent.
Joseph was felicitated in 2012 during the post-centenary silver jubilee celebrations of Mangalore Diocese for being one of the oldest members of the Diocese. In fact, he is the only person in his parish who has seen the Balkunje church being constructed. It was felt proper by the then Parish Priest that he was the right person to inaugurate the grand entrance arch to the church and, thus, he has his name permanently engraved at the entrance.
Joseph’s two strengths are prayer and hope. He would walk to church for mass daily and personally tend to his coconut grove well into his nineties. Secondly, he has an amazing memory - he recognises all who visit him and he enquires about the welfare of their families. He will not discuss his health or his personal issues; rather he will talk about the visitor's life, health and their children. He loves children and will sit for hours watching his great grandchildren play. He knows all the village children and on any given day, one can see tiny tots walk alone to spend time with their favourite 'Aba'. He is 'Aba' to everyone in the village and also the surrounding villages. People come to him to seek his blessings before special events like weddings; they come to seek his advice on personal or family issues and he makes it a point to spend quality time with each and every one who visits him.
"If you ask what is the single-most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension." - George Burns, American comedian and writer (1896-1996).This, without further amplification for lack of space, is confirmed in the life of Joseph Menezes. We can only wish him continued good health and more innings.